Hakuna Matata… Except there's lots of worries.

This week on Moose on the Loose, Jasmin and Tara dive headfirst into the emotional chaos that is The Lion King — and somehow end up debating incest, bug smoothies, and whether a coconut song is secretly about boobs.

We unpack:

• Why Zazu is singing about coconuts right before being eaten
• Whether Disney is sneakily inappropriate (or we’re just overthinking everything)
• The actual Lion King plot… when you remove the childhood nostalgia filter

Plus:

• A wildly unhinged recap you didn’t ask for
• “Two Mooses and a Lie” (featuring suspicious Disney facts)
• Moose, Marry, Avoid: Lion King edition
• And our most disturbing game yet… Bug Buffet 🤢

It’s chaotic, it’s slightly cursed, and it will absolutely ruin at least one food for you.

Hakuna Matata… or don’t.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:27

Welcome back to Moose on the Loose, the podcast where I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. Diddle Dee Dee Dee, there they are. We're standing in a row. Bum bum bum bum bum. Huh?

SPEAKER_03 0:38

Yeah. I like it.

SPEAKER_02 0:40

So my mom, when I was a teenager, told me I wasn't allowed to sing that.

SPEAKER_03 0:45

Oh god. Actually, I'm like so off topic. But I remember I used to have a friend that used to always sing, Jesus Christ, superstar. And her mom used to lose her shit. She used to hate it. She's like, don't say that word in that house. Oh, because because of the price for me? Well, saying Jesus Christ. Because people would go, Jesus Christ, and she'd be like, don't say that. And then that'd be like superstar.

SPEAKER_02 1:11

Oh, Christian lady, I suppose. Well, um, I was thinking about how mum wouldn't let me sing that song. And then I was like, Is it is it about boobs? Like, is it? Like, is that was she right? So I looked into it. No, it's literally about selling coconuts. And so the lyrics are big ones, small ones, some as big as your head, give them a twist, a flick of the wrist. That's what the showman said, which still sounds like it's about boobs. And then it goes on, I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. Every ball you throw will make me rich. There stands me wife, the idol of me life, sing and roll up, bowl a ball, a penny a pitch. So I think they might be bowling with coconuts. Um, so I kind of went down this rabbit hole. But the theory behind using it in The Lion King, spoiler alert, everyone, we're doing the Lion King today, is that it's like a nod to like dry English humor because Zazu, who sings that song in the movie, is voiced by Rowan Atkinson, and he's like, he's an you know an English comedian. And also it's like a very dark theme that he's in a cage, he's gonna get eaten. But the king, who's like a twisted guy who's not supposed to be the king, he's like playing with his food, he's like torturing, making him sing before he eats him. Anyway, it got deep. It got deep. I think there's anything you want to say. I just feel like I talked for 10 minutes. Is there anything you want to say?

SPEAKER_03 2:41

They usually have some quiet, like they will say things like Josh was saying before that apparently the dust storm it spells sex, but uh Disney says that like it's S F X, not S-E-X. So I think there are a few underlining things in a lot of movies if you start deep diving into that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_02 3:02

Yeah, Disney. I think the kids hear it one way and the adults hear it another way. I think that's a bit on brand for Disney. But anyway, so the Lion King, let's do a recap. Yeah, okay. Oh my god. This recap, I may not get through it. So there's two Lion Cubs, one's a prince, one is just another female lion cub in the pride. But if you think about a pride, they all have the same dad. There's only one male lion in the pride. So I assume they're actually siblings that later on fuck as adults. Well, when you put it that way, it's kind of incest, but it's have you seen that meme where they're like they do the lion king if it was real and he's like, oh hey, so I'm your king now. That means I'm gonna fuck you and all the other females in this pride, including your mother.

SPEAKER_03 3:52

Oh, I haven't seen that one, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:56

Okay, so there's two kids, they always get up to mischief. And the oh god, if you haven't seen The Lion King, I'm sorry, I'm gonna spoil this for you, but the uncle sets the kid up to look like he's needed rescuing from his very powerful king father. His name was Mufasa, and during the rescue, Mufasa gets killed. It's the most devastating thing.

SPEAKER_03 4:24

It's so sad. It is one of the most devastating. Again, Disney are really good at hitting really uh traumatizing moments in people's childhoods. But um Mufasa is allegedly the brother of um no no scars the yeah, scars his brother, so he's Simba's uncle. Yeah, so if he kills him, then he becomes king.

SPEAKER_02 4:46

Yeah, he wants to kill his brother so he can be the king. I don't know why he's still doing slinking around the the pride. Mufasa should have chased him off if it was anyway, it's cartoon. But uh he sets him up so that he dies. Simba, the child, believes that it was his fault. He runs off into the wilderness, meets a pig and a uh uh mere cat, and they take care of him until Scar, the uncle who's now taken over, just over like he lets the hyenas come in because they helped him kill the king. He lets them come in and kill every animal anywhere around. The whole ecosystem's thrown out, the grass dies. I don't know why. Because if you kill every wildebeest, there's no one to eat the grass, would it not just flourish?

SPEAKER_03 5:37

Very true.

