The Road to El Dorado (Are Tulio & Miguel the Real Villains?)

Jasmin and Cherie dive headfirst into The Road to El Dorado, debating whether Tulio and Miguel are cheeky heroes or just degenerate con-men with great hair. Along the way, they confess their cartoon crushes (yes, Bandit from Bluey makes the cut), play “Moose, Marry, Avoid” with conquistadors, and wrestle with an ethical conundrum involving bananas, bribery, and classroom politics. Expect Elton John sing-alongs, inappropriate Disney jokes, and plenty of loose moose energy.

Transcript

00:26.52
Jasmin
Hello fans or fan, more likely for the stage of where this podcast is at. Hello to our one fan. ah I'm here again. My name's Jasmine if for anyone who has not yet listened to us and Cherie's here as well.

00:42.88
Cherie
I'm also here.

00:45.19
Jasmin
Ah, evidence. There you go. You can't say she wasn't here. She is. She's right there. And today, just so you know what's on the cards, we were with Shereen. I was talking about how we had a really good time doing episode one. We were talking about The Emperor's New Groove.

01:00.06
Jasmin
Maybe nothing better than movies that we watched when we were younger. Then we did something that was a little bit more broader and I was like, that was like the Simpsons and Family Guy. And I was like, kind of had more fun talking about Disney movies. I think I might be really immature. Yeah.

01:13.13
Jasmin
And Sheree was like, I'm similarly immature. So we have a new plan today. We are doing the other best movie of the 90s, The Road to El Dorado.

01:26.76
Jasmin
I need a sound for that. It's too good. It needs to be like, bring or something. But anyway, I don't have a sound. for those of you who don't know the movie The Road to El Dorado, it might be some of Elton John's finest work.

01:44.54
Jasmin
If you're an Elton John fan, you might have liked that.

01:47.62
Cherie
I don't think we can understate that enough, by the way.

01:48.09
Jasmin
It's a

01:51.45
Jasmin
I will continually refer to it and and you also feel free to keep bringing up how it's kind of like Phil Collins in Tarzan where everyone's like,

02:01.72
Cherie
um i was

02:05.74
Jasmin
like he he didn't have to go that hard in songs about monkeys but he did that shit for us, you know. Oh,

02:13.72
Cherie
you It's yeah, it's on par. I'm on, i agree.

02:17.08
Jasmin
my God. Now I want to do Tarzan. Tarzan next time. Okay.

02:20.91
Cherie
How do you split

02:21.49
Jasmin
But for today, The Road to El Dorado, there was this really, there's a character in there who was um loyal, he really cared about the people around him, really wanted the best for everyone. His name was Teco Khan.

02:36.78
Cherie
that time?

02:37.50
Jasmin
And then there were these two fucking losers, criminals, by the way, and their names were Tulio and Miguel. um

02:47.37
Cherie
you

02:47.70
Jasmin
Just because they were funny.

02:48.60
Cherie
i

02:50.86
Jasmin
Say it again.

02:51.90
Cherie
I said, how do you sleep at night? but on

02:54.78
Jasmin
Me? Because I don't think Tulio and Miguel are the heroes.

02:56.38
Cherie
ah want being your opinion

02:58.35
Jasmin
No,

03:00.12
Cherie
You called them losers. They were my cartoon cartoon.

03:02.93
Jasmin
I meant their bank balance.

03:06.76
Cherie
They what?

03:08.93
Jasmin
I just meant their bank balances.

03:11.37
Cherie
Oh, yes, they did lose their bank balance yeah gambling. Yeah, that's that's fair.

03:16.30
Jasmin
I'm also a loser. I relate to them and everything. But they were degenerate, criminal hotties that were pretty funny.

03:28.32
Cherie
That's what I was going to say.

03:33.62
Jasmin
Hotties that were funny.

03:34.66
Cherie
Why are they so hot?

03:36.91
Jasmin
Why are we so attracted to cartoon characters?

03:40.20
Cherie
It's concerning. When we get to the lion thing, I mean, yeah it's concerning.

03:42.28
Jasmin
Like I've told

03:45.16
Cherie
Have

03:46.19
Jasmin
Oh, I'm kidding.

03:49.81
Cherie
you not seen COVID?

03:49.71
Jasmin
So I'm sure we've had this conversation. you You're into Kovu.

03:56.75
Cherie
Have you not seen?

03:57.61
Jasmin
i'm into. no but I'm a Mufasa girl.

04:02.19
Cherie
oh yeah. Okay, I could see that. But, yeah. It's Kovale all the way from me. I think I've sidetracked us now, though.

04:10.92
Jasmin
No, this problem goes way further than that. I've discussed at length with Matt that I'm pretty into Bandit from Bluey. yeah

04:19.93
Cherie
it Who isn't into Bandit from Bluey?

04:24.76
Jasmin
God, I hope other people are. Like, I'm going to feel really disgusting if it's just me that's, you know,

04:27.47
Cherie
No, it's

04:30.99
Jasmin
into

04:31.37
Cherie
not just you. My kids are too old for Bluey and even I'm like, yeah, Bandit all the way.

04:37.11
Jasmin
God damn that dog's doing it all the right stuff. Um, Well, we're going to have to go to therapists and talk to them about our daddy issues, but we'll do that later.

