Moose On The Loose

Life Finds a Way (To Ruin Everything)

Moose Enterprises Season 2 Episode 4

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This week on Moose on the Loose, we head to Jurassic Park — a place where dinosaurs roam free and absolutely no one thought to install a backup generator.

We break down the movie that traumatised an entire generation and ask the important questions:
Who is the real villain — the dinosaurs, Dennis Nedry, or just rich men with terrible ideas?
Would we survive the park? (No.)
And why does saying “clever girl” feel so smug right before you get eaten?

We also introduce our new game Clever Girl, where we rate smug behaviour from mildly annoying to straight-to-the-goat-pen levels of insufferable. Plus, a genuinely unhinged Moose Marry Avoid: Dinosaur Edition, and an AITA story featuring a 2am Jurassic Park obsession that has fully divided the room.

There are hot takes, questionable decisions, and at least one moment where we realise the park was doomed from the start.

Hold onto your butts — this one escalates quickly.

SPEAKER_02

Welcome back everybody to Moose on the Loose, the podcast where life uh finds a way. Is that the quote? Is that right? Life always uh finds a way. Jeff Goblin being all creepy and talking about sex.

SPEAKER_04

Typical Goblin.

SPEAKER_02

Typical Goblin. He's such a such a sex fiend. Uh hi everyone. We I don't know if you all recognize that voice, but we have a special treat because this is our 20th episode. And we thought, what better way to celebrate than to bring on a guest, a sexy guest that we've had before. His name's Matt. Chips? Is that right? We call you Chips.

SPEAKER_04

I don't know. You can do whatever you want.

SPEAKER_02

Ah, Chips is here. Chips. Yeah, I need that applause sound. We didn't use it enough last week.

SPEAKER_04

Just use the moose. Just use the moose sound for everything.

SPEAKER_02

Well, we didn't, yeah. I had the applause lined up last week, but we didn't do anything good enough to warrant applausing ourselves. So I didn't even bother to put it on this week. I was like, shit, this is shit. No applause for us. Welcome!

unknown

Welcome everybody.

SPEAKER_01

I was like, sorry, you told me not to have like not to fight on air, but I've been needing to burp so hard right now. It's been I'm so sorry. I hope you didn't hear that.

SPEAKER_04

I loud and clear and perfect. Absolutely perfect. Because it's like no applause for this podcast.

SPEAKER_01

I'll give you an applause.

SPEAKER_02

A minute 40 edit. That's not very long in to be editing people. Can we get it together, please?

SPEAKER_04

Leave it in.

SPEAKER_02

All right, you guys don't have the run sheet. Only I have the run sheet. Uh, but I yeah, you we all know what we're doing today. And the first person who's doing something is Matt Chibsey. Uh when we're doing this this whole episode, I'm gonna say Matt, and then go, oh no, Chibs, Chibs, his name's not Matt, it's Chips.

SPEAKER_04

You can just use my actual name if you want.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, in podcast world, your name is Chips, you know.

SPEAKER_04

Chips is that I thought it was chipsy. Isn't it?

SPEAKER_03

You can play around with it.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, no one, no one by many names.

SPEAKER_01

Has anyone called you chipsy?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, I don't know. I just assumed it was Chibsy.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Does anyone call you Chibsy Wibsey? Just while we're doing variations and checking.

SPEAKER_04

I'm sure it's happened.

SPEAKER_02

Some someone out there has called you Chibsi Wibsy.

SPEAKER_04

Yes, without a doubt. Yeah. It rings a bell. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know. I hope maybe your brother's in front.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah. That's fossil.

SPEAKER_02

Chibsy whibsy, get me a bee. All right. Um well we can we want you to do the the summary because I don't know Jurassic Park.

SPEAKER_04

Oh shit, okay. So we know what movie we're doing then.

SPEAKER_02

Jurassic Park! Woo! Jurassic Park! We're gonna find out who's the villain in Jurassic Park. Um I have theories. It's not a clear-cut one. I think we could, I'm pegging it now, I think we could get a villain swap. Uh yeah, okay. But for starters, we need a a summary for we need you know if you wouldn't mind, just remind Tara and I what happened in that movie with the dinosaur movie. Of Jurassic Park?

SPEAKER_01

The dinosaur movie. Sure. The very, very, very original The Jurassic Park.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, Steven Spielberg's Jurassic Park. Okay. Uh summary is uh you have a surly archaeologist and his girlfriend, I think. Possibly. It's I don't think it's his wife.

SPEAKER_02

Surely accuracy. Were they exes? No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_04

They're definitely different.

SPEAKER_02

Are they together?

SPEAKER_04

Maybe they're engaged.

SPEAKER_01

I don't I think aren't they with other people? And then they like kind of on this quest I don't know. I always bring up other movies.

SPEAKER_04

No, no, I'm sure they are a couple because they like he's like, I never want kids, and then he ends up in Jurassic Park and he's got to look after those kids. And um, yeah, his his heart is then opened up to the idea of knocking up his girlfriend, I guess. Anyway, that's got nothing to do with the dinosaurs. So the archaeologists, they uh their their rich benefactor who's funding all of their archaeology expeditions turns up and says, Guess what? I've got a surprise for you. Come out to this island. Um, I'm not gonna tell you why, but if you want me to keep paying for all your your dino bone-digging stuff, you've got to come to the island. So they go to the island and they're driving around, and it looks like it's gonna be a theme park or something, and they have their minds blown by the fact that there are dinosaurs alive on the island. And it turns out that David Edinburgh's brother figured out a way to bring dinosaurs back to life.

SPEAKER_02

Is it actually David Edenborough's brother?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, it's Richard Edenborough.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah. And then uh Is it actually? Yeah, yes.

SPEAKER_01

I've watched this movie too many times, and I can't believe I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, Richard Edinburgh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's his brother. And uh then uh they're on the island with the dinosaurs, and it's the you know, when nothing can possibly go wrong situation from The Simpsons, and everything does go wrong. Yes.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, yeah, yeah, pretty much it. Yeah, but but uh yeah, well, an important thing to note, I think, is that the uh kids are off kind of exploring it and end up having to and the kids are Richard Adenborough's grandkids.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, so yeah, uh they they're obsessed with dinosaurs, then they hang out with the archaeologist, and you throw the other bit characters in there. You've got Jeff Goldblum, who's a like a philosopher or something, something weird like that. That's his job in it, and they have the accountant that goes around telling them that things are too expensive. Um and that chubby guy, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Who was a chubby guy?

SPEAKER_04

You've got Newman. Newman who works there. Yeah, I don't know if it's it's Newman from Seinfeld. Wayne Knight is his name.

SPEAKER_01

Seinfeld. Like I know of Seinfeld, and everyone is a big fan of Seinfeld, but I've actually watched it all, but I know that's a big bum to just drop on it. I know. I when it's my mouth, I was like, maybe I should have disclosed this information before I spoke to you. I'm a fraud.

