Draw Me Like One Of Your French Mooses

History meets hysteria as Jasmin and Cherie steer straight into the iceberg of absurdity. Expect dramatic monologues, fake French accents, and moose-based maritime trivia that would make James Cameron weep. Love? Tragedy? Lifeboats? This episode’s got it all — except dignity.

Transcript

00:25.55
Jasmin
Hello everybody, back again, assaulting your ears and hopefully not ah other senses, i don't know how we would do that. so

00:35.20
Cherie
Or hopefully there are other senses.

00:37.92
Jasmin
o I just, I said to you just before we started, I was like, okay, are you ready? I'm going to start recording and you were like, yes, and I pressed record and it times down three, two, one, and I was like, I don't have any water.

00:49.52
Jasmin
And now like I've never felt drier, I'm just like, I feel like,

00:53.58
Cherie
That episode is sponsored.

00:53.65
Jasmin
Water, water everywhere, so let's all take a drink.

01:03.68
Jasmin
we are doing and not a Disney movie today but once, but a movie that Sheree and I know very well, ah would know all the words to, et cetera, have probably some funny stuff that we've thought about over the years, and that movie is called Titanic. Titanic.

01:23.22
Cherie
Yes.

01:23.45
Jasmin
I thought Sheree might weigh in, but she didn't just get anything.

01:27.13
Cherie
Well, I sort of thought you said it all. Yeah, totally.

01:30.27
Jasmin
I do suppose so. And you know what? I made this run sheet, but it doesn't really talk about the villain hero dynamic. So I'm going to obviously come up with that on the fly. It's a fairly obvious one.

01:40.68
Cherie
ah

01:40.68
Jasmin
um

01:41.22
Cherie
This time you have a little bit of a bias. um I don't know if you can really decide if the villain is a bad guy or not. You literally named your child after

01:51.01
Jasmin
My son's name is Caledon after Caledon Hockley, who is the dude off the Titanic.

01:52.98
Cherie
Yes.

01:56.02
Cherie
Yeah.

01:57.61
Jasmin
But he beat her up. Like, I do think he's the villain. um

02:02.70
Cherie
Look, he's definitely the villain. a little white cracker.

02:05.06
Jasmin
yeah I got confused about who the villain is.

02:07.17
Cherie
I'm going call my phone the window.

02:07.50
Jasmin
And, like, who I say do you think I would say, like, Jack is the villain, like, took her away from her cushy life? She seemed to want to go.

02:15.27
Cherie
Well, yeah, no, she definitely, we know who the villain is. This one's cut and dry. We can probably actually just finish now.

02:21.93
Jasmin
Oh, the mum.

02:24.19
Cherie
Oh, the mum definitely. ah Well, look, it's a bit more nuanced with the mum, I guess, but um she wasn't great, was she? but and

02:33.79
Jasmin
Well, we're doing it again. We're sort of like, well, it was abuse putting all that, you know, pressure on her child's shoulders, but it was appropriate for the time and therefore not abuse.

02:45.03
Cherie
I hope to people give me that level of grace.

02:45.25
Jasmin
I'm sure we've said this a few times.

02:49.03
Cherie
You know, when future historians study what my children grew up to do because I turned them into monsters.

02:49.57
Jasmin
Yeah.

02:55.63
Jasmin
Yeah.

02:56.12
Cherie
this

02:57.18
Jasmin
Yeah. Oh, Jasmine grew up in the 80s, so, you know, how they were then. and Yes, yes, yes, that's right. That's how we were. Can't help it. We're drinking out hoses and stuff. Who knows what we got out of that hose?

03:08.72
Jasmin
Brain-eating bacteria. Who knows? um So the run sheet that I put together, again, has come up with all this funny stuff, and the first time it's first thing it says, Jasmine welcomes listeners aboard the ah RMS Moosanic. Yeah.

03:25.72
Cherie
What a stupid name for a boat.

03:29.14
Jasmin
And it says, Cherie does the safety briefing and says, in the event of emotional damage, please grab a flotation device or a snack.

03:38.75
Cherie
Or both. You got two hands.

03:40.87
Jasmin
I know, right? I think it's, yeah, ever if you're in any situation, like I remember when Mariah split her head open and I had to take her to the hospital

03:42.65
Cherie
listen to

03:50.78
Jasmin
That would have been a great moment to be like, oh, grab a snack. You don't know how long you're going to be there. But I didn't grab anything, even my wallet. And I got to the hospital and I said to the lady, like, oh, you know, my daughter split her head, opens blood everywhere. She's like, do you have your Medicare card? And I'm like, no, but it's probably on the system. She goes, I'm looking at the system.

04:07.12
Jasmin
This is the system. And I need your Medicare card. I'm like, oh, I'm really sorry, but I didn't bring it.

04:10.47
Cherie
ah couldn

04:13.10
Jasmin
Like, she split her head open. I just jumped in the car.

04:14.47
Cherie
time

04:14.66
Jasmin
She goes, well, next time stop to get your wallet.

04:17.28
Cherie
Oh, wow.

04:17.17
Jasmin
Hey.

04:18.43
Cherie
Don't we, like, address the head trauma first and then worry about admin later?

04:21.95
Jasmin
No, no triage assessed all of the blood running down my arms is maybe not that big of a deal.

04:23.15
Cherie
That's wild.

04:28.34
Jasmin
Sorry if anybody's squeamish out there, but I'm just looking at her like, oh, i yeah, that's true.