04:48.91
Jasmin
Right now we're going to talk about the road to El Dorado. and as I've mentioned, there is a villain and there is also the hero, or in this movie there's two, their buddies, Tulio and Miguel.

05:02.22
Jasmin
And pretty much if you haven't watched it, then what happens is these two guys, they're not in Spain. Where are they?

05:11.23
Cherie
They're in Spain.

05:11.89
Jasmin
Mexico?

05:12.20
Cherie
They're in Spain.

05:14.20
Jasmin
Oh, yeah, that's They go row back to Spain.

05:15.64
Cherie
They discover Mexico, don't they? Yeah,

05:21.08
Jasmin
He's going with, they end up in Cortez's boat. Where was he taking them?

05:24.78
Cherie
yeah they're going to the New World, which I believe was Mexico. It's like an Aztec city or something.

05:29.10
Jasmin
Okay, yes, it all makes sense, yeah.

05:33.10
Jasmin
Say that again.

05:34.26
Cherie
it's as It's an Aztec city. like Does that sound right?

05:39.68
Jasmin
I was just a history teacher.

05:40.29
Cherie
I don't know.

05:41.75
Jasmin
Why are you asking me this stuff?

05:44.27
Cherie
Thank you.

05:44.20
Jasmin
I don't know.

05:47.72
Jasmin
but they, yes, okay, so they're in Spain and they get given a map in a game of dice. The map is yeah the map to El Dorado, the lost city of gold.

06:01.28
Jasmin
Then they accidentally end up on a Spanish conquistador's ship. They escape from that ship. and wash up on an island that just happens to be the island that El Dorado is on and they've got the map.

06:16.17
Jasmin
Now, that's kind of movie magic and at no time when I was a kid did I go, come on, bullshit, that would never happen. I was like, oh, my God, it's so lucky they've got that map because they're on the island.

06:31.31
Cherie
Do you know, I don't think I ever thought about it that deeply as a kid.

06:35.58
Jasmin
Yeah, no, we were just like, this is good. that's They're going to need that.

06:40.02
Cherie
Yes. I was amazed, to be honest, I was always amazed that they were able to read the map because the landmarks on the map were a little bit like um confusing.

06:50.91
Jasmin
Yeah, yeah

06:52.91
Cherie
They could have been anything. it was like a rock, a stream.

06:54.90
Jasmin
yeah I agree.

06:57.00
Cherie
What?

06:57.73
Jasmin
Yes. And a bird.

07:00.14
Cherie
and

06:59.89
Jasmin
Yeah, a rock that's shaped like a bird. This one just had birds flying out of it. They're like, close enough. There's birds around. There's birds around. That's the thing. um Yeah, so I also didn't put any thought into it now, I think, but I thought, oh, they're sort of banking on us being not overly thoughtful, aren't they?

07:18.12
Jasmin
um And then they these two guys are con men. All they want is gold. They find themselves in the city of gold, and so what do they do? They try and get as much of the gold as they can, take it and leave.

07:29.68
Jasmin
How are they the Yeah.

07:34.13
Cherie
Well, it's a little bit more nuanced than that, though, isn't it? Because they were fearful for their lives. Like, they were going there with the intention of robbing the place.

07:46.56
Cherie
And then when they did get there, they they were terrified of being killed. So they did their whole god shtick. And then it just worked out for them.

07:55.96
Jasmin
Well, they thought that they were gods. They just immediately said, oh, you guys are gods, and they were like, ooh, we can use this to our advantage.

08:03.86
Cherie
ah

08:04.00
Jasmin
At that moment, could they have said, oh, no, no, sorry, we're actually not gods. Don't kill us, though. Or do you think they were just like, we have to do this because we could die?

08:13.98
Cherie
Yeah, oh, 100%. I don't think they were walking away from that ah in very good shape if they were not gods. If they weren't gods, they were just thieves.

08:23.35
Jasmin
Okay.

08:25.68
Cherie
So they were going to be dealt with. Hmm.

08:29.62
Jasmin
Oh, okay. So they were put in a position that they had to be criminals, even though they started off as criminals before they were in any position.

08:35.89
Cherie
They've not given any opportunity to to backtrack from their original plane, though.

08:38.88
Jasmin
But then later on,

08:44.29
Jasmin
yeah they were like, thank God we've been practising as being criminals because we we're really going to need to be criminals in this situation. It's good thing we've got this practice. Then we've got Teko Khan, which is this... um religious dude who realizes that they're not gods so he makes a big rock cat come to life and destroy the city while while it's going after them to it's not really to save the city it's just so that he's he's got the power he becomes a god he's trying to be a god is that right

09:18.49
Cherie
Yeah, you made that sound kind of musical, though. Like, he made a rock cat. He's, like, rocking out all over the city.

09:27.40
Cherie
That's where my brain went. I know that you mean literally a rock turned into a giant cat. But, no, that's that's not not where my brain is at today. You're right.

09:38.60
Jasmin
A rock cat that was, like, playing bad music at them to make them leave.

09:39.67
Cherie
Okay.

09:43.39
Cherie
It depends. That's subjective. Do you like rock music? I like rock music. i've I've never seen a cat play rock music. Maybe they would do it justice.

09:51.91
Jasmin
Yeah.

09:52.91
Cherie
We can't say it's a little bad.

09:53.23
Jasmin
If you're like, okay, this isn't working, they seem to like rock music. Play some jazz. Play some banjo stuff. Like, just find out what they don't like. We're trying to get them out of here. He did...