SPEAKER_04

No, I'm actually I'm jealous that you haven't seen Seinfeld because it means you can go and watch it now and just be totally fresh to it. Like, that's pretty I'm excited for you. I'm excited for you.

SPEAKER_01

Uh I would like to. There's a lot actually that I haven't seen that I'm very looking forward to. And as my adult self, I'm sure the humour would relate to me now.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I I think you'll enjoy it. Anyway, it's Newman from Seinfeld, is the fat dude who's working at Jurassic Park. And I'm totally just going off memory. I haven't seen this in a very long time, but I'm pretty sure it's like uh some sort of competitor to Richard Addenborough is trying to also create dinosaurs somewhere and wants Newman from Seinfeld to steal an embryo or something and give it to them. So he's trying to smuggle shit out of Jurassic Park. Uh and I can't actually remember if why that has anything to do with things going wrong. Maybe does he he cuts the power or something? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

I think he cuts the power and something happens, and that's when the dinosaurs start like going like yeah crazy.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, okay, ape shit, because you everybody knows that dinosaurs know when power is on or off.

SPEAKER_02

Um what a layered movie for a movie about dinosaurs eating people. You've got to make you gotta put something else into this.

SPEAKER_04

I mean, this is this is what happens if you get like it's a Michael Crichton book, Jurassic Park. I've never read it, but Steven Spielberg's got that and went, I can turn this into an amazing movie. Um, but the pitch is really like dinosaurs go mad on an island. It could be a tubi movie.

SPEAKER_02

Tara, have you watched Tubi before? Like Netflix or something? Yeah, it's a streaming service called Tubi.

SPEAKER_01

No, I have like a thousand other ones, but no, I do not know.

SPEAKER_04

Well, this is free, Tara. It's a free streaming service.

SPEAKER_01

Are you kidding me?

SPEAKER_04

It's free, yeah, yeah, 100% free. And there's a reason why it's free. It's because it's full of the best movies you will ever see in your entire life.

SPEAKER_01

Because nothing good comes for free.

SPEAKER_02

No, no, they're so they're so bad, they're good.

SPEAKER_01

They're so bad that they're good. Are these like the B graded movies? It's below B. There's a lot of okay. Well, you're embarrassed with the actor.

SPEAKER_02

This is like kids made them in high school for and it somehow is on a streaming service now.

SPEAKER_04

It's like, yeah, except it's getting it's getting weird because it it's like you have land shark and then Inglorious Bastards is next to it, and you go, why is this on Tubi?

SPEAKER_02

Oh, there's this paper mache shark, and it goes in the dirt and it's by tunnels in it. Oh my god. All right. Yeah, we've been known to put on tubi. Um we thank you so much for that summary. Has anyone got anything to add? You're you're I I feel like you you've covered it.

SPEAKER_04

Did I miss anything?

SPEAKER_02

No, I think you knocked it out of the park. Maybe the velociraptors are clever, you know, and they raptors are clever.

SPEAKER_04

Uh clever. Yeah, I don't know. Which ones are stupid? The big long neck ones? They're stupid.

SPEAKER_02

Um the dipodokus.

SPEAKER_04

Sure.

SPEAKER_02

Sure. Or the brachiosaurus. What are you referring to here?

SPEAKER_04

Long neck.

SPEAKER_02

I think you're talking about the Brachiosaurus. And uh who's got autism here?

SPEAKER_04

They'll tell us who they'll tell us which uh dinosaur it is.

SPEAKER_01

I'm a if I had Jackson, he would know every single animal, the amount he is obsessed with every single Jurassic Park. Like, if I'm like, what's that animal? Here's he'll tell me and say it exactly how it is.

SPEAKER_04

We missed a trick. We missed the trick. We should have had someone on that really knew something about dinosaurs. Could have been quite an interesting podcast.

SPEAKER_02

I'll go get Cal out of bed, he'll tell you.

SPEAKER_01

I think it's more interesting going the one with the long neck. The one that comes by.

SPEAKER_02

I've got a first thing. I thought we might play our special game first today, and then we'll do the other ones. Um, because I'm I was happy with the name of this game. It's called Clever Girl, right? And so I don't know if you remember Tara in Jurassic Park. The game warden goes, Clever girl, because he realizes that the Velociraptors have outsmarted him and then they immediately eat him. But there's just something really smug about the way he says clever girl, like very condescending or something. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04

Just I think you like it.

SPEAKER_02

I don't like it. Can you explain why? Can you tell me why it gives me ick, why I think it's smug?

SPEAKER_04

Uh well it is. It is because he yeah, well, it's he thought that he was smarter and stronger and superior to the to the raptor the whole time. And that he was in control. To be maybe it's because he's British or South African or something. South Africans are always smug.

SPEAKER_02

Well, the game is clever girl. I'm gonna I'm gonna read some stuff out, and you gotta tell me if you think it's um smug or not. So you'll say clever girl if it's smug. And if it's not, we need something else to say. I'm thinking dumb boy, like just the opposite or something, or like you know, that won't be like clever girl, dumb boy. Yeah, is that all right? Yeah, sure. Correcting some oh no segment.

SPEAKER_04

Thank Christ that happened, would have been confusing otherwise.

SPEAKER_01

I was like, with the music in play, so I'm so like yeah, okay, go.

SPEAKER_02

See? See Tyrone is it? Thank you. Okay, correcting someone's pronunciation mid-sentence.

SPEAKER_04

Is wait, is clever girl means it's like in the positive?

SPEAKER_02

No, it's a smug thing to do. It's you shouldn't do it. So it's when you say clever girl, like smart ass.

SPEAKER_01

Like, oh okay, clever girl.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And then what smart boy? What was the other one? Oh, dumb boy. Wait, we say dumb boy.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, it give me an example of what what's the what is the correct answer to that?

SPEAKER_02

It's smug. I would say clever girl. I'd say clever girl.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, so this is based on if the thing if the activity is smug or not?

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

unknown

Correct.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, all right.

SPEAKER_02

Thanks. Okay, good. Here we go. Uh uh saying I just have high standards.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, what was the first one?

SPEAKER_02

Oh, correcting someone's pronunciation mid-sentence.

SPEAKER_04

It's pronunciation.

SPEAKER_01

Do you know once I corrected someone in class because I was like, I know this, and I was wrong, and it was the one. They're like, Yes, yes, she's smart.

SPEAKER_04

Ah, no one's and I never answered anything ever again. Never, ever.

SPEAKER_01

Um, but I'm not answering this one. It literally traumatized me.

SPEAKER_02

Uh yeah, I tried to correct someone on the internet. Well, I don't usually feel strongly enough to write anything on the internet.

SPEAKER_04

I don't do it on the internet.

SPEAKER_02

No, I know, but someone had just done this stand-up bit about how um ADHD is a funny mental health problem to have. And it was a funny bit and everything. And I was like, it's very good, it's very funny. ADHD is not actually a mental health problem. It's a disorder, it's different things.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, fucking hell, Jazz. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_02

Someone's just like blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. It is a mental, yeah. And then um someone else, yeah, someone wrote to me, how are you gonna correct him and still be wrong? Like everyone was just like, You're wrong, and I was like, ah. And then other people defended me, so that was fun.