SPEAKER_02 5:38

Very, very true, and it goes all gray and dark anyway. And then Nala, who is maybe Simba's sister, but obviously, you know, he's looking to fuck her eventually. She goes off to find help and finds him and brings him back again with the spoiler alert. He realizes that it was Scar's fault that his dad dies, and he gets revenge, and he becomes the new king. And they every time someone has a king baby, they hold the baby lion up on this giant rock, and all the animals come around, they bow. And there's this controversy at the moment that the song that gets sung over that means, look, oh my god, it's a lion. But the person who like I think wrote that song was like, that's not what it means. It means this is the king, and fuck you for saying that. And I think they tried to sue that comedian for like $37 million. That seems excessive. That seems like more than they've probably lost from the slander.

SPEAKER_03 6:41

Well, an interesting fact as well that if it it was actual real life, then when Simba comes back and takes over, he would have to go and kill every single cub because technically speaking, it's not his blood. So they should do a horror version.

SPEAKER_02 7:02

He should let the female ones grow up so he can fuck him.

SPEAKER_03 7:04

And then he fucked really twistedly. I don't know why. I don't but just how you say it is just very like you could fuck them.

SPEAKER_02 7:13

I'm just thinking like a lion. I'm thinking like a lion now, you see.

SPEAKER_03 7:16

Oh, I don't know. That's like they're pretty lazy, they just sleep all day.

SPEAKER_02 7:23

Until yeah, until they actually have to get up and do something, then they're pretty powerful. Yeah, why are the guys so strong? What's that about? Where do they get their muscles from?

SPEAKER_03 7:36

Who?

SPEAKER_02 7:37

The the male lions, like they're not working out.

SPEAKER_03 7:41

All the females, probably.

SPEAKER_02 7:43

They should just have jacked hinequarters and nothing in the front, you know. Although I suppose they probably are holding the women down.

SPEAKER_03 7:50

No, no, no, no, they're always ready to fight because any male can come in and you know you might have it really, really good, but then you have to fight off every single male that's like, I can take you, I'm gonna take you on.

SPEAKER_02 8:03

I mean, how often does that happen? How are they keeping their muscles in between? I think they kill on, hang on. Oh no, we're good, we're good, we're good. I had two Zen casters open and I looked at one of them and it was error, and I was like, oh my god, that recorded. We're gonna have to say Simba wants to fuck these baby lions like 15 more times again, like we can redo it. Like, oh crap, we're gonna have to say this all again. I don't think you can come up with it again. This is genuinely stuff that I'm saying as I come up with it. If I had a filter, I wouldn't say it, you know. Okay, so Simba is a Nepo baby prince. Um, Scar's obviously a jealous uncle, been looked over, everything. Mufasa, very emotionally available king, which is a pretty rare thing, I reckon. Uh, Timon and Pumba, very much my spirit animals, avoidant coping mechanisms. I I'm all on board with their everything that they believe in. Um, is that I think that's a good cover. I think we're done. We can do our first game. Ready? It's two moose isn't a lie. Yay! Yeah, moose me, baby. Oh no. Oh my god, what happened?

SPEAKER_03 9:28

Did you decide you didn't want to moose me after all? No, because oh my god, this would always, always, always happen. Okay, that's okay. I can make this up on the spot because I'm really good at doing that. Um, because I messaged you and I was like, I'll do it. And then I was like, oh wait, no, I did it last time and I fucked it up.

SPEAKER_02 9:48

Oh yeah, no, you did. You said it's your turn, and I was like, Yeah, man. Okay, no, I've got one, I've got one. I always keep one just in case. Okay, here we go. Hyenas were originally going to be voiced by stand-up comedians. Hakuna Matata almost got cut from the movie. Disney had to turn down Scar because he was too sexy.

SPEAKER_03 10:13

Okay, well, that one's a lie. Um okay, I've done a bit of research on this, so I'm gonna have to go the middle one. What did it give you the same ones when you looked them up? Well, I tried to ask different questions because I'd assume that you would have asked the same questions too. So I'm trying to spice up my questioning.

SPEAKER_02 10:29

But I said, give me two mooses and a lie.

SPEAKER_03 10:33

Yeah, well, the first one's a lie, and this last one's a lie because they were gonna cut Ikuna Matada because apparently they're gonna make the song about Pumba's flatulence, which I can't say.

SPEAKER_02 10:46

There is a song about his flatulence, there's a whole song about that. My my research, my very extensive research that involved one question into Chat GPT, indicates that Disney had to the lie is that they did not have to tone down Scar because he was too sexy. They haven't toned him down, he was never sexy. That's not true.

SPEAKER_03 11:09

Yeah, I said that was a lie.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

No, you said it was the Hakuna Matada thing. That's the truth. Yeah, that's actually true. Yeah, is that what you were saying? Oh fuck, we're so fucking bad. What's wrong with us? Moving this at all. Moving on. What's wrong with us? I mean let's do let's do Moose Marry Avoid. And then I've got two fucking bangers of games. Bangers! So let's just get this out of the way. Okay, Marry, avoid. Uh, the chick hyena, Zazu, and a random antelope from the stampede.