10:07.55
Jasmin
He did demand a human sacrifice. so

10:15.46
Cherie
Literally, there are i I think he, um like all of us, has at one time gone out into he's you know, the place where he lives, into his local marketplace and ah just been really intensely annoyed by other people.

10:35.46
Cherie
And he's like, I think human sacrifice is on the cards.

10:40.30
Jasmin
Yeah, it's not even in his little book of spells. He's just like, I swear the gods want this and that guy first.

10:44.39
Cherie
Yeah.

10:47.81
Cherie
I'm spearheading him in the movement.

10:50.61
Jasmin
Yeah. It's just some chick rejects him and he puts her right down in his human sacrifice book, like one of the original serial killers.

10:58.73
Cherie
He's got a little diary.

11:01.74
Jasmin
aye I would be the first one on that list. If I lived in that city, i'd just be walking down the road, being myself, and he'd be like,

11:12.99
Jasmin
and I write me in the book.

11:17.63
Jasmin
I'm confident of that. I am.

11:19.99
Cherie
I don't know. I think, um, who would it? Chell. I think maybe Chell might be first on the list.

11:28.75
Jasmin
ah Being too slutty?

11:31.01
Cherie
Um,

11:30.95
Jasmin
So Chell is a character in this movie who's from El Dorado.

11:32.32
Cherie
let

11:34.79
Jasmin
She doesn't want to live in El Dorado anymore. She uses the dudes to take her out of there, back to their world ah because she's living in a lost city that's cut off from civilisation and any contact with the outside world.

11:47.51
Jasmin
But to do it, she has sex with one of them and you see them have sex.

11:52.21
Cherie
Disney did not hold back. oh

11:56.13
Jasmin
Yeah.

11:57.48
Cherie
Oh yeah. Chell used what she had. She used what she had and Disney were like, you know what? More power to her. Let's keep it in. Let's not shield the children from this.

12:08.51
Jasmin
It's the oldest profession, you know, like sh

12:13.39
Cherie
And there's a lot of gold to made in El Dorado. um

12:17.85
Jasmin
The one thing that they don't need because it's got no value anymore because everybody's got heaps of it.

12:22.33
Cherie
<unk>

12:22.89
Jasmin
um The best line of the movie is where she's like, do you want some of this gold or whatever? And she hands him like her earrings and he's like. um where was she keeping that because she's wearing skin-tight clothes?

12:37.65
Jasmin
and Where was she keeping them?

12:38.71
Cherie
That's when she's got the dice.

12:39.33
Jasmin
like

12:41.75
Cherie
She's stolen his dice. and la

12:43.06
Jasmin
oh that's right.

12:45.30
Cherie
You've got your wires crossed. But that is actually the best line in the movie.

12:49.53
Jasmin
That's right.

12:49.82
Cherie
Absolutely hilarious. Where was she keeping them?

12:51.83
Jasmin
Yeah, like how did you get those?

12:52.44
Cherie
Why were they allowed to make that joke?

12:53.23
Jasmin
And where was she?

12:54.76
Cherie
It blows my mind and I'm so glad that they were allowed to make it.

12:59.54
Jasmin
They mean in her vagina, right? Is that the joke?

13:02.88
Cherie
They definitely mean that. Where else could she have been keeping it?

13:05.87
Jasmin
I'm an adult. Yeah, I'm an adult. I can't say vagina. It's too rude. Like it's too, I'm really immature. I'm too immature that. So I say vagina.

13:16.32
Jasmin
So if any of the listeners are out there like going, oh, shit, I don't know what a vagina is and they're getting out a dictionary they feel stupid because they've never heard that word. It's not a word. So you're fine. It means, I'm just going to say it one time, vagina. Okay, we're moving on.

13:30.45
Jasmin
Okay.

13:31.83
Cherie
i kind of yeah Oh my god.

13:34.28
Jasmin
I know, I know, I said it to heaps of people.

13:37.72
Cherie
You just said it out loud.

13:38.12
Jasmin
No, to and the but one person, one person who's listening. um Okay, what about you're defending them a lot. I'm just going to say their schemes did nearly destroy Dorado. Okay.

13:58.87
Cherie
But I would counter to that. They also saved El Dorado and if they hadn't done all of those things and all of the scheming and then all of the saving, Cortez would have found El Dorado and sacked the place.

14:15.23
Jasmin
Oh, shit, I forgot about the Cortez potential sacking.

14:18.71
Cherie
Oh yeah.

14:19.34
Jasmin
Yeah.

14:20.20
Cherie
He was hot on their tail.

14:20.78
Jasmin
Do you know what just popped into my head when you said that? This won't make good um listening. Everyone just turn this off for the next minute. Do you remember in Braveheart where he's like, Wallace sacked York, that little gay king?

14:37.10
Cherie
I'm going to tell you something that you are going to be absolutely um shocked by. And I do not admit this lightly. I've never seen Braveheart.

14:47.14
Jasmin
Oh, my God.

14:51.27
Cherie
I was too young. I'm younger than you and it was not allowed. And then I just never watched it.

14:59.50
Jasmin
Oh, do you know it's not historically accurate and it's what I've been basing a lot of history teaching on?

15:05.75
Cherie
Well, I get all of my history knowledge from, like, fantasy novels.

15:06.03
Jasmin
Stop it wrong.