04:29.68
Cherie
Head wounds bleed a lot.

04:35.80
Jasmin
and And you know what?

04:36.14
Cherie
Yes.

04:36.40
Jasmin
They just took straight in, glued it up and kicked her out again. And it was the shortest time I've ever been there. We didn't need a snack. Yeah, it was great.

04:42.20
Cherie
Oh yeah, that's wonderful. didn't need a snack, but you did need a flotation device or a Medicare card.

04:48.13
Jasmin
Um, emotional flotation device. Had I have needed a snack, there is vending machines there that don't work, do take your money, but don't work. And if they do work, great, but the snack cost you about $6. Oh,

05:00.38
Cherie
Oh, well, have you met that concierge guy that hangs around at the hospital? He works there. He's supposed to be there, but he full on brings you coffee and stuff to the waiting room there.

05:05.20
Jasmin
no.

05:10.01
Cherie
He's very lovely. Shout out to Nathan.

05:12.02
Jasmin
I must not have been there. You know too much about the emergency room waiting room. Yeah.

05:18.69
Cherie
Yes, unfortunately. have been there. I have been there my fair share.

05:25.54
Jasmin
And then, okay, so then the run sheets come up with a segment which is to moose or not to moose, which is one of our games. But it's given us the ethical conundrum, but it just wildly does not make sense. So if you were on the Titanic and there was one life jacket left, would you give it to someone else or fake a fainting episode and keep it?

05:44.97
Jasmin
I think the ruse is going to be up when you're going down with the ship in your flotation device and someone just takes it off you.

05:51.59
Cherie
and on left yeah

05:53.12
Jasmin
don't think they've accounted for hysteria. People just like punching each other in the face to get them out of their way to try and stay alive. Like

06:04.36
Cherie
That woman's hysterical. Quick, somebody finger her.

06:08.68
Jasmin
what? Wait, what?

06:10.43
Cherie
but

06:10.66
Jasmin
What?

06:13.07
Cherie
That's how they used to treat hysteria in women.

06:15.97
Jasmin
Oh, that's right. The doctor used to give her an orgasm and women used to line up for treatment.

06:22.14
Cherie
yeah That connection was clear in my

06:27.07
Jasmin
I know. I've just seen that as a Facebook thing. Is that real? Have you actually checked your facts on that or did someone make it up on Facebook?

06:33.01
Cherie
They made a whole movie about it. It's a real thing that happened.

06:37.65
Jasmin
Oh, my gosh. I bet you in medical school they have to have this conversation with people now like, yes, it has an evidence base behind it, but we don't use that practice anymore.

06:49.54
Cherie
If a woman comes in and she's hysterical, don't tell her she's hysterical.

06:49.67
Jasmin
You'll get in trouble.

06:54.15
Jasmin
Yeah, and what but what if she's asking for that treatment? What if that's one that she wants to try?

07:00.67
Cherie
ah

07:01.36
Jasmin
Stop trying to find grey areas to finger women. Most of our clients are fugly. You won't want to finger them once they're in the room. Okay, I've said finger them too many times. This is up there with vagina for me. I'm just like, oh i don't want to say that.

07:14.03
Jasmin
don't want to say those words. um Okay, so i I think it's a stupid conundrum and obviously you'd either gallantly give it to someone else or you'd punch them in the face and keep it, but you wouldn't faint.

07:29.95
Cherie
I think I would give it to the other person um because I would be like embarrassed to not give it to them. People would be looking at me like, and

07:39.67
Jasmin
The people-pleasing has gone too far. You'll die.

07:43.27
Cherie
yeah, like you just, no, I'd be too embarrassed to die as well. So that's, I'm fine. I actually am immortal. As long as someone's always with me, i will not die. I'm too embarrassed. I don't want cause a fuss. so I'll just keep living forever.

08:00.58
Cherie
I'm fine.

08:01.21
Jasmin
Well, if you were in Rose's situation, Jack died right there next to her. So... Could you then die? Like, oh, finally, he's dead. Now I can die.

08:10.88
Cherie
Oh, well, there were other people floating around. with are they alive?

08:14.02
Jasmin
i mean, I mean, if ah if the old ladies did believe six out of, what did she say? 2,200 people or something? 2,000 people? What was the numbers? 84?

08:24.71
Cherie
Well, we it's 84 years.

08:24.52
Jasmin
eighty four No. Oh, my God, I've forgotten that.

08:29.69
Jasmin
Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, my phone just rang.

08:31.51
Cherie
Yeah, 1,200? I feel like it was 1,200, but maybe it was less.

08:32.45
Jasmin
Okay.

08:35.12
Cherie
Maybe it was more, I mean. i don't know.

08:36.95
Jasmin
I feel like she said there were 12 boats floating nearby and only one came back.

08:40.24
Cherie
Yeah. That's right, yeah.

08:42.32
Jasmin
One. and then six were pulled from the water that night. Six out of 1,800. Is it 1,800? Am I right?

08:51.85
Cherie
Yeah, you might be right.

08:54.04
Jasmin
Ah, you don't know.

08:54.79
Cherie
what You might be right.

08:55.11
Jasmin
All right, well, we're going to play. Okay, we've decided you you wouldn't die. that's a very That's a superpower that you want to have. As long as you and you're near a person, you won't because too embarrassed.

09:03.63
Cherie
Superpower that do have.

09:04.70
Jasmin
Can we... Can we rip through Moose, Marry, Avoid pretty fast?