SPEAKER_03 11:52

Oh, okay. So the hyena female, which is Whoopi Goldberg. Um, I'd marry her. I reckon she'd be pretty funny. I oh, I don't know. Actually, she laughs a lot at you. Have you seen her on the view? She seems stressful. I don't know. I haven't really watched the view, but I've seen memes on the view of them just talking like and like quack, crack, quack, qura, qura, quack, crack, crack crack, and then someone lays an egg. Oh my god. I've seen whatever you've seen. They're just putting shit on it. But um, okay, so I would uh which is the other one? Rafaki. Which one's Rafaki? Holy shit, it's Rafiki.

SPEAKER_02 12:35

There wasn't an option, and it's definitely not Rafaki. Oh my god. What was the third one? It was a random antelope from the stampede. The second one was Zazu. Oh, which is Rowan Atkinson. We can also moose the people that voice them, I reckon.

SPEAKER_03 12:51

Oh, yeah. Okay. I would marry Rowan that one.

SPEAKER_02 12:56

Yeah, he'd be hoot to live with. I know Rowan Atkinson for sure. I like him.

SPEAKER_03 13:00

Yeah, and I probably moose the moose. Because all the because it looks like a moose, and you know.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

You would have the only thing there that you couldn't make into a human. Wow.

SPEAKER_03 13:14

I've got a thing about moose thing. We've we've yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:18

Okay, I would um I think I'd I'd yeah, same thing. I'd marry Rowan at consent, but I'd have rules about like no making Mr. Bean faces in bed. I don't want that. I don't want his ears and his eyes bugging out and stuff and making noises, like, you know, Mr. Bean noises in bed. No, none of that.

SPEAKER_03 13:39

But how because you know how he's like, you know, he's like look at the water and he looks at the water and he's like, and like does all these like he won't just tell you, he'll give you a cryptic clue. So I'd be like, just fucking tell me. And he'd be like, Well, if you looked beyond the scope of this, I'd be like, I can't.

SPEAKER_02 13:56

Are you talking about Mr. Bean or some other thing that Rowan Atkinson is in? Because he doesn't in Mr. Bean, he goes, and that's all he says.

SPEAKER_01 14:06

I don't know, I don't can't, he doesn't speak.

SPEAKER_03 14:09

Well, I'm really good at picking up movies too, you know, so probably.

SPEAKER_02 14:13

Okay, what about between Mufasa Scar and Rafiki?

SPEAKER_03 14:21

Okay. Rafaki? Uh um, Rafa. Not Rafaki. He's never Rafaki. Rafiki's the baboon. Yes. Very wise. Um, I think I would have to marry Mufasa because he is attractive. Like he's so manly and so fatherly, and just he's just, I don't know, he's hot ass. Right.

SPEAKER_02 14:44

Thank you. See, there's a loophole here where I'm like, I'd have to marry Mufasa because then I can moose him every goddamn day. Because I'm in love with that hot lion. And if Cherie was here, she'd say, Oh no, no, no, Kovu is the hot lion. And I'd say, no, no, Cherie, no, no, I have daddy issues, therefore, Mufasa is the hot lion. And then she'd talk about Kovu for like 15 minutes. Um anyway, Kovu's not on list. It's um, and and I I obviously I think you know, if it's I'm avoiding scar. Everyone's just avoiding scar. He's the fucking worst. So I'd have to just have sex with that monkey one time, just one time.

SPEAKER_03 15:20

I don't know, because I'd moose Scar just to like moose him hard in places that he would regret because he killed Mafasa. You're gonna rape him for revenge, revenge rape on a lion. Well, if he gives some, he gets some. Like, I don't care. That's rude. Yeah, right.

unknown 15:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

Okay. Uh, would you like to play my my game that I designed specifically for this episode? And I'm like super, super proud of it.

SPEAKER_03 15:55

I'm very much looking forward to it. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:07

Welcome to the world buffet. Shake your heads and grab a tray.

unknown 16:21

Welcome to the world buffet, eat and dance okay as a way.

SPEAKER_00 16:29

It's a bad buffet. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 16:35

But my God, it goes for a bit.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's the one time it's ever gonna be on this podcast. So it's like, you know, give it its moment in the sun. Uh, I'm gonna give you two pairs of types of like grubs, and you have to choose one to eat. Okay. All right. Okay, okay, here we go. Slime-filled grub, which explodes in your mouth, or a crunchy beetle with the legs still attached. Oh, yeah, wait till the second one. This is nothing. This is like a warm-up.

SPEAKER_03 17:04

What do you mean? Every time, I swear last time you were like, what would annoy you more?

SPEAKER_01 17:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:14

Um, okay. Oh, yeah, the crunchy bug.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

Oh, you'd rather eat a crunchy bug than a slime-filled grub that explodes in your mouth. 100%, yes. I agree. I agree with that. Good tick. We get one point for getting the same. Okay. Two, chocolate-covered ants, you can still feel them moving, or a warm worm smoothie with chunks.

SPEAKER_03 17:37

Oh, the ants with chocolate for sure.