15:08.91
Cherie
so

15:10.53
Jasmin
Yeah.

15:11.70
Cherie
Yeah.

15:11.55
Jasmin
Well, look, I haven't seen all the Harry Potter movies just while we're confessing.

15:14.92
Cherie
You haven't seen all of the movies.

15:18.32
Jasmin
Oh, see, that's how I felt about the Braveheart thing. Take that.

15:21.86
Cherie
That, yeah, I don't think we're compatible as sisters or friends anymore.

15:26.32
Jasmin
Everyone's listening to us have a big fight on the podcast. Well, we're going to continue this.

15:28.79
Cherie
This is the first fight we've had since we were 12.

15:32.46
Jasmin
Yeah, yeah. ah So, well, ah let's, all right, we'll revert back to what we were talking about, but we will continue this later. Yeah. like okay Okay, that is a very good point.

15:47.19
Jasmin
I forgot. ah They did save it from Cortez. They did sacrifice all their gold in the end after all their terrible intentions. This is a lot like ah the Emperor's New Groove where there's just an arc, you know, where they they start off bad and, yeah, they do improve.

16:00.84
Cherie
Yeah. The character building. Yeah.

16:05.38
Jasmin
um All right, do you want to play a game with me?

16:10.16
Cherie
I always want to play a game with you.

16:12.86
Jasmin
Ooh, all righty, we'll play it again.

16:20.28
Jasmin
It's Duck Duck Goose. Come over to my place.

16:23.79
Cherie
i beg being the goose.

16:27.56
Cherie
Let's

16:27.56
Jasmin
You can't fucking bags being the goose. The person just chooses you to be the goose.

16:30.97
Cherie
play it. um

16:33.04
Jasmin
Oh, right. I'm like. That's not how the game works. I'll fight you. Stop saying stuff about my game that I care a lot about.

16:44.55
Cherie
I'll come over there right now and be a goose all over your house.

16:50.54
Jasmin
yeah I appreciate the subtlety at which you delivered that humorous joke, Sheree. My apologies.

16:57.86
Cherie
sorry. I'll be less subtle in the future.

16:58.38
Jasmin
um

17:02.35
Jasmin
I'm going to do a couple of Moose Marrier boys. They're always fun. ah The first one, Tulio Miguel Chell.

17:10.82
Cherie
We are Moosing Chell. We are Moosing Chell and now...

17:12.86
Jasmin
using Oh, we're moosing her hard.

17:16.30
Cherie
Oh, like, there's no question about it. um But, I mean, you've put me in a really, really difficult position with the other two.

17:28.08
Cherie
Because I don't want to avoid either of them.

17:29.16
Jasmin
Oh.

17:30.25
Cherie
They're both my cartoon husbands.

17:33.48
Jasmin
You, that person on um TLC that's just got two husbands and stuff.

17:41.83
Cherie
He is the father.

17:44.00
Jasmin
Yeah. No, yeah, no. Tulio and Miguel.

17:51.11
Cherie
Yeah.

17:52.24
Jasmin
Tulio seems like the better, like, provider and um he's probably going to share the mental load, isn't he?

17:57.91
Cherie
He's most sensible.

18:02.97
Cherie
Oh, definitely. And he's going to join in with Chell.

18:08.53
Jasmin
He's not as fun. a bit boring.

18:10.82
Cherie
Yeah, that's true. There is. But, I mean, there is, can there be too much fun? Like, I want to be the fun one in the relationship. And if we're both fun, then nothing will ever get done.

18:19.57
Jasmin
yeah

18:22.21
Cherie
That rhymed.

18:24.57
Jasmin
You're always talking about these dishes getting washed and then how you don't want to wash them.

18:29.63
Cherie
don't want to wash the dishes.

18:29.53
Jasmin
This is the same thing as...

18:31.57
Cherie
I cannot say it enough.

18:33.93
Jasmin
you need a dishwasher and you can...

18:34.56
Cherie
It is never a long time.

18:36.82
Jasmin
Still marry Miguel if you want to. Miguel, you what like about Miguel? He's got like this V-shaped shirt and his half his chest is showing and I always think he looks heaps sexy.

18:44.19
Cherie
Oh, yeah. there And he plays the lute.

18:50.16
Jasmin
Oh, yes yeah.

18:52.13
Cherie
That's...

18:51.89
Jasmin
And he does theme music with the lute.

18:54.27
Cherie
He does. And it's hilarious.

18:58.08
Jasmin
All right. I'm going to just make it really, really, really difficult now. I don't know if this will be as fun. Chief Tully. Teco Khan and Cortez.

19:09.15
Cherie
Avoid, avoid, avoid.

19:10.97
Jasmin
Ah, you can't do that. That's why it's so good.

19:14.44
Cherie
evening Okay. All right Let's see. Okay. I'm going to marry chief Tully.

19:22.07
Jasmin
Okay, Chief Tully's gigantic, by the way, listeners. If you haven't seen this movie, he's about 300 kilos and he's always got his nip-nips out.

19:30.59
Cherie
He's got his nip-nips out, but he's a gentle giant and he just seems like a very nice person. So I think you'd have to marry him. And then, I mean, you definitely would moose Cortez because he's got the whole, you know, like watch yeah, that's it.

19:43.83
Jasmin
Yeah. Got that dark brooding energy, you know.

19:49.05
Cherie
And you just avoid, you know, Teko Khan because he's crazy.