SPEAKER_04

What got more comments? That or a uh photo of an octopus.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god, Tari, you don't know this. You don't know this. Sidetrack, sidebar, everyone. This week I met this okay, now I was at the rock pool, the local rock pool with my kids, and my daughter, who's five, said, I don't want to go in the water. What if there's an octopus? Because she's scared of octopuses. And I was like, Oh, there's no octopus. Just stop worrying about it and just jump in the water. You'll be fine. Don't worry about it. So she starts walking along the wall, and I'm I'm out, I've been swimming, I'm out. And she just starts screaming, octopus! Octopus, there's an octopus, and I'm like, there's not fucking octopus. So I I go to check it out so I can point out that it is in fact just a rock or something and tell it to you know, keep going to it silly. Anyway, there's an octopus. There's not gonna be an octopus, there's an octopus, and it was following us, it was like walking along the wall. Wherever we walked, it would come with us, which is pretty cool. Anyway, it was a funny colour, and um, these people were walking past, and I had photos of it, and they said, Oh, is it is it actually is actually an octopus over there? And I was like, Yeah, here's a picture of it. Um and they were like, Oh, do you reckon it's a blue ring? And I was like, I don't think so. I think it's too big from what I know about that. I don't know, I'm not an expert. And I had no reception to find out on the internet, right? So she says, Can you just put it on the community notice board for me? And um you know, when you find out, because I'd be interested to know if it was a blue ring. I said, Sure, no worries. I put it on the community notice board. Now let me bring up the current numbers of the response this has had from the community. It's wild. Wild. Um hang on, I'll try the wrong word. Yeah, okay. Okay. As of this morning, because people are still talking about this. Oh, I've lost it. I can't even find it. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I put a video of a fish dying on the bottom of a tank, and it would I got 300,000 views. Whoa! Yeah, I know. I am TikTok famous, technically speaking. So, yeah, I put like it's the Titanic ship music where it's like the ugly Titanic music, and then it's got a sign up the top that just says, like, don't be fooled, the fish is okay. And then I just filmed down to this fish that is literally floating dead on the bottom of the fucking tank. And I was like, Radio, and then yeah, so and then everyone was like, It's not dead, it's depressed.

SPEAKER_02

Ah, oh my god, they defended the fish. All right, well, I had I have 158 reactions and 82 comments on this thread, and I can tell you what I learned from it, from their comments, is that it definitely is a blue-ringed octopus, and also that it definitely is not a blue-ringed octopus. No fucking way.

SPEAKER_04

Vicious, the vicious debate.

SPEAKER_01

This is where the divide happens, and people like are literally like, I will come to your house and I'll show you what a fucking blue-ring octopus looks like. Yeah, it's connected. I am one of those people. I'm like, fuck you, that is not a blue-ring octopus. That is a blah blah blah blah blah. But you know, I wouldn't go to their house.

SPEAKER_02

Some people think it's a blue line octopus. Some guys are like, oh, when I was a kid we did this, and other people like, yeah, mate, me too. Like they've connected and bonded over this.

SPEAKER_04

It had stopped for a little bit, and I was bored while waiting somewhere, so I chucked another comment in there to kind of get it firing off again.

SPEAKER_02

Matt writes, oh, it's a shame the colors aren't very clear. It's pretty hard to tell.

SPEAKER_04

I said it's it's a shame the photo quality was so poor, it's hard to tell what it is. So I thought that'd get people a bit riled up. And then after a couple of days, I was just like, so is it a blurring octopus?

SPEAKER_02

And then, yeah, see, we're gonna go again. Oh my goodness. Okay, so correcting someone's pronunciation mid-sentence and pronunciation seriously is in the middle of that sentence. Like that was very impressive. It was a very, very good joke.

SPEAKER_04

I thought you set me up.

SPEAKER_02

What do I say? Pronunciation. I think it's fine. I'm not already. Okay, what about saying I just have high standards?

SPEAKER_04

Wait, in in for what?

SPEAKER_02

Like when someone's people and you just say, Well, I just have high standards.

SPEAKER_04

Like you Oh, because it means they're scum. Yeah, you you're that's a clever girl. That's a smug.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, I'm so glad you said that because you said that to me. You said it to me.

SPEAKER_03

You did.

unknown

You did.

SPEAKER_03

What's up?

SPEAKER_02

No, I didn't. Yeah, yeah, yes. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

When?

SPEAKER_02

Oh, it makes sense. We were talking about our kids, and my kids were being real naughty, and you're like, I wouldn't let my kids get away with that, and then blah blah blah. And then you were like, Well, I just have high standards.

SPEAKER_04

Bam! Yeah, no, I stand, I stand by it.

SPEAKER_02

That was fun. All right, giving, um, okay, how about mentioning your step count unprompted?

SPEAKER_03

Oh, fuck. I don't know. Is that fine?

SPEAKER_01

Are these things do? And then you're like, I just want to know.

SPEAKER_02

Is this the well you think I'm tracking my step count? I'd be so depressed.

SPEAKER_04

I don't know if it's a smug thing, it's weird. Like, no one cares.

SPEAKER_01

Because technically speaking, not that I count my fucking steps and let people know, I think I'm one of those people. When I was walking to work, I was like, I've done 10,000. And do you know how far that is? That's like nearly six K's. Three K's there, three K's back. I'm one of those people.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and if you're a runner, you say, Oh, I did like five K's today. I'm trying to get up to 10. Like, you do start.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I don't I don't I don't put it in smug.

SPEAKER_01

I just walk little steps, so then it looks more. Yes, right?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, just penguin impersonated.

SPEAKER_01

100%. I'm like, done 20,000 steps. Now watch me go upstairs.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah. I think I'd be scared some days at how little my step count would be. It's like if I'm not at work, it's like I'm gonna walk over to that couch, I'm gonna lay on the couch.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so you go to bed as a failure that night, you know.

SPEAKER_04

Mathematically speaking, you're actually I'm not, I'm never bringing my step count up to anyone.

SPEAKER_01

Well, all my brakes at work when I used to have the breaks and shit, like they I'd say I need to get my step count in, and like, well, walk around while you're on your break. I'm like, no, that's what breaks are not like you don't do that on break.

SPEAKER_04

Breaking from the steps.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I'd rather walk around on my time of getting paid. 100%.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. Uh what about saying I don't even watch TV? Like, I don't even watch TV. I haven't seen it because I don't really watch TV, you know.

SPEAKER_04

I don't think it's smug. They probably don't watch TV.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, but then what if they're always on their phone? Like, I'm sure when they say they don't watch TV, they're just on they're watching TV. 100%.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is um see, I learned this when I met Jazz is that there's many words for different screens, but they're all the actual same thing. So, like, I'd never heard of this shit before. And then I ended up that I started saying it where it was like, what is it? It's there's there's shows shows, videos, shows, videos, screens. Screens. Yeah, Netflix. But all of these are the exact same uh activity. They're the same activity.