09:08.98
Cherie
Yes, let's do it.

09:15.38
Jasmin
I mean, they're obvious. Jack Dawson, Rose DeWitt Bucater. I don't know. I didn't tell anybody what happened in this movie.

09:23.77
Cherie
Oh, you forgot your rundown.

09:24.15
Jasmin
didn't do my summary.

09:25.93
Cherie
We just assumed.

09:26.71
Jasmin
have a summary.

09:27.01
Cherie
Would you like to quickly tell everyone?

09:30.38
Jasmin
Yes, okay, in the movie The Titanic, there's a big-ass boat, biggest one of that time period.

09:31.63
Cherie
right.

09:37.56
Jasmin
Everyone's crapping on about this boat's unsinkable. You you can't sink it except for Mr Andrews who said it is unsinkable. She's made of iron, sir, and I assure you she can't. No, he said she is sinkable, not unsinkable.

09:49.68
Jasmin
And then ah it did sink because it hit an iceberg. But in the movie, this rich chick is miserable with her rich life and her rich fiancé. She meets a homeless drifter who sort of got onto the ship by nefarious means and then She, like, leaves her life to run off with this dude but steals the guy's diamond.

10:14.12
Jasmin
And actually here's a question that I have. The insurance company paid that diamond out. Had she not thrown it overboard as an old lady and it came to light that that diamond still exists, who owns it?

10:26.42
Jasmin
Does the insurance company own it for paying out that money at the time? Do you give it back to Cal? Does she own it because she had possession of it the whole time? Who owns that diamond? Do the guys who were searching for it on the boat and found it, do they get to find it?

10:34.23
Cherie
well so

10:37.84
Cherie
Is the insurance company still in business? Like that same company that would have paid it out? It's been 84 years.

10:43.94
Jasmin
I mean, even if it's not. Even if it's not and they find out that this thing's back and their company, i mean, that'll get them back in business.

10:51.21
Cherie
Well, yeah, that's true. I still come from the list and just didn't give it to the guys.

10:53.21
Jasmin
Like, even if...

10:55.51
Cherie
His whole life's work. And she's like, I'm just going to throw it overboard.

11:00.33
Jasmin
But even if they found it, would they get to keep it? It's been paid out under insurance.

11:04.93
Cherie
Yeah, but at least they get, like, the the props for having found it.

11:11.27
Jasmin
don't think they're wearing it props.

11:11.70
Cherie
And not make money out of it.

11:12.23
Jasmin
Okay.

11:12.84
Cherie
I would... ah

11:14.70
Jasmin
I feel like I'm in for money. But all right. um

11:20.68
Jasmin
What was I doing? To moose or not to moose? No, no.

11:22.74
Cherie
okay

11:23.20
Jasmin
Moose marry avoid. Okay. Jack Rose or Cal. To me, this seems fairly straightforward, but who would you moose marry or a avoid?

11:33.02
Cherie
i would definitely marry Jack. I would definitely moose Cal and I would avoid Rose.

11:43.78
Cherie
Easy. Easy choice.

11:46.02
Jasmin
get Does Cal, can you have rules like you can't talk and stuff while while we do this?

11:50.47
Cherie
No, he has to talk.

11:52.88
Jasmin
Because if he's fancy, because it's Billy Zane.

11:55.15
Cherie
It's Billy Zane. he's He's just like so attractive And the way that he talks is part of that.

12:01.40
Jasmin
He's pretty hot.

12:03.99
Cherie
He's got this demeanour, this kind of the bad guy sort of thing.

12:09.53
Jasmin
Yeah, yeah, we like a bad guy. This says, each host must defend their choices and loser must say, draw me like one of your French mooses.

12:20.79
Jasmin
So get ready to say that. ah Look, yeah, what was Rose bringing to the table? She seemed stressful, like a difficult chick, and she can't spit.

12:30.73
Cherie
you

12:34.57
Cherie
Well, she can now. She learned.

12:37.33
Jasmin
Hmm.

12:38.01
Cherie
she She took a lesson in spitting, so...

12:38.22
Jasmin
but Jack's so poor. Honestly, I think I'd avoid Rose, Moose, Jack and Marikel.

12:47.26
Cherie
Well, there is something to that. I didn't consider the money aspect of it.

12:53.89
Jasmin
Okay, put the money back in.

12:56.06
Cherie
But he, like, he also did... abuse her and like smash shit up and yeah. I don't know.

13:05.11
Jasmin
She was stepping out of line, though. I wouldn't have stepped out of line. I would have been like, thank you for my comfortable life. Is there any other way I can be your servant?

13:14.10
Cherie
Yeah, that's true.

13:15.28
Jasmin
Whereas she was like, ugh, you've given me all this and I'm just going to cheat on you with that guy from third class. It's a whole embarrassment. I don't know. Like, he didn't actually hit her. oh no, did.

13:25.57
Jasmin
He slapped her across the face.

13:26.75
Cherie
he did.

13:27.68
Jasmin
Oh, no, I can't support that. I'm sorry. I thought he just flipped a table, which is also bad.

13:30.35
Cherie
ah and he like slipp He flipped the table, which was like really bad, and then he slapped her across face. And then she was like, I'm sorry, Trudy.

13:37.01
Jasmin
Yeah.

13:40.44
Cherie
And she went into the whole, um you know, the whole thing.

13:41.42
Jasmin
Yes. In a, like, caretaking, like, it wasn't that bad.

13:45.42
Cherie
Yeah. It was terrible.