SPEAKER_02 17:40

That's yeah. That warmer warm you can't actually say it, it's hard to say. Warm worm smoothie with chunks is the worst sentence.

SPEAKER_03 17:49

Warm worm smoothie.

SPEAKER_02 17:51

It's not I don't mean it's because it's hard to say, I mean it's disgusting.

SPEAKER_03 17:55

Like, that's gonna be so hard for me to say.

SPEAKER_02 17:58

Warm smoothie. Warm worm smoothie. Yeah, you slow it down, it's easier. All right, deep fried scorpion with the tail intact. I don't know what that means. I don't know if it poisons you or something. Or raw wriggling worms straight from the ground.

SPEAKER_03 18:13

Okay. All right. Well, when I went to Thailand, I was really excited because I wanted to try um some type of insect. Um, the only thing that I came across was actual scorpion. It was like black scorpion that was fried, I'm assuming, because it was dead, it was on a stick. Um, unfortunately, I lost the lady and I never got it, which I will forevermore regret. But um, the scorpion for sure.

SPEAKER_02 18:38

I know why you regret that. I saw fucking spiders getting cooked over there on.

SPEAKER_03 18:44

I don't think I could do it if you've watched it alive, but I would try any type of insect as long as it's kind of cooked. Kind of cooked, okay. Not squid or anything like that, because I'm scared of squid getting stuck.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

Squid, you can actually eat squid, it's not an insect. Okay, mystery jungle bug, so you don't get to see it first, or a handful of ants that bite your mouth while you eat them. This is a tricky one.

SPEAKER_03 19:11

Yeah, I don't like the fact that I don't know what I'm eating. You know, like I'd go the ants. Oh, the bitey ants.

SPEAKER_02 19:19

Yeah, how they can't like they can't hang on for long. I think it'd be so bad. Oh my god, to be bitten in the mouth by ants. I'm choosing the mystery jungle bug. It's it's just one, I presume one bug?

SPEAKER_03 19:29

One What if it was a silkworm?

SPEAKER_02 19:31

What happened what happens with silkworms?

SPEAKER_03 19:33

It's like a squishy bug with slime. Well, he might give me some silk and I'll be rich. It would take you a long time. It would, but it you'd have it it would take you like years and years and years, and it would be an ugly silk coloured thing. There's a process.

SPEAKER_02 19:47

Plus, I'd I'd have eaten him, so I don't know if it would do that much good in the end. Okay, what about grub ice cream melting slightly alive or beetle boba tea? So they pop but not like boba.

SPEAKER_03 20:00

You're a sick woman, Jasmine. You get so much excitement from it, too. Oh, why the popping, the popping they're gross. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:13

Actually, I had this conversation with Matt today where he said he likes lint chocolate, and I was like, I can eat it if it's been in the fridge, but otherwise, it like pops like a pimple in your mouth. He's like, I really like them. I'm like, You because you like when pop pimples pop in your mouth? Is that what this is? He's like, it's chocolate. And I'm like, pimple chocolate. We just use the conversations that we're having.

SPEAKER_03 20:34

Um I forget now. I'm thinking about chocolate and whether or not it tastes like if I could gross myself out about thinking of it being a pimple. Because I'm really good at doing shit like that.

SPEAKER_02 20:45

Think about lint chocolate, the balls, and you you suck on them a bit and then a little hole and pop and the liquid comes out. It's fucking gross.

SPEAKER_03 20:53

Yeah, I don't know. It's all right. No, it's kind of nice. I don't know. It's good. It's like a yeah, I I approve of it. How many more of these do you want?

SPEAKER_02 21:03

Because I've got so many.

SPEAKER_03 21:04

Okay, what's your grossest? Let's go.

SPEAKER_02 21:05

Let's do it. My grossest bug that screams when you bite it, or a bug that bursts with warm liquid. It's always the warm liquid, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 21:16

The screaming. Oh I don't know about the screaming. I'd feel bad about the screaming.

SPEAKER_02 21:23

I'd have to I don't feel bad for bugs.

SPEAKER_03 21:27

If it's screaming, then it's feeling pain. It's scared. Like obviously, it's got an emotion there.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

If anything is bite its head off.

SPEAKER_03 21:35

Yeah. I don't know. It's the same as like crabs and stuff. Apparently, they make a squealy noise when you put them in the hot water.

SPEAKER_01 21:40

Oh, that's sad. Oh, that's a crab. I don't feel that way about crabs.

SPEAKER_03 21:44

Oh, it depends what kind of crabs we're talking about. Speaking of which, have you ever had crabs?

SPEAKER_02 21:53

No, I have not had neither have I. It sounds like you might have had crabs. Alright, next one. Let's go. Uh do you want another one or do you is that is that plenty?

SPEAKER_03 22:07

I feel like it's almost like A SMR or whatever it is. I hate it, but I can't fucking skip it. Let's go.

SPEAKER_02 22:16

Okay, two more. One huge bug that you have to bite into, or ten tiny bugs crawling at once.

SPEAKER_03 22:23

These are all very similar, actually. Um we'll go to the smaller ones crawling.

SPEAKER_02 22:28

Yeah, I agree. Biting into it, that's fucked. What about a cooked bug that smells disgusting or a raw bug that tastes fine but moves?