SPEAKER_02

No, they're different. They're all different.

SPEAKER_04

Those are all because kids that go, like, can I watch videos? You'd be like, no, only shows.

SPEAKER_02

Videos is like watching them. Like, what the what is happening? Okay, tell me any of those words and I'll tell you what they actually are in later.

SPEAKER_04

Well, yeah, I know what they are now as well, which I'm disturbed by. Yes, please.

SPEAKER_02

Which one? Whose one? I'll tell you what it is. Matt, you tell her the words again.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, what's videos?

SPEAKER_01

That's movies. But no, no. Videos to me, if someone says they're gonna watch their videos, oh god, I'm so old school that like I'm thinking like a video like console or chess. Yeah, or yeah, like something like that. But like I'd assume that'd be videos that they're watched, like they've created on their phones, then they're watching their I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04

You've given them too much credit. That's creativity.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, now they watch other people do creativity. They don't really do arts and craft, it's crazy. And you're like, why don't you do that? And they're like, no.

SPEAKER_04

I couldn't possibly do this.

SPEAKER_01

TV quality. What do I do now? And I'm like, you put the stuff on the glue, and they're like, but I'm bored. I'm like, oh for fuck's sake, just watch it then on TV or video or whatever the fuck you want to call it.

SPEAKER_04

Just finish eating that glue and go to bed.

SPEAKER_01

What is Netflix? Oh, I'm sniffing it.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Uh so you've got video shows? What was shows?

SPEAKER_02

Shows is like um Netflix.

SPEAKER_01

No, shows to me would be like television shows. Like you're watching like uh like you know, um Netflix and stuff. Married at first um sight or something, television.

SPEAKER_04

I thought I thought I thought shows was like Netflix and everything. Videos was YouTube and I still recall YouTube screens.

SPEAKER_02

YouTube is screenshots.

SPEAKER_04

Screens, screens, I thought screens was games and stuff on the iPad. See, I thought videos was YouTube and shows and shows was Netflix and stuff. I'm sure it was videos because you'd be like, no, no videos. Videos was YouTube.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you've got to be careful because sometimes Jackson will be like, Oh, I just want to watch something on TV, and I've got to be like, no YouTube. And he's like straight, his head's down. He's like, No, I know watching it for sure the whole time.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, how's he gonna get through Andrew Tate's university course if he doesn't watch it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Uh it's a good question. It's a good question.

SPEAKER_01

Well, some of it's interesting, like he'll watch some he the YouTube stuff where it's like, you know, if you go into a cave and you light a match and it goes out, it's is that you know, unsafe or not, which is interesting because I'm like, I didn't know that. So if I went into a cave, I would have probably died. So that kind of stuff is interesting, but then it does come up with really dumb things. They're like, if you try and breathe underwater, you'll live, or something, something stupid like that. Dumb where I'm like, don't say that.

SPEAKER_04

And to be fair, if I was stuck in a cave, I'd want to die. So like light it up, I say.

SPEAKER_01

No, well, because apparently there's no air or the carbohydrate, like you pass out of something. Like it's not, it's I believe that's the reason. I'm not sure. I've yeah. What's a YouTube video, Tara? Or whatever on my VR.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh videos, not shows.

SPEAKER_01

It's VR. Well, I used to VR, but um, they hacked my VR.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I know. And you know, and it's through Meta as well. I'm gonna complain about this. And if this ever does become a thing, Facebook and Meta are a joke.

SPEAKER_04

Well, do you know they do they just shut down the metaverse?

SPEAKER_01

What?

SPEAKER_04

Like Meta, like they'd spent$80 billion building their VR virtual world, and um, they shut it down this week.

SPEAKER_01

No, are you kidding me? Because I've been emailing because I just want a refund for the subscriptions that I've paid for that I'm now hacked out of. And you know, it's been um two months nearly, and all they keep doing is going, we really appreciate your help here, and you're a val, like a valuable customer. Please give us your ID. I'm like, okay, my ID is this. And then like they're like, We're really taking this serious. And then the next email is, can we please have your ID? I'm like, you fucking read the next, like, read the emails, and you'll see it through. Like, it's to a point where I'm like, I'm actually like, I just want someone to cry to right now, and you're not even giving me a number.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you dropped out for some of that, but I'm okay with that.

SPEAKER_04

They shut the universe down anyway. So yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Uh you didn't kill Joanne. I've got one more, and then we can move on. Saying, I manifested this.

SPEAKER_04

Oh uh no, that's just a crazy person.

SPEAKER_02

That's not smug.

SPEAKER_04

That sounds like me.

SPEAKER_01

Crazy person. I'm manifesting, I have no idea. I have a like a diary where I manifest it, like, yeah, yeah, I'm a crazy person.

SPEAKER_02

What if you're sitting there in like yoga gear, you know, sipping disgusting tasting tea and saying, you know, I manifested the love.

SPEAKER_04

If it works, then it's not even smug, it's just impressive. But it it would it's yet to come. If you can manifest things, you are welcome to be smug about it.

SPEAKER_01

No, because I'm too scared that if I can manifest things, I don't want to share it with people because then they'll manifest as well.

SPEAKER_04

You're hoarding the manifestation.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, 100%. Yeah, so no, it does not work.

SPEAKER_02

We're gonna play Moose Mario Void with a twist now. Okay, Moose Mario Void. A T-Rex, a Velociraptor, and a Triceratops.

SPEAKER_01

We need pictures. Which can you describe them?

SPEAKER_02

You don't know what they look like?

SPEAKER_01

Wait, what were they again?

SPEAKER_02

T-Rex.

SPEAKER_01

T-Rex, I know, because that's the biggest one.

SPEAKER_02

Triceratops has three horns.

SPEAKER_04

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And the velociraptor is that dangerous one that you know clever and kills people, real okay.

SPEAKER_01

Is that the one that goes in packs?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, is this Moose Mario Void the Animals?

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

You do this and then you're like, you bestiality people. Well, they're dinosaurs. Is it bestiality if it's okay? I don't know.

SPEAKER_04

Is there a word for the I think is it bestiality if there is no actual way this could ever happen?

SPEAKER_02

It's hypothetical. It's always hypothetical. It's always hypothetical. Never bestiality. I reckon. We've never committed bestiality. You understand that, right?

SPEAKER_01

Sorry? Oh, really?

SPEAKER_02

I'm acting. So eat so easy.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, get down, dog. Get down. This is acting.

SPEAKER_02

Tara's got a dog there, ready to go.

SPEAKER_01

No, I don't, I don't.