13:46.21
Jasmin
Keep up appearances. I'm sorry to all the women listening. No, I take everything I just said back. No, I don't support that at all. It's very bad. It should never have happened. But, yeah, I stand also by my choice that I'd marry him for the money and just just hope he doesn't smack me around.

14:00.59
Cherie
ah You would choose mine. You would choose mine. That's fair. That's a valid choice.

14:06.83
Jasmin
ah Who loses that? Anyone?

14:11.04
Cherie
Do you lose in that game?

14:12.88
Jasmin
Well, it just says we've got to defend our choices and the loser must say draw me like one of your French mooses. But now I've said it twice, so I suppose I'm a loser.

14:21.89
Cherie
And I've already drawn you like one of my French mooses.

14:24.40
Jasmin
Yeah, that's right. Yeah, so there's no need to tell you again again and again.

14:27.29
Cherie
even I got on it the first time.

14:30.62
Jasmin
Okay. ah In that case, we'll go for our next game and then we'll have a new one. Ready for that?

14:36.73
Cherie
Yes, I'm ready.

14:45.79
Jasmin
So it's Two Mooses and a Lie.

14:52.62
Cherie
Yes.

14:53.91
Jasmin
And I've just got to go to because I keep it secret so Cherie can't see it.

14:58.42
Cherie
I don't think i'll I'll do as well this time as I did last time.

15:02.65
Jasmin
I feel like it's fine.

15:04.86
Cherie
It might be the week that you get me.

15:07.04
Jasmin
ah put i didn't put this. It's not very hard, I don't think. Okay, there were four smokestacks on the Titanic but only three worked. The ship's pool is still full of water.

15:20.66
Jasmin
So mean. The captain went down with the ship while wearing hat.

15:27.59
Cherie
Well, the first one is a lie.

15:33.01
Jasmin
A top hat, sorry, while wearing a top hat.

15:34.81
Cherie
Oh, while wearing a top hat. Why would a captain wear a top hat?

15:37.75
Jasmin
I know. was like, I'm going to take top out because it makes it too obvious. But that's the answer. So he must have been wearing a captain's hat.

15:44.04
Cherie
Oh, he's wearing a captain's hat. No, that's definitely true. A top hat? Well, the last one's a lie then. Why did the... most snacks does not work. That's confusing.

15:54.82
Jasmin
ah I feel like I've let everybody down. There was no challenge whatsoever in that. Can I give you another one?

16:04.24
Cherie
An electric horse. Okay.

16:06.53
Jasmin
I the most i haven't read pre-read this. I've just generated this. The most expensive ticket on the Titanic would cost about $100,000 Australian dollars today.

16:20.38
Jasmin
There was a gymnasium on board with rowing machines and an electric horse.

16:24.79
Cherie
an electric horse

16:26.34
Jasmin
Yes.

16:27.01
Cherie
okay

16:27.62
Jasmin
The ship had a heated swimming pool, the first ever on a cruise liner.

16:33.18
Cherie
okay this one's a little bit harder.

16:36.31
Jasmin
Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

16:39.31
Cherie
See, I know they had a gymnasium. i don't think there was an electric horse.

16:47.19
Jasmin
I'm not giving anything away for once.

16:47.77
Cherie
They did have electricity, they had lighting and stuff like it could have been a thing. I've never heard of an electric horse. What was the first one again?

16:55.98
Jasmin
The most expensive ticket on the Titanic would cost about $100,000 Australian dollars today.

16:59.95
Cherie
Yeah, no, see that I would believe.

17:04.48
Cherie
Things be expensive, you know? Yeah, um I'm going to stick with my intuition, which is telling me electric horse.

17:18.71
Cherie
Did you get me?

17:20.10
Jasmin
my my God, oh, God.

17:20.83
Cherie
No.

17:20.86
Jasmin
Bad moose,

17:23.31
Cherie
You got me.

17:24.56
Jasmin
bad moose. Yes!

17:25.74
Cherie
It had to happen. I called it I knew you were going to get me this week.

17:28.23
Jasmin
yeah And this is really quite hard. The lie is number one because the priciest first-class suite would have cost closer to $250,000 Australian dollars in today's money.

17:38.80
Cherie
Holy moly. That is wild.

17:41.56
Jasmin
That is so much money. No wonder he slapped across the face. He paid $250,000 for her to be on that boat. No

17:48.28
Cherie
You're like, I don't condone it, but no wonder he did it.

17:51.35
Jasmin
wonder he'd she run off with the spit boy.

17:54.18
Cherie
The spit boy. He was so much more than the spit boy, Jasmine.

17:56.39
Jasmin
he shouldn't either.

17:59.12
Cherie
He saved in every way that a person can be saved.

18:01.39
Jasmin
He fucks her in the guy's car. That's their car, I'm pretty sure.

18:07.98
Cherie
That makes it even worse if it's their own car. That's worse. It's not even just a random's car.

18:12.96
Jasmin
i know. I think if he's smacking someone, maybe he should have smacked Jack a little bit. Or he did try and shoot him. Sorry, he escalated it, Jack. No, you shouldn't smack or shoot anybody. I'm sorry.

18:23.41
Jasmin
I'm so sorry to everyone.

18:23.87
Cherie
Also, have a lot of money and then it's fine. Yeah. well

18:29.97
Jasmin
No, that's not what I'm saying. nobody think Never fine, obviously. Okay, in that case, new game.