19:55.07
Jasmin
o he is crazy. He's not good looking. He's not actually good looking enough to be that crazy. This is the hot to crazy scale, the Barney Stinson's hot to crazy scale, and he's um neither are you hot.

20:01.43
Cherie
Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah. Off the top.

20:06.40
Jasmin
Well, no, he should be he should be sane because he's so ugly.

20:10.91
Cherie
Yeah.

20:12.49
Jasmin
Anyway, it doesn't matter. um Yeah, look, I'm the same. I think I might be the same. um Yep, happy to throw Cortez a bone.

20:19.58
Cherie
You like some nip-nips too. Okay.

20:24.36
Cherie
Or is he throwing you a bone?

20:29.77
Cherie
it

20:30.21
Jasmin
Ah, the old joke about having sex with an ancient Spanish conquistador.

20:35.34
Cherie
Taylor's oldest time.

20:35.89
Jasmin
Can't get enough of Yeah, right, right. Okay, amazing. Well, my understanding is that you've got two mooses and a lie for me. Is that correct?

20:47.13
Cherie
That is correct. And I think...

20:49.12
Jasmin
All right. with

20:52.55
Jasmin
Say that again.

20:54.28
Cherie
Oh, it wasn't important. It's fine. I've got two misses in a life.

20:56.97
Jasmin
well, fuck you then. No, no, fuck you then.

21:06.78
Cherie
Okay.

21:06.83
Jasmin
My finger's always hovering over that button.

21:10.03
Cherie
He's just like ready to play at any time.

21:13.31
Jasmin
You're interrupting my button pressing.

21:15.25
Cherie
my God, you are the rock cat, as it turns out.

21:15.20
Jasmin
All right.

21:19.67
Cherie
Like you, he was you all along.

21:20.96
Jasmin
I really, I don't, I don't want this wrong again. just, I'm so bummed out that first time when I fucked it up so badly because on reflection, I realize how stupid I am, but not as stupid as I've been making like a pop quiz podcast.

21:36.71
Jasmin
And this is something that I said in it.

21:37.38
Cherie
Thank you.

21:38.93
Jasmin
Okay. It wasn't a joke. I genuinely fucking said, was like, So it's for kids. And I was like, the sea otter. No, which animal has the thickest fur of enemy any animal in the animal kingdom?

21:54.84
Jasmin
And the answer was the sea otter. I was like, the sea otter has the thickest fur in the pond, lake, ocean? Where does the sea otter live?

22:06.63
Cherie
What colour is the red fire engine, Peter? I

22:15.50
Cherie
but was all geared up to like say, oh, that's not stupid. Like we all say crazy things. Don't worry about it. But know, I can't even.

22:27.36
Jasmin
Thanks for trying.

22:31.23
Cherie
You just, you didn't give me anything to work with. them just

22:37.10
Jasmin
Yeah, I shouldn't tell anyone this. It should just die with me, that terrible secret. But no, that's the thing that happens.

22:43.53
Cherie
And now it's going to live forever. You've recorded it.

22:46.31
Jasmin
I know, I know. Might as well use it for enjoyment of others, you know, if it's got to be sitting there forever in the back of my mind, just constantly thinking about it.

22:55.36
Cherie
just going to own it. I love it.

22:57.90
Jasmin
I could have just cut it, couldn't I? I could have edited it and cut it and I was like, yeah,

23:01.10
Cherie
Did you keep it in the pop quiz?

23:04.76
Jasmin
the laziness went out. I'm also lazy.

23:10.60
Cherie
That's hilarious. yeah

23:13.95
Jasmin
Plus I published it

23:18.55
Cherie
hello

23:21.88
Cherie
and did they look at you and like

23:24.83
Jasmin
they're no smarter than me. Come on, get give me. and All right, I'm um going into like full focus mode. Hit me.

23:36.42
Cherie
okay that's it two truths and a lie so sorry in the Spanish version of the film Miguel and Tulio's voices were dubbed by Antonio Banderas And Jose Luis Gil, right? That's number one.

23:52.05
Cherie
ah Number two, animators slipped in a hidden DreamWorks moon logo during the dice, the gambling scene with the dice.

23:52.27
Jasmin
Mm-hmm.

24:02.37
Cherie
It flashes for a split second when the dice roll across the table. And number three, Chell was originally designed to be an older high priestess character, but test audiences preferred a younger love interest.

24:15.79
Cherie
So she was redesigned midway through the production.

24:21.22
Jasmin
yeah How's anyone supposed to?

24:26.80
Cherie
i I'll be honest. I was like, I hit up chat GPT on this one and I said, make it hard. Yeah.

24:37.25
Jasmin
You're like, I want her to look as foolish as possible.

24:42.63
Cherie
Which is my last.

24:42.56
Jasmin
And then you didn't realise I was already going to look so foolish right before the segment.

24:43.52
Cherie
Yeah, okay. Alright, okay.

24:47.57
Jasmin
You're like, too foolish, too foolish, we've gone too far. um Okay, I just think Antonio Banderas, too expensive for just a dubbing, you know, when the main market is the you American audiences.

25:05.89
Cherie
yeah okay

25:06.41
Jasmin
So I'm sus on that one.

25:08.23
Cherie
yeah like okay

25:09.42
Jasmin
I've never seen the but he does do a lot of voiceovers. He does do a lot of voiceovers. Yeah, that's a thing.