SPEAKER_02

Your dog's not on the list. You're fine. T-Rex, Velociraptor, Triceratops. What do you reckon? I think I have to marry the triceratops because the other ones eat you.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

If I'm gonna long term be around one, it's gonna have to be the triceratops. T-Rex is too big to moose.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Velociraptors are small enough, you could probably moose them. Maybe hold them down so that you could make it. Okay, so now we're into raping bestiality, but surely all bestiality is rape, so it's fine.

SPEAKER_04

Oh well.

SPEAKER_02

Just regularity.

SPEAKER_04

It's fine, it's fine.

SPEAKER_02

On the Velociraptor.

SPEAKER_04

And you would avoid the T-rates.

SPEAKER_02

Obviously.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

What's wrong with you? Anyone else have an opinion? It's different than mine, or you just want to get that over and done with as fast as possible?

SPEAKER_04

Um there's no right answers here. I moose them all. If Tara's gonna let them moose all of these dinosaurs, I will avoid them all.

SPEAKER_01

I say there's well, yeah, as three, and then um Jasmine can marry the rest, and there we go.

SPEAKER_02

If there's no right answers, there's definitely more wrong answers, which is what just said.

SPEAKER_04

I get I get the idea between uh of of marrying the triceratops because it's a herbivore. Um and uh safety sure, definitely safe. Look, uh yeah, I'm not gonna disagree with your options. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Do you want some human options?

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know who they are.

SPEAKER_04

If one of these is the kids, like I'm getting off this thing right now.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that happened in the first episode. I asked Chat GPT to give me options and stuff, and one of them was like the little monkey boy from Jimanji, and I was like, How about we leave kids off the list?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, um, FO, I don't know if um Jasmine told you. I tried to look because she said you're doing videos, so I tried to look on TikTok for your video, and TikTok's like, Are you trying to hurt yourself? Like, because I've got a hundred thousand and one songs that make me want to die or something.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, maybe that's why our um our count keeps. Yeah, that would probably have a lot to do with it. Our follower count's not going up very high.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, well, it was really hard to find like because the videos you had were very like it's you've got to look for it, and I mean you've got to explain that you're not gonna kill yourself over a song.

SPEAKER_02

It's a barrier if you've got to prove your own.

SPEAKER_01

That is a big barrier. Yeah, I'll change the name of it. You've got songs that make you never want to do anything bad.

SPEAKER_02

People might be like, well, no one really asked me, but yeah, I do think I want to die, and then now I'm saving lives. You're saving lives with your podcast.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. I actually started it.

SPEAKER_02

I'm a therapist, I actually properly save lives, but well done, darling. Well done.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Thanks. But anyway, we don't speak of that one.

SPEAKER_02

That one was that's right, that was on the smug list anyway. Uh all right.

SPEAKER_01

That was a training day.

SPEAKER_02

Matt, you're gonna have to explain who they are. Dr. Alan Grant.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, okay. I think that was um that's that's the main archaeologist in the case.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, okay, that's the with the woman. Then Dr. Ian Malcolm, so I think that's um Richard what's his face?

SPEAKER_04

Who was who was it?

SPEAKER_02

Dr. Ian Malcolm. Or is no Malcolm is is Goldblum in it.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, that's Jeff Goldblum. So you've got Jeff Goldblum, you've got yeah, old mate.

SPEAKER_02

And then John Hammond.

SPEAKER_04

Who is the old man, the the Richard Edinburgh dude.

SPEAKER_02

It's funny that I was I always trying to think of his name and I could only think of Richard, and I couldn't think of Edinburgh, which is the part that I should have connected to.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, sure. Um, so you've got Sam Neal, Jeff Goldblum, or Richard Edinburgh.

SPEAKER_02

What a smorgasbord. Oh my god. I'll have one of each.

SPEAKER_04

Um I think you've got to um uh wait, so it's the actual characters from Jurassic Park, right?

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, so you're gonna marry the old man, Richard Edinburgh, because he's a multi-billionaire and he's gonna die for sure. He's gonna die.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Um so you marry him, you moose goblin?

SPEAKER_02

Sexiest of people in that movie, yes.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, and then you avoid Sam Neil, it's a bit of a downer. He's the main character, the archaeologist.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I think I could long term a bit surly. I couldn't long term be around Goldwyn's way of talking.

SPEAKER_04

It's it's very well you were just smashing him, weren't you? You weren't marrying him or whatever.

SPEAKER_02

Short term. Um I am putting Matt in a position here of like forcing him to sit and listen to famous blokes that his girlfriend would want to bring it up.

SPEAKER_01

I listen to it every week. That's more conversation. About the fact that he answered the questions about the men without blinking an eye. Like a yeah, he was like, Oh, okay. Wait, wait, did you? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

He knows the drill. You gotta choose. You gotta choose. There was one uh a Jimmy Carger the other day, someone yelled out to him, You're an inch inside your mum and your dad's an inch inside you. Which way do you move? I know, right? How crazy? You you've got to choose. You don't want to choose any other thing.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Uh yes, I I force him to listen to, but I don't have to talk about him so like enthusiastically, do I?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, you get quite excited some weeks, and I sit down and I'm at work with my AirPods in being like, Oh, there's Jazz again, talking about how she wants to have sex with that guy.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I just use the word small this board, didn't I? Or buffet or something?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Good time. Tara, do you want to weigh in on this before we move on?

SPEAKER_01

Um I'm a bit confused with the characters again because we're all using names and stuff, but um, I think I don't know. I just I have a thing about moosing. I just I don't um I would probably marry the miserable dude.

SPEAKER_00

Um there's no other options.

SPEAKER_04

The miserable guy who's horrible to children. I'll have him.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I feel rushed and I don't I don't know what to say. So I'm like, the miserable person. He sounds like a lovely person to spend the rest of my life with.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you could have just said, I agree with you guys.

SPEAKER_01

I should have said that. You'll you can never go back.

SPEAKER_02

You've been married at four, you're barefoot and pregnant on the dirt floor now. That's all you got married.

SPEAKER_01

I don't care. As long as you're married. I haven't been married, so some people have been married more than once.

SPEAKER_04

I'm always getting married, she loves it.

SPEAKER_01

Sorry, that's right.

SPEAKER_04

Jazza's always getting married.

SPEAKER_02

Until no one was married except for me, and I've been married, yeah, more than once.

SPEAKER_01

Well, it's good that she got married again because I got to be in a second wedding, so Oh, that's nice. Oh, well, not really, because then she's like, you pick your dresses.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god. I think I'm being so benevolent. I'm like, look, I don't care what you wear. Any dress that you've got.

SPEAKER_01

I know how expensive it is, so you pick a nice colour, go with this.

SPEAKER_02

And the girls are just like, no, you need to, you need to tell us what dress we need a specific dress. And I was like, You don't, I don't, it's fine. We don't, I don't need it to look a certain way.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, but there's fabrics and there's colours and there's certainly you're not thinking of the fabrics. Yeah, exactly. Mine had like mesh. I've actually got the dress in front of me right now. Funnily enough.

SPEAKER_02

Yours is what's it's lovely. You all do very much. Why? Why is it in front of you?