18:43.98
Jasmin
So this one is just for this episode. You will probably never see this again and it's called ah Titanic Things, Guess That Giant.

18:52.96
Cherie
guess that jump.

18:54.02
Jasmin
So I'm going to give you three clues for each of these things.

18:54.60
Cherie
Okay. Okay.

18:58.91
Cherie
that

18:58.71
Jasmin
And you get a point, one point for guessing it on clue three, two points for guessing it on clue two, or three points for guessing it on clue one. I'm not keeping track of these points.

19:09.73
Cherie
So these like big giant things from around the world.

19:13.87
Jasmin
Yes.

19:14.77
Cherie
Okay. All right. The big banana.

19:16.35
Jasmin
Okay.

19:18.63
Cherie
Did I get it?

19:18.64
Jasmin
um None of the answers are the big banana. Okay.

19:23.80
Cherie
I tried.

19:24.03
Jasmin
Okay, now you've had hint. Okay, I am so big I can be seen from space.

19:29.86
Cherie
The great wall of China.

19:32.55
Jasmin
No.

19:33.29
Cherie
ah

19:33.51
Jasmin
I'm made of stone and took thousands of years to build. I wonder if that's true. I don't think that's true. don't think that's true.

19:42.71
Cherie
Is it the pyramids?

19:44.64
Jasmin
Well done. I mean, yeah, it's the Great Pyramid of Giza.

19:48.13
Cherie
There you go. So I assume that they built them over thousands of years.

19:49.08
Jasmin
We don't take thousands of years to build.

19:52.09
Cherie
Like they built different ones because like weren't they tombs for different pharaohs and that sort of thing?

19:56.35
Jasmin
Well, yes, and the answer is the Great Pyramid of Giza. It's not the pyramids.

20:00.33
Cherie
Oh, like the specific. Yeah, okay. Okay.

20:03.39
Jasmin
So I'm not, I'm not sure I took thousands of years to build. Okay, round two. um The Living Titanic. I weigh as much as 30 elephants.

20:13.91
Cherie
No, you don't, Jasmine. Don't be so mean to yourself.

20:15.56
Jasmin
Oh, no, I do, i do. But this is also in the game. There's a thing.

20:20.08
Cherie
but

20:20.00
Jasmin
the Two, my heart is the size of a small car.

20:24.74
Cherie
A whale. A blue whale.

20:27.39
Jasmin
Yeah, that's the answer. Clue two again. You're so clever.

20:29.86
Cherie
I'm so clever.

20:32.58
Jasmin
ah Round three, the giant import. I was a gift from France.

20:38.08
Cherie
ah it's some the Statue of Liberty.

20:41.04
Jasmin
Oh, my God. I think you're cleverer than me.

20:44.15
Cherie
I just know a lot about big things.

20:44.43
Jasmin
Because... Why you know so much about big things? I read, like, through these and the answers at the bottom, and I don't think I clocked many of the answers before I got to the answer. Or maybe I just wasn't trying. I don't know.

20:57.18
Jasmin
like Okay, round four, the off-world Titanic. I'm so massive I've got my own moons.

21:03.98
Cherie
Ooh. So it's like a planet, right?

21:08.57
Jasmin
don't know. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER

21:11.88
Cherie
know what to kind of

21:16.80
Cherie
um What's the next clue?

21:19.65
Jasmin
You can see my rings without a telescope.

21:22.53
Cherie
Saturn.

21:23.66
Jasmin
Wow, Saturn, you include two. Best friends.

21:26.74
Cherie
Yeah.

21:27.63
Jasmin
Okay, round five, modern mega monster. I don't know the answer to this. I don't know what it is. I'm taller than 800 metres.

21:36.83
Cherie
um The Empire State Building?

21:40.20
Jasmin
No, I'm found in Dubai and sometimes disappear into clouds.

21:45.00
Cherie
the Burj Khalifa.

21:46.43
Jasmin
Oh, I've never heard of that.

21:47.93
Cherie
Oh, I've been there!

21:49.39
Jasmin
Oh my God! This is so amazing! I'm so impressed with you!

21:55.85
Cherie
it's about time someone was. We found my new...

21:58.05
Jasmin
know! Apparently my voice reaches a very high pitch which indicates impressment.

22:05.40
Jasmin
I don't think impressment's a word.

22:06.50
Cherie
I reached a 10 on the impressment scale.

22:09.14
Jasmin
Why can't I get anything right today? I'm encouraging people to hit other people and I don't know words. But i know enough words to encourage people to hit other people, but only those words.

22:20.26
Cherie
but And this sentence explaining that

22:20.59
Jasmin
I know that sentence and this sentence explaining that sentence. Okay. Okay. Again, I destroyed an entire Roman city in 79 AD.

22:37.26
Cherie
Was it a fire?

22:39.85
Jasmin
I'm one of Italy's most famous volcanoes.

22:43.53
Cherie
Oh, um... Oh my goodness, I'm having a mental blank.

22:47.37
Jasmin
Yeah, you've been there.

22:49.15
Cherie
I've literally been there and I can't think of... Was it Mount Vesuvius?

22:53.85
Jasmin
It is. And the third clue is completely useless. My name sounds like a pasta sauce. I don't even think that's true. It doesn't.

23:01.02
Cherie
It doesn't sound like that at all.

23:01.04
Jasmin
What pasta sauce? No.

23:06.13
Cherie
I'm cooking some Vesuvius a la Cherie for dinner tonight.

23:06.44
Jasmin
Okay.