SPEAKER_03 22:39

Raw bug that tastes fine but moves. It would wig me out, yes, but if it tastes fine, I'll be okay with that.

SPEAKER_02 22:45

I would just I'd hold my nose and have this stinky one.

SPEAKER_03 22:49

Ew. No, no, so much. But yes, interesting. Thank you, Jasmine, for again ruining my afternoon.

SPEAKER_02 22:57

Um, you're welcome. That was the bug buffet.

SPEAKER_03 23:00

Yay!

SPEAKER_02 23:00

Yay! I'm really proud of that game because ChatGPT is terrible at coming up with games, so I've got to come up with them. You need Jasmine original.

SPEAKER_03 23:07

You need to be like, have you had dinner yet? And if you haven't, either eat now or if you're not good with food, maybe wait till after dinner.

SPEAKER_02 23:16

Like to do a game with you so that you don't pass because yeah. Oh, I keep making you feel sick. You come to talk to me and I make you feel sick when we chat.

SPEAKER_03 23:27

No, it's a good one. Like I didn't realise there'd be food in this. Like Jackson does it to me all the time. Like I always dry reach. Like if anything goes, like if there's a weird smell, smells funny, I can't. Like my brain instantly goes to you should drink it. And I don't know why it does that, but then I like I don't drink it, but then the smell of it and all that is enough for my brain to like actually fantasize about drinking off milk and I start throwing up all drugs.

SPEAKER_02 23:54

That is the worst thing I've ever heard. You need to see a counsellor. But have you seen that? Um Okay. Have you seen that new um My Weird Fetishes or whatever it's called? My weird addiction, my strange addiction. And she fucking sucks, she she blends all of her food up and sucks it up her nose through a straw and drinks all of her food as a smoothie, but through her nose. Have you seen it?

SPEAKER_03 24:21

No, I have not. Oh my god, it's like milk and everything. They could they had to eat like cremations or something, they couldn't stop eating.

SPEAKER_02 24:28

Oh yuck.

SPEAKER_03 24:32

That's weird.

SPEAKER_02 24:33

What about the one that was eating nappies? She was eating like she would get her friend's baby's nappies full of shit and piss, and then she got pregnant, and the partner's like, I'm just worried because she's gonna have a nappy factory. And I'm like, You should be worried because you're in a relationship with this person, you made a baby with her. That part you got wrong.

SPEAKER_03 24:50

That I was gonna get some weird, like because people used to tell me that, oh, I fell pregnant and cement, like I just had to eat cement and rocks in my mouth, and I was like, the fuck is wrong with you? And then I was scared that I was gonna turn into this weirdo that was gonna be like, I don't know, eating soil at midnight because that's what you know happened.

SPEAKER_02 25:10

Well, I think that's yeah, you just take some iron tablets, don't you? You just you just go and take the thing that you're clearly deficient in and I'd have like a devil baby growing inside of me. You'd have a devil baby if you took iron? Is that what you just said?

SPEAKER_03 25:25

Well, if I'm craving some weird food where I need to eat cement or soil or something like that, then I would put it down to it's a devil baby.

SPEAKER_02 25:33

So what do you do with the devil baby when it comes out? Now that you know it's a devil baby because it was trying to make you eat rocks.

SPEAKER_03 25:40

Forevermore study up on devil babies and how to get the devil out of the baby.

SPEAKER_02 25:45

Oh, you're exercising the baby. Yep, okay, all right. That's a good mum. That's a good mum. That's not I was thinking leave it to the pixies. You know how they used to take them in the forest and leave them in the tree, and then the pixies would come and kill them. Oh my god. I've been watching Outlander. Eat soil, get rid of it. Okay, I'm not a doctor. Do not get your medical uh you know answers, I suppose, from this podcast. Uh I got I got another thing. You ready?

SPEAKER_03 26:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:33

Okay. I don't know how I feel about this one. Am I the asshole for not skipping a certain scene while watching Lion King with my younger cousin? So this happened about a month ago, but I've still been arguing with my family about this. I was babysitting my 11-year-old cousin, and he'd never seen The Lion King before. And to my dismay, as that was my favorite movie growing up, I thought I was doing him a favor, introducing him to a cultural masterpiece. But it turns out I could not have he could not have cared less. And he was playing on his iPad the entire time anyway, which is very much like my kids. I try and show them Disney. They're like, This is a bit boring, and I'm like, You will respect my childhood. It says where the problem arose was when I didn't think to skip over Mufatha's Mufasa's death scene. Never in a million years did I actually think that was even a thing. But alas, and I don't know who says alas, but anyway, they've typed in alas. When his parents come to pick him up and ask what we did, and I told them what we watched, they questioned me if I made sure to skip over that part. I was like, uh what? It caused a huge scene, a big fight that still hasn't been resolved. I don't know what this is to fight about. He's shown it to them. What are you gonna do? I really didn't even say anything. It is mostly one-sided about how I'm so irresponsible and opening their kid up to that sort of violence is gonna ruin his life. The most I said was this generation is gonna grow up weird as fuck if you control every aspect of their life like this. What's next? He's not allowed to ride bikes with his friends without you driving in your car next to them. He says, I would obviously never tell someone how to raise their kid, but he's 11, and I'd understand their position more if he was like four or five, but he's definitely seen far worse at that age, right? Am I the asshole?