SPEAKER_01

Because I put on weight and I've kept it because I'm like, when I get back in this dress, I'll be a happy person. So I'm yet to it's a motivational fabric. Motivation or cry in the corner every now, every day of the about how I'm fat and I don't fit this beautiful dress that I'm never gonna wear because like it's pretty like it's a wedding dress, not a um, you know, but because I paid for it, I have to wear it. I have my formal dress as well from year 12, however long ago that was, and I had still tried that on every now and again. Yeah, that'd be enough.

SPEAKER_02

I used to try my wedding dress on, but that's just because I wasn't getting any wear out of it. I'm like, just sit man, I've been warn. Where's it gonna get more?

SPEAKER_01

What's more depressing is wearing someone else's wedding dress in an op shop.

SPEAKER_04

Oh because you see engagement rings on like Facebook Marketplace and stuff, and you're like I would buy.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, they've got bad juju. You can't buy them. I would buy, no, no, no, I would buy and then I'd um put um I'd buy fuck it. I don't care. What more lot bad? I can't even get married. So if I can get that ring on my fucking finger, I'm pretty happy.

SPEAKER_02

You want to get married? I'm yeah I just want to wear a dress. Okay, we'll talk about this off air.

SPEAKER_01

As I stand in front of the mirror wearing the wedding dress that I bought from the op shop. Yeah, I think I need to see my psychologist.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wedding. Anyway, we'll yeah, we'll we'll talk about that later. Uh well, Matthew, are you ready to get Tara and I to guess which statements are moose and which one is a lie? And me to probably get it wrong as per usual.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yay!

SPEAKER_04

All right, I've got three different ones to do here. So we've got uh yeah, it's uh the idea is you guys have to guess which one the lie is, is that right?

SPEAKER_02

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, cool. Alright, here we go. Uh scenario one. Here we go. Number one, the T-Rex roar is made from a mix of animal sounds, including a dog, penguin, and tiger. Two. The Velociraptors in the film were based partly on the real dinosaur called Dynonzichas.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Every autistic in the world just like cringed up.

SPEAKER_02

Autistic kids should not be listening to these podcasts.

SPEAKER_04

Number three, the actors filmed real scenes with live dinosaurs using animatronics for safety. See, he's alive.

SPEAKER_02

Wait, live dinosaurs?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's a trick question, but it can't be a trick question because you said alive and they're not alive. Wait, no, that is wait, hang on.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, are you trying to make us up dumb, Matt?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Are you asking something so obviously so fucking dumb?

SPEAKER_01

It's a little starter. It's a little starter. It's a little starter. Because technically speaking, like lizards are tiny dinosaurs, but then they would have had to really zoom in on a hot fucking. How do we make this lizard look more sinister? It's not looking cranky enough.

SPEAKER_02

It must be my computer's dropping out because Tara just dropped out for a second, but then Matt was laughing at your joke like it was fantastic.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Alright, well, we're we're right about that. Do you want to do the second one?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, okay. Yeah. So you lie with the real dinosaurs?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I would imagine so.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, okay, good. God. That was a good one. All right, here's the next one. Oh I'm gonna go. Okay. Uh one, the glass of water rippling in the T-Rex scene was created using a guitar string. Two, the movie was the first ever to use CGI dinosaurs on screen. Three, the role of Dr. Grant was originally offered to Harrison Ford.

SPEAKER_01

I think three is correct.

SPEAKER_02

What was the second one again? Can you say that again?

SPEAKER_04

The second was the movie was the first ever to use CGI dinosaurs on screen.

SPEAKER_01

I think that's I think that's two or b or whatever the fuck.

SPEAKER_02

I reckon the Harrison Ford thing is the Y.

SPEAKER_01

No, I reckon the first, wait, the first one is the string.

SPEAKER_02

A guitar string? Yeah. I think it sounds uh real.

SPEAKER_01

No, it's Jurassic Park. They spent so much money. They made dinosaurs, like as if they're gonna use a guitar string for a how else would they make a vibration?

SPEAKER_02

That's a perfect way to make a vibration.

SPEAKER_04

I'll let you guys debate this out. You know, this is fantastic stuff.

SPEAKER_01

I go the guitar string because it just seems poverty.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, uh, but no, this okay, so I've looked up so many of these things, and movie magic is is it can be just so so practical. It doesn't have to be heaps expensive, it can just be really ridiculously practical. I was talking to uh wanky thing to say. I used to be the real estate agent for Miranda Otto, and um she was in clever girl. Yeah. She was in um uh Lord The Lord of the Rings. And she was saying that the name of the race of these you know scary creatures was her, and she had a cold. And so Peter Jackson got her to scream into a mic all day long with a cold, and she had a croaky voice, and that's what made that sound. That's all it was. So I yeah, the tastering.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_04

So what's the lie?

SPEAKER_01

Harrison board. The tar string.

SPEAKER_04

No, yeah, but it's literally the only one you didn't choose. It is that the movie was the first ever to show CGI dinosaurs. That is a lie. It wasn't the first ever.

SPEAKER_01

So there were movies prior to the.

SPEAKER_04

There were movies made before this that had CGI dinosaurs in them.

unknown

God damn it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's a trick.

SPEAKER_02

God damn it. God damn it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, is it a trick? A little bit. A little bit.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, well, I've guessed, yeah. The third one, last. The T-Rex broke through the car roof earlier than expected, genuinely scaring the kids. Two. The Dilophosaurus frill and venom were added for dramatic effect and aren't accurate. Three, the film was shot entirely on location in Costa Rica.

SPEAKER_01

The second one's a lie.

SPEAKER_04

That they added the frill and venom accurate to the dinosaur?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I don't think it did spit. Maybe the frill, but not the spit.

unknown

What venom?

SPEAKER_04

In real when when it existed in the Jurassic.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, in real life. Like, I don't think I'm pretty sure most dinosaurans, whatever you want to call it. Yeah. Would debate that, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_04

But I don't know. That's the best way to finish it.

SPEAKER_02

I'm wrong, okay? Yeah, yeah. What was the first one again?

SPEAKER_04

But the T-Rex broke through the car roof earlier than expected and genuinely scared the kids.

SPEAKER_02

Well that sounds true, but I really feel like the frills being added is probably true as well.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I feel like it'd be too dangerous. Like it sounds like they would have had the kids like, and yeah, they would have been like, this is gonna happen. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

So what's that third one again?

SPEAKER_04

The film was shot entirely on location in Costa Rica. Maybe that'll be that one.

SPEAKER_02

It does look like Costa Rica. It does. But maybe that's that one, that one. Because the other ones, I don't know. I just rule them out for being they seem true.

SPEAKER_01

It's done in Dubbo. But what are you saying? It's a lie.

SPEAKER_02

I'm saying Costa Rica. And I what are you saying, Tara? The the lizard?

SPEAKER_01

Lizard, yeah, lizard for sure. The spitting.