23:09.38
Cherie
It makes no sense.

23:11.63
Jasmin
This says um to The loser must deliver a dramatic monologue about being too emotionally large for this world while the Titanic violin music plays softly underneath.

23:24.92
Jasmin
I can't do that.

23:27.18
Cherie
I don't think you've lost either.

23:27.18
Jasmin
what No, nobody like loses. But it's just it thinks that I'm better at podcasting than I am.

23:40.52
Jasmin
We have an optional bonus round

23:41.34
Cherie
like sound clips for like Titanic music. We're not that good.

23:44.86
Jasmin
I know. i can How long is going to take me? for Forever? I'm not doing that.

23:49.06
Cherie
ah

23:49.98
Jasmin
And we've also got a bonus round. too Tiny Titanic.

23:53.06
Cherie
Oh, okay.

23:53.32
Jasmin
um

23:53.67
Cherie
Well,

23:54.43
Jasmin
Oh, no. oh no. It's just given me suggestions for answers. It hasn't given me any questions. But the answers were ah baby axolotl and mini chisels.

24:07.02
Jasmin
What?

24:10.97
Jasmin
okay I should really read through this before we do this. Okay, so that was Guess That Giant. Well done. Then it says do a moosical interlude, violin music and a fake radio transmission. Attention passengers, moose spotted on iceberg. Please remain calm.

24:31.61
Jasmin
Again, I can't do that. I can't do any of that.

24:34.03
Cherie
It's escape moose. They're blaming the moose. They're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, the iceberg. We did hit the iceberg, but look at the moose.

24:40.62
Jasmin
Escape moves. Just look at the moves. Don't worry about any our decisions that we've made tonight. Terrible decisions about speed and manoeuvring in the middle of an ice field.

24:51.36
Jasmin
ah Well, there's only one thing left to do, and that is to sort of nail down hero-villain dynamic, which is the purpose of what we're doing here.

24:52.15
Cherie
fine.

25:03.17
Jasmin
we did a little bit of that. What's your final decision here? is Cal actually a villain or did you just have too much writing on this?

25:14.62
Cherie
Well, okay, like, I think we need to talk a little bit about Jack too because I don't think we talked about him enough.

25:21.59
Jasmin
His irresponsible luring of first-class women to to the life of a drifter?

25:25.27
Cherie
Yeah.

25:29.51
Cherie
Yeah. But he was so jealous about it.

25:30.50
Jasmin
Or is it like he was giving her the choice, it's up to the woman?

25:33.83
Cherie
He was letting her... He was giving her, I guess, the ability to stand up for herself and to decide what she wanted and didn't want for her life because she was so trapped by the the inertia of things.

25:51.02
Cherie
That's a line. That's a thing. Yes.

25:52.02
Jasmin
So well that it she did say it was her inertia that was bothering her.

25:54.40
Cherie
but

25:56.96
Cherie
yeah

25:57.95
Jasmin
So you're saying he's a feminist.

26:00.98
Cherie
Yeah. And he's good looking and he was funny and he was, you know, gonna she would have travelled the world with him and done all of these really nice things. She did them anyway.

26:11.73
Jasmin
Very uncomfortably.

26:13.10
Cherie
aye

26:13.58
Jasmin
she shoot me I argue that she would get into that life and go, I don't like this. This isn't fun. I'm dirty.

26:21.15
Cherie
But she liked it.

26:21.40
Jasmin
My feet are dirty.

26:23.65
Cherie
She enjoyed it.

26:25.87
Jasmin
She never experienced it once. She wore those fancy dresses the whole movie.

26:30.62
Cherie
Yeah, but then at the end she's an old lady and she's lived her life and she's got all her photos of her riding horses and doing all sorts things.

26:38.85
Jasmin
Oh, yeah, no, that is true. she She did actually end up living the poverty.

26:40.69
Cherie
She's beautiful.

26:42.28
Jasmin
She never contacted her family

26:42.87
Cherie
Yeah, that's a thing. become an actress.

26:46.20
Jasmin
She became an actress. Yeah, yeah, yeah, which I suppose she could have done with him.

26:47.24
Cherie
Yes.

26:48.46
Jasmin
He would have been like, oh, thank God one of us is working. Thank God. I'm so poor and I can't afford my cigarettes.

26:55.20
Cherie
Well, it's probably good that he passed away like when he did or they probably would have had a baby and then it would have been like another layer of poverty for them to begin with. Nightmare. nightmare

27:05.40
Jasmin
Yeah, when was he going to set? Oh, well, he had the art thing. I suppose maybe he could be could could have become an artist. But would you like to settle the door debate?

27:14.08
Cherie
Oh, yeah. Okay. So anyone who tells me that she could have let him get on the door is wrong. And it's because they don't understand simple weight ratios. If he got on that door, they would have both been submerged a little bit more in the water.

27:28.54
Cherie
They would have both frozen to death.

27:29.02
Jasmin
Yes.

27:31.16
Cherie
End story.

27:30.97
Jasmin
I agree.

27:31.78
Cherie
Yeah.

27:31.69
Jasmin
Partially submerged and frozen to death.

27:32.26
Cherie
sure. No. No.

27:36.36
Cherie
but

27:36.33
Jasmin
Do you think they could have taken turns getting in and out of the water, off and onto the door?

27:40.18
Cherie
right Imagine how, like, you would die of shock. You know when you get out of the pool, how cold it is? And that's when you're like...