25:16.18
Cherie
That's it. Question yourself.

25:17.45
Jasmin
um the The moon flashing up, fuck, I never saw it, if that's true, but I'm not observant. Like, for example, in Bluey they hide long dogs around the place in, like, every episode.

25:28.07
Jasmin
I've never found one. i always look for them. I can't find them. It's a kids' show

25:34.90
Cherie
Yep.

25:34.68
Jasmin
Kids can find them.

25:36.00
Cherie
I feel that pain. I'm the same. I don't see anything. Could be right in front of myself.

25:39.54
Jasmin
Yeah. Yep. I don't see red flags in men. Like, it's just...

25:46.36
Cherie
They're like poking you up the nostril with their red flag.

25:48.85
Jasmin
I know.

25:49.53
Cherie
Like, my God.

25:52.07
Jasmin
ah Arguably I'm actually pushing them away actively, like just trying to make them into green flags. Like it'll be fine, i'll be fine.

25:57.98
Cherie
be

25:58.53
Jasmin
I'll start to dress this gigantic red flag that I can clearly see.

26:02.91
Cherie
but

26:03.11
Jasmin
um Okay. And then what was the last one was um the, what was it? I can't even remember.

26:10.29
Cherie
So Chell was originally designed to be an older high priestess character, but she was redesigned midway through the production.

26:12.70
Jasmin
Right.

26:19.27
Jasmin
I mean, why would they have an older person who was going to be a love interest? Did they change the whole storyline?

26:26.69
Cherie
It would be a big change.

26:27.01
Jasmin
You can't answer.

26:28.26
Cherie
I can't answer. can't tell you.

26:31.14
Jasmin
All right, I'm going to say that's the lie. The Chell thing is the lie.

26:34.69
Cherie
Are you going to lock it in?

26:36.77
Jasmin
I'm going to lock it in Yes, Eddie.

26:41.49
Cherie
Okay, alright. You are wrong. I'm sorry.

26:45.47
Jasmin
The fuck?

26:46.84
Cherie
You should have gone with your instinct.

26:46.61
Jasmin
Oh!

26:49.83
Cherie
You should have gone with your instinct.

26:50.79
Jasmin
Banderas is too expensive?

26:51.20
Cherie
Benderis is too expensive. You're right.

26:55.99
Jasmin
All right. I don't feel too badly then.

26:58.29
Cherie
Yeah, you were like, we might as well count it as basically a win because you did say you were sus on that one.

26:58.53
Jasmin
It's not as bad as. I did.

27:03.79
Cherie
Okay.

27:04.95
Jasmin
was really hoping that um that moose sound would be more anguished.

27:11.80
Cherie
I think you're like, you're walking the line between anguished and aroused and I think you've just got right

27:11.93
Jasmin
It was almost

27:16.74
Jasmin
It was like he did a little fart or something and he was relieved. yeah His belly feels better now.

27:22.90
Cherie
It's like one of those cows that you see laying on its side because it's got the trapped wind so bad they have to like put a hole in its stomach Have seen that?

27:30.30
Jasmin
Yes.

27:31.63
Cherie
It's gross It's gross You can't look away

27:31.64
Jasmin
How fucked are those videos? It's so bad. And then you watch it all.

27:38.20
Jasmin
I feel like you can almost smell it, even though it's a video.

27:41.61
Cherie
100%. Yeah.

27:43.58
Jasmin
yeah

27:44.28
Cherie
You can smell it. You can taste it. it's It doesn't ever escape.

27:50.37
Jasmin
Our new fear unlocked. Accidentally tasting cow trap wind fart whilst watching Facebook Reels.

27:58.27
Cherie
if for

27:58.48
Jasmin
Didn't

28:00.37
Cherie
It's a niche fear, but we tapped into it. Yeah.

28:05.13
Jasmin
Yeah, I'm actually surprised that this has never come up sooner for me to be afraid of.

28:10.10
Cherie
I have.

28:09.89
Jasmin
Okay.

28:12.89
Jasmin
Well, um we also had last episode we came up with to moose or not to moose because I had just acted like an evil lunatic for just a tiny couple of seconds. If you want to know what that was about, you have to watch you have to listen episode two.

28:34.83
Jasmin
I think Cherie has had her own ethical conundrum this week.

28:39.01
Cherie
have

28:39.12
Jasmin
ah Would you hang on? Is now a good time for that?

28:42.69
Cherie
Yeah, now's a good time for that. Why not?

28:45.68
Jasmin
Alrighty.

28:46.79
Cherie
All right.

28:50.83
Jasmin
do Hit me.

28:51.38
Cherie
a

28:51.39
Jasmin
What happened?

28:53.12
Cherie
So, now I'm just going to preface this by saying that my daughter is... She's a bit cheeky. She's generally a pretty good kid.

29:05.48
Cherie
She's a bit cheeky and she's not really seeing eye to eye with her teacher at the minute. um Her teacher has said a few things that were a little bit out of pocket, a little bit off the wall, and my daughter's not having any of it.

29:19.27
Cherie
So

29:21.21
Jasmin
Thank you.

29:22.18
Cherie
it's it's been brought to my attention but one of the other kids in the class is essentially training her like a monkey. I don't know if he's like being a supportive friend or if he's like training to be a zookeeper. I'm not really sure what's going on.