SPEAKER_03 28:15

Not at all.

SPEAKER_02 28:17

Yeah, I agree. That's crazy. That's absolutely crazy.

SPEAKER_03 28:21

Yeah, this like I it is fuck. I like how he describes that because they so like I don't know, kids. I had a meltdown uh like yesterday about Easter because I was like, it made me sad because I'm like, my mum was so cranky and she's like, you enjoy this, and I enjoyed it. But now doing it for the kids, they're always bored and they always just get over it super quickly, and it's just yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:43

Get over what having Easter?

SPEAKER_03 28:45

Yeah, well, everything they're because they're at that age where it's kind of boring, so it's really hard to try and find, which we managed to do, but like to try and make it still fun for the pre-teens or the ones that are just turning into teens.

unknown 28:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 29:01

So yeah, we got white shirts and I got tie-dye and got gave the parents water guns and was like, just shoot the kids and get the kids to, you know, just if they're warm R shoot them, if they're cold R shoot them. I don't know, I don't care. It just have fun. And the adults had fun shooting the kids, and the kids had fun getting shot at by tie dye. And the shirts look really awesome too.

SPEAKER_02 29:22

Well, that does have fun, actually. They might do it like that. Um, well, the overwhelming consensus was not the asshole, and one of the comments was I had to watch Mufasa die, and this kid should too.

SPEAKER_03 29:34

Well, amen to that. Okay, we had to live that trauma, but we learnt what death was like, and we had to learn that you know, people we love, you know, can die. So, what is gonna happen with these kids that don't see that when their loved ones actually do pass away? They are going to, you know, I don't know, they'll probably just keep looking at their iPad or phone and like don't you reckon, like in that case, he probably can't watch any Disney movie, he can't watch Bambi's mum gets shot, which is like the second saddest thing ever in a Disney movie. That one's pretty sad.

SPEAKER_02 30:10

What is with Disney having all these single parents and like dead other parents?

SPEAKER_03 30:16

Yeah, they usually target the parents and cut that relationship straight off where they're really close and they've got to learn how to survive without parental guidance of the ones that they really like.

SPEAKER_02 30:27

I think it's something to do with um.

SPEAKER_03 30:31

Who died in Prohontas?

SPEAKER_02 30:34

Well, she only had a father, like her mum wasn't there. She didn't die, but she wasn't there. Every Disney movie only has one parent, and I believe that this is a nod to Walt Disney being raised by his mother only. Nice, so um there are some Disney movies where there are two uh parents, like the Incredibles, and like Pixar movies.

SPEAKER_03 31:03

The Pixar movies usually do have co-parenting, like um, oh no, finding Nemo, he loses the mum.

SPEAKER_02 31:12

Yeah, actually, are there any um Disney movies where there's more than one parent?

SPEAKER_03 31:17

Well incredible. They have their whole family and they're a family unit. Um what else would there be?

SPEAKER_02 31:28

There would be The Incredibles Encanto Finding Nemo briefly has two parents, but she dies, that doesn't count. Fuck off, chat GPT. Be smart. Brave. Brave has two parents.

SPEAKER_03 31:48

Yes, actually, yes. And the father and the mother end up like getting closer because of the rebellious daughter. Brave is actually a really good movie.

SPEAKER_02 31:58

I like Brave. My kids don't like Brave, and it's like such a good movie. And the the desserts that they eat, the pies that they eat that turn them into a bear, they look delicious.

SPEAKER_03 32:07

And the brothers, the brothers are hilarious, hilarious, adorable.

SPEAKER_01 32:11

I love that movie. Love it.

SPEAKER_03 32:13

Like we were going to do Big Daddy in the last podcast, but we should really do bear. Wait, wait, which one are we doing again? Why are we gonna do Big Daddy?

SPEAKER_02 32:20

It doesn't even have a villain. Why would we do that?

SPEAKER_03 32:23

Yeah, yeah, I know. It was just funny.

SPEAKER_02 32:28

Speaking of um who's the villain, we need to find out like who's a villain. I know I didn't play a moose sound in Two Mooses in a Lie, but that's because we royally fucked it. So no moose sounds. If people are coming to this podcast just for moose sounds, you're shit out of luck. There are no moose sounds today.

SPEAKER_03 32:50

We lost ourselves a subscriber.

SPEAKER_02 32:52

We lost our one subscriber. Um, okay. The moose rises.

SPEAKER_03 32:58

Wait, say that again. I came here for the moose noises. This is on the wheel.

SPEAKER_02 33:04

Okay, who do you think is the villain?

SPEAKER_03 33:08

And I my my thoughts would obviously be Scar would be the villain.

SPEAKER_02 33:16

Right. Well, Scar was overlooked his whole life in favor of his hot brother, passed over for leadership, even though he had some very good leadership ideas, probably, and he was the only one questioning the monarchy. You know, the monarchy is just ruling from birthright. Maybe he wanted to be more democratic about the whole process. Is he actually evil or is he just uh, you know, questioning the man?