SPEAKER_04

Uh the lie is that it was shot entirely in Costa Rica. It was filmed in Hawaii.

SPEAKER_01

Happy Moose!

SPEAKER_04

That's one happy movie.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know if you recall, but I did say chances are it's probably that one because we didn't pick it.

SPEAKER_04

So technically you definitely hedged your bets on uh on that one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Now this pod usually goes for 30 minutes. It's been 45.

SPEAKER_01

Wow.

SPEAKER_02

So we're gonna speed this up. We're gonna do am I the moose hole? Then we're gonna decide who's the villain, and then we'll be all finished and we can go to Betty Buys. Uh so is that alright? We're happy to move on, everyone.

SPEAKER_04

Do whatever you want. You're the moose.

SPEAKER_00

Tell me my tool.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. Okay, am I the asshole for watching Jurassic Park in my dorm late at night? Okay, so hello, Reddit. I made a throwaway. No, blah blah blah blah blah blah. Just keeping his identity secret. The main problem here, other than potentially my behavior, depending on what you think, is that the dorm I'm staying in was built very recently. I'm a second year, and if my knowledge is correct, my class was the first to actually reside in the building. But due to this, some parts of the building are incomplete. Specifically, the ceilings are unfinished, so there are no gaps between neighbouring rooms right above the walls. Even beyond this, the walls are thin, so neighbors can hear every little noise from one another. At times, this even includes chewing and breathing. Two weeks ago, I started watching Jurassic Park late at night. I'm more of a night owl, so late at night for me means 2 a.m. It's a hundred percent is my favorite film. Like that makes it better. Like, oh, but it's my favorite. But I love it. My favorite film since childhood. No matter how many times I see it, I never get sick of it. Lately I felt a bit homesick, and watching it reminds me of my late grandma.

SPEAKER_01

Jesus Christ! Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02

Also because he seems like a loser. Jurassic Park helps me feel a little bit less isolated. Here's where I might be the asshole. Both my neighbours have complained about the noise. They said they both have classes in the morning and Jurassic Park is keeping them up at night. I'm admitted to this, I truly am, since I also get ticked off when they talk on the phone while I'm trying to sleep. The last time they told me to go to bed, I turned down the volume. They could still hear it though. The thing is, I would watch it with headphones if I could, but I don't have a pair. And like the asshole, I really do empathize with them, but I can't help but feel as though they're a tiny bit hypocritical, since they also kept me up at night.

SPEAKER_04

This guy's a massive piece of shit. Yeah. Yeah. Is there a is that is that a is can you select that? Can it not be an arsehole? He's a piece of shit.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. POS. Yeah. Oh my god. Tara, what are you doing? Is it 2 a.m.

SPEAKER_04

being like, oh, I missed my grandma. I want to see some I want to see a T-Rex eat someone.

SPEAKER_02

Fuck with everyone's day tomorrow because I'm homesick, like it's their problem.

SPEAKER_04

Trying the sleeping just hearing uh dinosaurs dog, penguin, tiger roar mixed together. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Like the world's weirdest porn, and it was like this Jurassic Park, I swear. I watch it with my nana. My scaly nana. At two o'clock in the morning. So yeah, no, that's an asshole.

SPEAKER_02

Well, overwhelmingly, people did say he was an asshole. But no, they didn't say he was a piece of shit. The comments were more like um a gentle, you are the asshole. It's okay to be sad and and homesick. And we understand you'd be shit and do it in regular hours. Yeah, all this like this empathetic stuff, and I'm like, whatever.

SPEAKER_04

But there's no problem with being, yeah, sure, be homesick and be sad about it. Watch it at 6 30 pm. He's an idol. But I don't know. Everyone can have the the best of everything. He gets his Jurassic Park and the wank over the dinosaurs or whatever he's doing, and everyone else gets to go to sleep.

SPEAKER_02

He's the yeah, he's the yeah, there's other ways. He's got choice.

SPEAKER_01

He's even more of an arsehole for throwing in stuff that were making other people feel guilty about it. That stuff.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, he's being more you know what? He's really pissed me off, this guy.

SPEAKER_01

Where does he live? Does it have we'll go sit out the front and put like let's hit him with a car?

SPEAKER_02

If you're having feelings, huh? What I understand is that you could put a movie on in the night and it makes you feel better. So maybe think about doing that. Maybe Jurassic Park or something. Yeah. Don't worry about the neighbors. You feel angry?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, don't worry about it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Alright, well, that's that, except for. Except for who's the villain.

SPEAKER_04

So Yeah, I mean, that's the thing with Jurassic Park, because the dinosaurs are getting a bad rap here, but it's just their nature to be dinosaurs.

SPEAKER_02

They're animals.

SPEAKER_04

Danny Andrees, the scientist. Yeah, is it is it Richard Addenbrough? Is he the villain?

SPEAKER_01

Yes. It actually upsets me. And like when like they put them on the island and then the island in a different Jurassic one and it starts like exploding or the volcanoes going off and all these poor little like these poor little, poor big animals. Literally just they've got nowhere to go. They have to get burnt either alive or drown because they're so big and they don't swim. And it was heartbreaking, and it really upset me with the like, you know, scientists need to leave shit alone.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, down with science, I say.

SPEAKER_01

Don't let leave school, fucking smoke cigarettes. Well, don't, because that's too expensive. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that's why.

SPEAKER_01

Tara's advice. This is why people don't want to.

SPEAKER_04

It's probably cheaper than sniffing petrol at the moment, though. Oh fucking ocean.

SPEAKER_02

I was gonna do email. Think of how rich I'll be. Uh Dennis Nedri. Dennis Nedry shuts down the entire park for money, steals embryos in a shaving cream can like a chaotic little gremlin, and causes literally everything to go wrong. He's a traditional villain. There's a secret villain, John Hammond, the old builds a dinosaur park with zero proper safety systems, underpays staff, which leads to Nedry sabotaging everything, ignores every warning and says spares no spared no expense while clearly sparing expense. It was expense spared.

SPEAKER_04

Um it was really easy to sabotage that entire park.

SPEAKER_02

It was way too easy, and and yeah, they just like a button. Yeah, literally a button. This was not approved. He's not evil, but he's dangerously delusional. And then we've got the big idea villain, which is we can do it, but should we do it? You know, we can build this park.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um, monetizing the dinosaurs, give you know, given that it wasn't proven that people would be safe. Um, but money, money, money, money, money.

SPEAKER_04

What do they do with the flying dinosaurs? In a cage.

SPEAKER_01

A big cage. Yeah, and they do the walkthrough where they can literally like just hang on the cage and you walk through and be like, oh hey, whatever.

SPEAKER_04

Like those shit, like the shit bird um uh sanctuaries at the zoo that you walk through. You're like, yeah, don't give a shit about the birds in here. There's birds out there as well.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, well, it's the fun are the ones when you can actually like go in and the birds can fly on you, but unfortunately that one, unless they made it like fun and they were like, it will pick you up and fly you from here to there. That would be but sometimes we do lose a few casualties along the way.