29:42.43
Cherie
um But apparently he's told her that she can have a banana. He'll bring her a banana to school the next day if she's nice to the teacher.

29:54.38
Cherie
Like he's literally pulling out the but but the the positive behaviour reinforcement. um And I'm like, it's very confusing to me too because she was really excited about the prospect of this banana.

30:01.92
Jasmin
With bananas.

30:11.99
Jasmin
Oh, she's going to get a banana. No, see, he was right. He nailed it.

30:15.08
Cherie
He absolutely nailed it on the head.

30:15.12
Jasmin
He's like, what can I give her that?

30:17.08
Cherie
But now I'm like, have I not given her enough bananas in her life? right I buy bananas. I'm so confused. She's never that excited when deliver a banana.

30:30.75
Cherie
have no idea.

30:30.86
Jasmin
So there's a couple of issues here

30:31.39
Cherie
Yeah,

30:32.90
Jasmin
There's a couple of serious issues here.

30:34.94
Cherie
or yeah.

30:35.25
Jasmin
listeners don't know that Shuri's daughter has kind of darker coloured skin.

30:44.15
Cherie
a bit of an undertone to the whole situation.

30:48.89
Jasmin
I mean, is her little friend ah little racist friend? Why is he doing that? Does he think he's like, oh, doesn't sit very well.

31:02.10
Cherie
I have no idea. It just, yeah, it's it's a bit of a tough one because I think he's actually the sweetest kid in the whole world. He's so adorable. He's like half the size of her and he just is in love with her Adorable. But, um yeah, also is that side to it.

31:22.01
Cherie
And it's like,

31:22.97
Jasmin
Maybe he's just looking around him and just seeing anything that's near him that he can offer. Like, please be nice to the teacher. I'll give you this banana. And it was just really unfortunate that it happened to be a banana. Could have been an apple, you know.

31:35.07
Cherie
um I also wonder, like, how badly is she getting into it with her teacher?

31:41.09
Jasmin
Yeah.

31:41.44
Cherie
He feels the need to go in.

31:41.99
Jasmin
People have to bribe her with fruit. Yeah.

31:44.49
Cherie
Yeah. I mean, and does she look like does she look like she's got scurvy or something? Like, was he, he was, like, concerned about her vitamin intake?

31:51.80
Jasmin
yeah

31:56.55
Cherie
There's so much going on.

31:56.49
Jasmin
yeah I, she's probably all day next to him, fuck, cramp, cramp, like all day, every day.

32:03.77
Cherie
He just wants to up that position.

32:04.09
Jasmin
He's like, all her potassium levels.

32:09.22
Cherie
Yeah. Yeah. She's the she's she's a cramping a cramping, badly behaved, dark child. When I say dark, I mean she has a really dark sense of humour, which we talked about before we started recording.

32:18.46
Jasmin
Oh.

32:24.18
Jasmin
Oh, yeah.

32:27.13
Cherie
And this was a throwback to that, but no none of you heard us say that.

32:27.83
Jasmin
Yeah.

32:31.74
Cherie
So...

32:31.91
Jasmin
Oh, yeah, yeah.

32:33.35
Cherie
That's really awkward. Oh my God.

32:34.65
Jasmin
yeah Yeah, no, they think you mean the other thing, which she also is.

32:38.50
Cherie
Yeah. I just like in myself become an ethical conundrum.

32:41.10
Jasmin
Yeah, yeah, we're like, how we talk about this?

32:50.20
Cherie
This is, yeah, this is on way off track from, from what the original plan was. Oh my goodness.

32:58.16
Jasmin
ah Well, I think if your children can be bribed with fruit, so much the better because mine want money. And if I could give them bananas, that nothing would make me happier. Nothing, literally nothing.

33:11.60
Cherie
yeah well feel that same like I feel like if she would do things for me for fruit that would be great

33:11.54
Jasmin
That's all I want in the world, to be able to bribe my kids with fruit.

33:16.60
Jasmin
yeah you

33:22.26
Jasmin
Oh, it doesn't extend to you. You couldn't give her a banana.

33:24.00
Cherie
no I have no power I'm like I'm like the royal family I have status I have no power laughing

33:26.01
Jasmin
I don't think it's about the bananas.

33:35.51
Jasmin
You have a title, mum.

33:36.35
Cherie
Like, yeah, I have a title. I'm mum and that's as far as anything goes. And, um, but yeah, apparently

33:44.35
Jasmin
Your subjects should pay for you to live.

33:48.16
Cherie
going to start calling them my subjects from now on.

33:52.37
Jasmin
Yeah. or they should like run you into the side of a tunnel.

33:57.16
Cherie
That is something that does happen in, uh, in royal families that, that has been known to happen.

33:57.11
Jasmin
In a car.

34:01.16
Cherie
Yeah. Yeah.

34:02.11
Jasmin
Oh, I made myself sad now. All right, we're just going to move on.

34:05.46
Cherie
This got really dark.

34:05.57
Jasmin
I thought I could do a risque joke, but I love Diana so much, so now I can't go through with it.

34:12.01
Cherie
This started out as like just a funny thing about zookeeping and it it derailed very quickly.

34:20.50
Jasmin
I think I took it in a bad direction. I can't help myself. I'm loose. I'm a loose unit. I'm not a moose today. It's a loose day today for me. Well, we have to wrap up whether or not we're deciding that Miguel and Tulio, no, I'm sorry, we haven't talked enough about how fucking good Elton John's music was in it.