SPEAKER_03 33:39

No, he's evil because if he wasn't, if he was actually doing it for the right reasons, he literally had a go at, you know, running the place and it didn't take long for the hyenas to take over the food, the lions had to go like move on to different places. He ruined everything. So, you know, he had his um cake and ate it too.

SPEAKER_02 33:58

Yeah, but he was so so he was to me, that's the kind of says he was looking after all of the animals, even the hyenas. No, just the pretty animals.

SPEAKER_03 34:08

No, no, just the hyenas. He only cared about the hyenas.

SPEAKER_02 34:12

Um, okay, what was I gonna say? Oh, didn't Mufasa kick out a whole pride of lions, which was Scar's babies and everything, and like Kovu was there and stuff. Didn't Mufasa banish all of them because they wanted to stick with Scar? They must have liked something about him.

SPEAKER_03 34:30

No, because he got killed and he kept his brother around.

SPEAKER_02 34:35

Alright, alternative view. Simba runs away and abandons all of his responsibilities, doesn't take ownership for the fact that he's killed his dad, if because that's what he thinks, leaves everyone in the kingdom to suffer, and chooses bugs. He chooses to eat bugs, and he has he chooses vibes over saving his family, over seeing his mother again, he chooses bugs and chill vibes.

SPEAKER_03 34:59

Yeah, I I do agree with that. Regardless of being a child, he's a lion, he should know better, and at the end of the day, like he just became king earlier, so he should just, you know, like have sex with his own mother, exactly. That's exactly what I was thinking.

SPEAKER_02 35:15

Not when you say it like that. What about uh the the monarchy, the system? One family controls everything, no democracy, no checks and balances. The king dies, it's absolute chaos. Yeah, maybe that's the villain.

SPEAKER_03 35:35

No, the no, because you've got to do that. It's like tribes and everything like that. You've got to keep it in in the line world, in the family, you've got to keep it, and you know, they get rid of it's a harsh world out there, but for to keep it all running, if they start mixing it in with other people, you know, someone's gonna dispute something, can be like, you know, we should have the rock gathering over there. Why do we do it here? And then he'd have to, you know, whereas he is the king.

SPEAKER_01 36:03

Ha!

SPEAKER_03 36:04

You're like, I hate democracy, I hate it.

SPEAKER_02 36:07

Well in the line. He's uh um kind of an unhinged one. Rafiki tracks Simba down, hits him on the head, and just says cryptic shit instead of just explaining it to him, like everything is on the line, and he's like, Who are you? Look at the sky, let's just give you breadcrumbs. It every every second you delay going back there, another lion dies. But I'm just gonna let you figure this out. Eh?

SPEAKER_03 36:36

No, I just feel like he's like the one that you know takes the shrooms, the one that's just really high on life, and if he could explain it the way that he could, he would. But the only way, because he's so you know, stoned, he's like the stoner of the world. Um, he explains it in the way that makes sense in his brain, and that's what's happening in his brain is crazy shit that doesn't make sense.

SPEAKER_02 37:00

So he's not a villain, he's just crazy. Well, Chat GPT says trauma itself is the villain. Simba's behavior is driven by grief, guilt, and fear. So the real villain is unprocessed trauma and avoidance.

SPEAKER_03 37:14

Because he comes back and he takes his rightful place. So everyone goes through trauma. More of a do you continue to run from it or do you face it as the one he says, do you learn from it and tries to hit him again? Yeah, yeah, exactly. So it's all about a lesson, and so I would disagree with that one. I'm sticking with a scar.

SPEAKER_02 37:34

I just found a funny new game because um it just occurred to me that I know this movie inside out. Give me any scene, I'll tell you the words that they say and exactly what the characters do on the screen.

SPEAKER_03 37:44

Wait, wait, wait, what do I have to do?

SPEAKER_02 37:46

Well, just tell me any scene from this movie, and I'll tell you exactly what's said and what the characters are all doing.

SPEAKER_03 37:52

Oh, okay, a scene, a scene, okay. Um I can't remember. You can't think of anything in the whole movie. Like the me cat's like, Pumbo, why are you and he's like, it's chasing me.

SPEAKER_02 38:13

She's trying to eat me. And then he tries to push him through the log because his ass is stuck. Yeah. And then Simba saves them.

SPEAKER_03 38:25

Well when they're staring up the three of them are staring up the stars.

SPEAKER_02 38:29

Okay, so he says, uh, hey, Timon, you ever wonder what those big bright balls are? Actually, I can't remember the exact words, up there in the sky. And he's like, Pumba. I don't wonder. I know. They're uh they're there are fireflies. They're fireflies that got stuck up there in that big uh bluish-black thing. And Puma goes, Oh, I always thought they were big balls of gas burning billions of miles away. And he's like, Pumba, with you, everything's gas. They love art jokes for that. Yeah, yeah, they love fire jokes. Do you know? I actually got, I still have this. I feel like if I say this on the podcast, someone's gonna break into my house and rob me. But I went to the movies to see this movie in barrel, and from the counter, and it must have cost a fucking fortune, we bought a pumba that you you push its tail and it farts. And it comes with these bugs that you shove in its mouth and it acts like it's chewing, it goes nom. And the fucking bugs had been pushed way down deep inside his mouth, so I never lost them. So I still got this fucking pig with the fucking bugs that came with it from the movies when it was originally released.