27:46.91
Jasmin
No, when you're in a really cold pool and you get out, you feel warm.

27:50.91
Cherie
Yeah, but I don't think you would there because the air around there, like, it wouldn't be, like, warm air around. It would be still freezing cold. They're in an ice field.

28:02.16
Jasmin
So you're saying the temperature outside was the same as inside. So really he shouldn't have died under the water because the temperature up above the water.

28:08.04
Cherie
it's

28:09.49
Jasmin
All right, scientist Sheree, your story doesn't check out.

28:13.38
Cherie
Look, sometimes I just say things, okay?

28:16.07
Jasmin
I can hear that.

28:17.57
Cherie
My brain doesn't catch up with my words. No, it would still be freezing. I don't think that, and like even if it did feel warmer when he came out, like he's still like ah frozen through to his core.

28:30.82
Cherie
Like he's still freezing cold. Without something to completely heat up his core body temperature, he would be screwed.

28:39.57
Jasmin
um You know who's also a bad dude? The manservant.

28:43.25
Cherie
Oh, yeah, he's a bad guy. He just does what he's told. And he was very personally invested in that, wasn't he?

28:47.74
Jasmin
But to the very end, like why did he care so much? How much was he getting paid?

28:54.36
Jasmin
Very like he banged on the elevator when they got in and went down and she gave it. he What was he going to do if he caught them? Grab onto them?

29:01.17
Cherie
Yeah.

29:01.62
Jasmin
Was he?

29:03.38
Cherie
Yeah, he was um dedicated to the cause.

29:07.54
Jasmin
Yeah, yeah, he, and I think he from the start was just sus on Jack because they told a story that was a lie when she tried to jump off the back of the boat and she's like, oh, I just slipped over.

29:17.49
Cherie
What

29:20.62
Jasmin
And he's like, well, you still took your jacket on your shoes off before you saved her. So that's just not true.

29:24.83
Cherie
want to know though is why he didn't point that out while everyone was talking, like discussing whether or not the story was going to check out. Why didn't he speak up then?

29:34.18
Jasmin
Yeah, that's...

29:35.74
Cherie
He just like gave it to Jack as a little warning like I'm on to you but didn't raise the alarm for anybody else. That's so weird.

29:42.87
Jasmin
and Did he not wonder why Rose was going along with that story? She's like, oh, no, like, he was raping me, but I wanted that, so it's fine.

29:50.21
Cherie
she

29:50.25
Jasmin
i'm I'm just making up a story to protect this guy who tried to rape me. Like, that's obviously not the case.

29:55.11
Cherie
Yeah. Yeah, no, that guy was um very, very strange and very dedicated to being a lackey.

30:03.83
Jasmin
um Is there anything else we want to address in this movie? Like you've got the people looking for the diamond and, I mean, is old Lady Rose the bad dude for throwing the diamond off the boat?

30:14.99
Cherie
But I think that's like on par with her chaotic like persona in general. She's just a little bit crazy, isn't she?

30:24.91
Jasmin
Yeah, yes.

30:26.10
Cherie
Yeah, she does what she wants.

30:29.35
Jasmin
Yeah, I guess so. And then, like, there's that guy that does the reenactment of the Titanic in front of a Titanic survivor and shows her it exploding on the bottom of the ocean.

30:37.97
Cherie
Yeah.

30:41.19
Cherie
Hey, that is a fine forensic analysis that he provided.

30:45.39
Jasmin
Mr. Brody.

30:48.37
Jasmin
He's out of there. He's like, pow, pow. And in her mind she's just seeing everyone dying around her. Like, it seemed insane.

30:55.46
Cherie
He was just like very much on the spectrum and that was his like interest. And that's just, he was excited. He was very excited.

31:03.93
Jasmin
I suppose.

31:05.31
Cherie
don't think he did it.

31:05.21
Jasmin
They can be a bit insensitive but maybe not in a malicious way, just genuinely excited about what they but he's talking about.

31:06.37
Cherie
Yeah.

31:08.91
Cherie
Yeah.

31:11.58
Jasmin
I can see that.

31:12.74
Cherie
Yeah.

31:13.38
Jasmin
Any other bad guys in there?

31:15.94
Cherie
ah No, but do you think that the granddaughter and the guy who was making the documentary, like, got together? oh always feel like they should have got together.

31:21.94
Jasmin
Yes? Yeah, I think whatever happens on a boat stays on a boat. Like I think that's the rules. Everyone's aware. We're on the boat for a good time, not a long time. i think that's quite Standard.

31:34.24
Cherie
Yes, good. I'm going on a boat Unrelated. Unrelated.

31:37.22
Jasmin
Have a good time. Yeah, it's going to stay on the boat.

31:41.54
Cherie
Oh, you won't know about it. Yeah.

31:43.85
Jasmin
It's going to stay on the boat.

31:48.59
Jasmin
I think that's the Titanic. there The villain kind of is the villain. Cal can't be smacking people across the face and shooting at them. It doesn't matter what they do. We haven't had a villain reversal here. Jack did he did try and pull her out of her rich life, but she wanted that.

32:04.07
Cherie
yeah

32:04.29
Jasmin
Like Rose should have been allowed to choose her life. My dogs are wrestling again. You can hear that.

32:09.29
Cherie
I was like, either your dogs are wrestling or something is going on.

32:12.53
Jasmin
yeah

32:13.86
Cherie
you sorry yeah Although she does say that she doesn't want to work as a seamstress.