SPEAKER_02

That's basically shark diving, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01

Pretty much. It is actually. It's just interesting. Shark diving. Bird flying. I'd do it.

SPEAKER_02

I think, yeah, the villain might be just rich men with ideas. You know, people with too much money maybe are pretty evil. They're villains.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, they get bored. Yeah, but you know, they're not on like Epstein's island, are they? They're on dinosaur islands.

SPEAKER_01

I was like, it's just dinosaurs on that one.

SPEAKER_04

Which, like, if you've got to flip a coin here and you've got to go Epstein or Dinosaur, what what island's better?

SPEAKER_01

Epstein, I mean dinosaurs.

SPEAKER_04

So it's fine as long as it's not just I mean, technically there were kids being abused on both islands.

SPEAKER_02

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02

Um, I think they were being endangered.

SPEAKER_04

Maybe islands. Islands are the villains.

SPEAKER_01

Well, just burn all the islands and then nothing bad will happen.

SPEAKER_04

I like it. Tara's on to something. Let's run with that.

SPEAKER_02

Burn all the islands.

SPEAKER_04

That's the name of the episode. You got it.

SPEAKER_02

Tara, Australia's an island. Burn them all.

SPEAKER_01

Fuck. Yeah, my educational skills. Go to school. I need to go back to school.

SPEAKER_02

It's just a piece of land that's surrounded on all sides by water. You know, it's weird.

SPEAKER_01

I should know this. I do know this. I it's it's it's late. You know, honestly, like, yeah, going to Sydney. Sometimes if I like turn too hard, I'm like, oh, am I still going to Sydney? Like, I'm just it's my direction is just so confusing.

SPEAKER_02

I'm gonna make you feel better now. Tara, do you remember when we were teenagers and I turned onto the freeway into the wrong side of the road?

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god. I remember when you used to drive away and you're like, goodbye, and then like you'd just like jump like bunny hop up the street with smoke belling out the back of your car, and the look on your face, you're so scared. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I just got my peas, and it was a manual, and it was this terrible shit car with a gib was packing it in.

SPEAKER_01

And she parked behind, yeah. Yeah, she parked behind someone. No, someone, yeah, someone was in you parked in front of someone, and we're on a little bit of a hill, and they had you could fit like a bus in between us and the car behind us, but she's like, Maybe they think I'm gonna roll back, and like they were like, Oh my god, but you were just jumping everywhere.

SPEAKER_02

Sorry, that's not as bad as turning onto the wrong side of a freeway. I don't mean a little street, I mean I turned onto the wrong side of a freeway. And then I had to do a U-turn to get big going the street. It was just that the you you would cut you, I was coming off the freeway and turning onto like a major highway, but the I was in the lead, so I know what to follow. And the the part that you were driving on to the left-hand side of the cement, I couldn't even see it. So I thought I was just on one road, but I but they're all with unbroken lines for some reason.

SPEAKER_01

No, my nanna did that when she got back from the UK, and then she said that it was because um they drive on the wrong side of the road. But I'm 90% sure just recently someone told me that in the UK they drive on the same side of the road. Yeah, same side, yeah. Yeah, so I'm a bit like and I only just discovered that because I was like, oh my god, like you need to like, you know, just drive around for a bit when you get back from Australia just to get used to being on the right side of the road. And like, yeah, if I had yeah, flown over there and realized anyway.

SPEAKER_02

Can I do something? Can I do something fun just before we wrap? Uh, I want to just give you some some potential facts about this movie. They're from JetGPT, but just things that I thought you might find fun to know. If they're true. Spielberg wasn't even there for part of the filming. He was remotely directing Schindler's List at the same time.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, that is true. He he had both both movies were nominated for uh Best Picture at the Academy Awards. Just casually making two iconic films at yeah, he made Shindler's List in Jurassic Park the same year. I haven't seen Schindler's List. It's pretty fun, fun movie. Um if you're in the lists.

SPEAKER_02

If you're saying what's Shindler mean though, if you're into lists, is Shindler a person?

SPEAKER_01

Is it like a hit list? Oh my god. It's a true story. Okay, I need to watch it.

SPEAKER_04

You'll need to watch it. Oh, it's just it's you know, yeah. When I if you do watch it and then listen to this back where I say it's a real fun movie, then you'll be like, oh, that wasn't fun at all.

SPEAKER_01

He lied. Yeah. Sarcasm, I can't tell it all over the phone. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I don't think it's like the boy in the striped pajamas, which if you see it then you can't unsee it, and that's really awful. Whereas Shinla.

SPEAKER_04

Why what makes you think Shinla's List isn't like that?

SPEAKER_02

Uh, it's it I didn't yeah, there's no way to say that I wasn't as sad at as that.

SPEAKER_04

I wasn't as sad at the fact that it was millions of Jews that were dying. That one in that movie really got me.

SPEAKER_03

Well, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_02

The six million in Shindler's List really just made me sad because he didn't really. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah. I can't believe they killed a Christian.

SPEAKER_02

I have to stop talking right now. Okay, the storm during the filming was real. Hurricane and Niki hit Hawaii during filming. Destroyed sets, shut down production temporarily.

SPEAKER_04

Oh no way.

SPEAKER_02

Um the T-Rex couldn't see you if you stood still, is not true. So the movie said the T-Rex vision is movement based, but in reality it would see you and eat you.

SPEAKER_04

Right.

SPEAKER_02

So his best advice, do not test.

SPEAKER_04

There's no way they know that for sure.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, that's true, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I don't even know what they look like.

SPEAKER_02

Originally the dinosaurs were going to be stop motion. The CGI test was so good Spielberg changed everything. But there are only about six minutes of CGI dinosaurs in the whole film.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Six minutes. And the rest of the film's just around that. No wonder Cal goes, this is getting boring because he's just waiting for those moments to happen, and the rest of it's just talking, people talking. That's it. I thought they were fun facts.

SPEAKER_04

They are fun.

SPEAKER_02

I'd make fun of fun facts. I'll make a stinger that goes, fun facts, fun facts.

SPEAKER_04

You just got it. That is the stinger. Just cut that out.

SPEAKER_02

I've cut that out.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Uh well, I I don't know if we we haven't nailed down the villain. I don't really think it was a villain's islands.

SPEAKER_04

Didn't we say it was islands? Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_01

And to burn them all except Australia, obviously.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, obviously. Once the land mass is over a certain size, it's no longer an island. So yeah. The little islands.

SPEAKER_01

Well, that's what I thought. I thought that I had to be a particular size. Matt, you that's make it an island.

SPEAKER_02

What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_01

Don't worry. That's why I'm not a teacher.

SPEAKER_02

All right, well, that's that's us. All done for the week. So happy 20th episode. And yay!

SPEAKER_04

Good work.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, thanks. Thanks, guys, and we'll see y'all next time.

SPEAKER_04

No.

unknown

Bye.

SPEAKER_04

Well.