SPEAKER_03 39:43

Yeah, okay. Well, you just have to wait for your kids to get to the age of when they have kids for them to be like, you know, I remember this time that you used to tell me about this movie about lions that used to have sex with their moms.

SPEAKER_02 39:54

I just think I might be rich. I think I might have some sort of family heirloom here. And the the batteries, I swear to God, just ran out last year. I don't think I don't think mum ever replaced them. I swear to god, they're like 20-year batteries. Longer. I'm fucking nearly 40. Oh my god, those batteries would be 35 years old. They're probably corroded to the shit house. No, they weren't. That's the thing. Why didn't they get corroded, Tara? Why? That's the question we're trying to answer with this podcast, isn't it? I'm gonna go that it's haunted. Haunted Pumba battery. Toy. Probably right.

SPEAKER_03 40:37

Like 40 years old. It's got like it's seen some shit, that toy.

SPEAKER_02 40:40

Yeah, well, I don't know. I don't know how I've managed to get that through everything. I can't usually have nice things. Oh, I wonder what's it?

SPEAKER_03 40:48

Oh, I should ask because um the Lion King, I do believe, has one of the best music tracks on it. If you had to pick one of your favorite songs from that movie, which one would it be?

SPEAKER_02 41:02

Hang on, I'm gonna Google a list. Give me all the Lion King movie tracks. Okay. I'm gonna be fighting.

SPEAKER_03 41:16

Oh, the start song, actually, which is just amazing. And they rewrote the like the start of that movie because of Elton John's song.

SPEAKER_02 41:25

That's a beautiful song. Um, there's there's also the film scores, which are all really beautiful, but let's just say it's out of the ones with words. So that's Circle of Life, which is beautiful. I just can't wait to be king, which is very fun, but I'm sick of hearing it. My kids play it a lot. Uh Be Prepared, which is I do like that song. I like it as well. It's also kind of fun and catchy, but it's not a big one.

SPEAKER_03 41:46

You know, apparently them marching is like taken from like a Nazi marching, like because they march in some sort of circle, and so the hyenas are actually uh like from they got that idea from a Nazi video they watched.

SPEAKER_02 42:02

Um I'm looking this up. Oh, I wrote nice. Let's see if we can get it. Oh, he says, I think you mean Nazis. They're not in they're not literally Nazis, but they're intentionally coded to resemble fascist groups. Wasn't Walt Disney uh, you know, you know, a bit of a fascist himself? Was he not?

SPEAKER_03 42:25

I'm pretty sure he was a Nazi.

SPEAKER_02 42:27

Was he? Uh yeah, like but he and this seems to be displaying them as no good thing. So that kind of the story doesn't add up. I'm gonna deep dive into that later. Uh okay, so which is my favorite squad? Okay, so it's a fun song, it's it's a very good song. It's not beautiful though. I probably leaned more more towards a beautiful one. Hakuna Matada, fun. I love the message. I'm totally into that. And then Can You Feel the Love Tonight? Beautiful song. Um, I don't know, like they're too good.

SPEAKER_03 43:02

Like the circle, just you know, like you've seen like the videos where like they sing them on the bus, and like the way that they'll sing, it just sounds so amazing.

SPEAKER_02 43:15

I I just think circle of life is so majestic, and it just makes you feel like, oh my god, I'm an African lady now. I'm an African lady and I'm powerful.

SPEAKER_03 43:26

It is quite empowering. I don't feel like an African lady in it.

SPEAKER_01 43:30

But um aren't you singing this song? Ah, tenya we like, aren't you singing it?

SPEAKER_03 43:36

Oh, yeah, no. I turned to an Indian. Oh, I don't know if I can have that in the podcast. That seems like it's going over some racist line, but I'm not sure why, but I'm that because I can do an Indian accent so good. No, no, no, you cannot.

SPEAKER_02 43:57

And in fact, I know a lady who Says, I speak all the Asian languages and proceeds to just, you know, do that sort of and I'm like, no.

SPEAKER_03 44:11

Stop it. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 44:14

It's the fucking worst thing I've ever said.

SPEAKER_03 44:16

Well, do you remember in high school when you'd get your eyes and you'd be like, no, I never did that. I'm from Japanese. Look what my parents did to me.

SPEAKER_02 44:24

Yeah, one of age.

SPEAKER_03 44:25

That's horrible. What's wrong with being racist? So racist.

SPEAKER_02 44:29

Well, now you have to tell somebody something funny. I can't end the podcast on that. That's terrible.

SPEAKER_03 44:34

Well, uh children, whatever you do, don't be racist because it's not cool anymore.

SPEAKER_02 44:39

It's not funny, that's just a good message. All right, whatever you do, children, don't be racist. Yeah.

unknown 44:50

Broadway's calling, and he's raising the bar.