32:13.64
Jasmin
My dogs are on a boat right now. Those dogs are on a boat. Yeah, and the mother, you know, again, of the times, putting all that pressure on her daughter, but maybe she thought it was for her daughter's own best interest because she would sink into poverty and she didn't want...

32:30.71
Jasmin
ja She doesn't say, I don't want you working as a seamstress.

32:33.31
Cherie
So there's a bit of a selfish motive there as well.

32:37.15
Jasmin
Yeah, she doesn't say, don't want you working as a seamstress. She goes, do you want to see me working as a seamstress? Me? Yeah.

32:43.86
Cherie
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

32:45.29
Jasmin
What about me? What about M-E, my enjoyment?

32:53.27
Jasmin
and So, yeah, I would say this is not a villain swap. The only villain swap remains. It's not even swap. We just decided that Sid from Toy Story is not actually a villain.

33:03.22
Cherie
yeah

33:03.34
Jasmin
But that didn't mean that anybody else in there was a villain. So no villain swap. There's still not a good guy that looks like there's actually a bad guy underneath it.

33:12.43
Cherie
yeah yeah think that

33:14.37
Jasmin
Why? Yeah.

33:16.24
Cherie
Not yet. We'll find it. One day it

33:18.00
Jasmin
We'll keep questioning. We'll keep questioning. If anyone has any movie suggestions that they want hear about, if Sheree and I haven't seen it, we'll watch it. We'll watch it and we'll chat all about it unless it's like, don't Kindergarten Cop or something.

33:25.40
Cherie
will be.

33:31.53
Jasmin
What's a movie that you don't like? Is there anything particular that you don't want to watch? ah

33:36.15
Cherie
Oh, I'm sure there is something. Let me think for a minute. I have no idea. Oh.

33:41.52
Jasmin
Yeah, I think I don't like a lot of kids' movies these days. Like, obviously, Disney ones are great, but what about, like, Bad Guys? Have you seen that? Or, like, any, like, generic Netflix?

33:50.67
Cherie
That guy was great.

33:52.54
Jasmin
Oh, I didn't like it.

33:53.90
Cherie
Oh, it was really

33:53.79
Jasmin
Do you know ones that are made by Netflix and they seem a bit cheaper or something?

33:56.23
Cherie
Yeah.

33:57.68
Jasmin
i don't know. I just don't find them a bit boring.

33:59.94
Cherie
no do you know what? I actually heard a story about how they're giving directives to um writers that they need to dumb the script down essentially because they're aware that people are just scrolling on their phones for the whole time.

34:13.44
Cherie
So they're making movies that, with the idea that you should be able to follow it without having to actually watch it while you're scrolling and it's just dumbing down all of the movies.

34:20.69
Jasmin
Oh,

34:23.94
Jasmin
boo, boo.

34:25.21
Cherie
Yeah. And I think that's true. I've noticed a trend where, like, things seem to be a bit dumber.

34:33.59
Jasmin
Yeah, I wonder if things are getting dumber around us or if you...

34:39.97
Cherie
Well, we're just getting really smart. Yeah.

34:45.10
Jasmin
oh We think that the, yeah I don't know, something about us getting dumber somehow, I don't know, do we think that?

34:51.25
Cherie
ah right but

34:52.14
Jasmin
Like ramping things up and we're, I don't know, we don't understand it now because it's too intelligent and we're like, this seems dumb.

34:56.48
Cherie
and

35:00.75
Cherie
it's just on a whole other level it's like how like people that we knew adults in our lives when we were younger were like family guy is so stupid it's just all fart jokes but they didn't get like the social commentary behind it

35:13.90
Jasmin
Oh, yeah, people that don't like, you know, Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad, all those amazing classics like, oh, even like, yeah, South Park.

35:20.76
Cherie
Yeah, so clever.

35:26.52
Cherie
Yeah. so clever

35:28.44
Jasmin
I love, um okay, sit, Sparky, roll over, Sparky, now don't be gay, Sparky.

35:33.51
Cherie
perfect

35:37.34
Jasmin
And he's so gay and he's just got a bandana and he's just too zoo-ears. Yeah.

35:41.67
Cherie
so

35:44.86
Cherie
exciting

35:45.43
Jasmin
Well, thanks very much for um sorting out the all of the various Titanic conundrums.

35:52.79
Cherie
You're welcome.

35:53.65
Jasmin
This is the final say on them. I won't have any more internet memes going around ever again. If anyone sends you a meme saying, oh, they should have got on the door or this or that, just direct them directly to this podcast for clarity because that's done and dusted.

36:04.15
Cherie
Yes, there will be no further discussions. This is it now.

36:07.57
Jasmin
Yeah, this it's science-based. It's not about opinion. Cherie gave us all of her science wisdom and that's all clear now.

36:10.84
Cherie
Just put it to bed.

36:17.40
Cherie
look

36:17.51
Jasmin
And...

36:17.92
Cherie
Most of what I said was on point. Don't listen to the stupid things that I said.

36:22.84
Jasmin
it Except for that one, definitely not on point.

36:23.17
Cherie
words

36:25.19
Jasmin
um And, yeah, send us your suggestions. I hope you have a fabulous week. I still haven't thought of a sign-off. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. and I promise not to... um say it's like suggest people should hit other people although

36:43.15
Cherie
You're making it worse.

36:48.67
Jasmin
never never do it's not the right thing to do it's very bad uh toodaloo

36:54.18
Cherie
Bye.