34:39.76
Jasmin
I might just sing a rendition of it now if everyone's into that.

34:42.89
Cherie
Please do. I mean, I'm not going to join in but I would love to hear you. so strong

34:48.13
Jasmin
No, i won' I won't wreck it. No one will go listen to it because, you know, my take on it won't be very good. But it's just like the music is like relaxing. It feels amazing. It feels just so peaceful.

35:01.87
Jasmin
Does that make sense?

35:03.31
Cherie
Yes. And it also just puts you in a good mood. It's like also really uplifting.

35:09.94
Jasmin
Yeah.

35:11.19
Cherie
Yeah, it's like the perfect combination of relaxing and uplifting and cool and like I would listen to it in my car.

35:11.50
Jasmin
Yes.

35:17.04
Jasmin
inspiring and it's yeah it's so beautiful it's such a beautiful movie with with sex lots of sex in the kids movie

35:27.29
Cherie
That's the important part. Well, there's a few quotes as well that I think we haven't we haven't even talked about. but Like this movie has some quotes that are hilarious.

35:36.73
Jasmin
oh we use them all the time okay

35:39.82
Cherie
I think we only mentioned We use them all the time in conversation.

35:44.72
Jasmin
I'm just going to immediately throw one up and and can you just, if you're going to say one word, you and me say it at the same time, see if we're thinking about the same thing. Ready? One, two, three, pry bar.

35:54.59
Cherie
Stars.

35:55.20
Jasmin
What did you say?

35:57.21
Cherie
What was yours?

35:57.46
Jasmin
No.

36:00.48
Jasmin
No, I was thinking.

36:02.87
Cherie
Stars. He's like, the stars are not in position. you Like he said, stars. Can't do it. Not to do it.

36:10.97
Jasmin
Can't do it. Not today.

36:12.84
Cherie
It's

36:14.41
Jasmin
pry bar. It's not pry bar.

36:17.59
Cherie
a pry bar! Well, it's not a pry bar.

36:22.97
Jasmin
I say that every fucking day. Every day. If someone says like, oh, shit.

36:26.72
Cherie
Oh.

36:30.65
Jasmin
Oh, no. Hang on.

36:34.40
Cherie
Yes.

36:35.25
Jasmin
Yeah, so the, I don't know, every time something doesn't go as planned, I go, well, it's not a pry bar and the kids don't know what I'm talking about.

36:45.62
Jasmin
And then that inevitably leads to the story of when I was on a cruise ship and... he You were there.

36:53.51
Cherie
Yep.

36:53.49
Jasmin
And someone, this woman that didn't feel like walking the length of the ship to get some bingo tickets, she gave me her like card to go buy her bingo tickets.

37:05.15
Jasmin
So I went there and they were like, um your name's not, ill just say Janine. And I was like, ah no, yes, I'm definitely Janine. She was like, you're not Janine. was like, no, I am Janine.

37:18.35
Jasmin
She goes, really? And she just turns the screen around and Janine's face there and she weighs maybe 100 kilos more than me.

37:26.68
Cherie
Which

37:27.53
Jasmin
And I was like, well, in my defense, I did not know you would have a photo.

37:34.34
Cherie
is the best quote of the whole crew................

37:38.25
Jasmin
I always think of that. Well, it's not a pry bar. It's the same sort of thing. All right. Well, so I think, look, Tulio and Miguel ah better than Tecukhan.

37:49.26
Jasmin
They, at the end of the day, didn't genuinely try and kill anyone. They didn't try to do the human sacrifices. They saved the human sacrifices at the expense of the gold that they wanted. They protected the city from Cortez.

38:01.74
Jasmin
They fucked Shell's brains out.

38:03.81
Cherie
And a saitha.

38:03.88
Jasmin
I mean, we couldn't really ask that. Yeah, saved her from boredom and safety. i don't know.

38:08.99
Cherie
And gold.

38:09.35
Jasmin
But and gold.

38:09.99
Cherie
and gold

38:13.28
Jasmin
um

38:14.17
Cherie
had a bad

38:14.34
Jasmin
Yeah, I think we haven't actually come out yet with a ah villain. i mean, we've only done two really, but we haven't come out with a villain who's actually not a villain.

38:25.09
Jasmin
they They turn out to be the villain. The hero turns out to be the hero. Why am I questioning the brilliance of Disney, that old Nazi guy that made really good movies?

38:34.14
Cherie
He knew villains.

38:34.36
Jasmin
Why am I doing that?

38:35.50
Cherie
or He was one. He was like... He writes a good villain. Who knew?

38:41.90
Jasmin
Yeah. All right. Well, that is it from us today. ah Thanks for joining me on the pod, Cherie.

38:48.92
Cherie
Thanks for having me again, Jasmine.

38:51.41
Jasmin
Anytime, anytime, except not for another week. No time between now and the next one that we do in a week.

38:59.28
Cherie
Can we still play Duck, Duck, Goose at your place?

39:02.63
Jasmin
Ooh.

39:05.01
Jasmin
yeah

39:07.10
Cherie
You're like, no.

39:07.09
Jasmin
Yes, I'm going to allow it.

39:09.97
Cherie
Okay, good.

39:10.42
Jasmin
I'm going to allow it. Catch you next time.

39:13.76
Cherie
Bye!