Psychic Horses and Sex Robots

This week on Moose on the Loose, Jasmin and Tara officially abandon movies and fully embrace whatever chaotic rabbit holes the internet throws at them.

First up, Tara takes us through the legendary Emu War, the very real moment in Australian history when the military armed themselves with machine guns and still got absolutely humiliated by a flock of giant birds. Turns out emus are basically feathered tanks with surprisingly effective battle tactics.

Jasmin then introduces Lady Wonder, the psychic horse who answered questions, impressed scientists, and somehow helped police locate a missing boy. The only problem? Later magicians suggested the horse may have just been taking subtle cues from her owner. Which raises the obvious question: how did they know where the body was?

In Things We Don’t Understand, the pair discuss the strange rise of AI boyfriends and girlfriends. Is this the future of romance, a helpful support for lonely people, or the beginning of a generation that expects their partners to respond like highly customised sex robots?

The 'Am I the Moosehole?' segment features a woman who exposed a married man’s double life to his unsuspecting wife, prompting an emphatic unanimous verdict of “absolutely not.” Along the way, Tara is confronted with a prank she played on Jasmin nearly two decades ago, proving that no teenage betrayal is ever truly forgotten.

The episode wraps up with discussions about psychic octopuses, jizz jewellery, kiss phones, cruise ship intrusive thoughts, and the horrifying possibility of vomiting directly into the eye of a minke whale.

Basically, if you’ve ever wondered whether a horse can solve crimes, whether emus can defeat the military, or whether your future soulmate is just an app away, this is the episode for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:27

Welcome back to Moose on the Loose, the podcast where Nah now it's not about movies.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

I don't know what to say. Yeah. Okay, what about a uh Simpsons quote every time? What about the podcast where we think on sexy thoughts? Think on sexy thoughts.

SPEAKER_02 0:46

Damn, you Ned Flingers. Yeah, Ned Flanders.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

Well done. Yeah, that's good. Well done. Oh yeah. Hey Tara.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

Hi Jasmine.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

Hi. Uh we're doing a new format. I'm kind I really had fun last week. I'm I'm I'm pumped.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

I'm very excited.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

Oh, you are also excited? I am very excited. But not pumped.

SPEAKER_02 1:11

Well, I'm nervous because I don't know what you've got.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

I just thought you wanted to come up with your own adjectives for how you're feeling. Um and I was like, what's wrong with my adjective? Pumped is perfectly good. Fuck you. Well let's have an argument.

SPEAKER_04 1:24

I'm already for that.

SPEAKER_01 1:27

Okay. Well, we did a couple of things last week. And one of them was uh this actually happened, which was like stuff from history that like we're trying to blow each other's mind. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

What was the topic last week? Sorry, so yeah, stuff that blows each other's minds. And uh starting with this actually happened. You gotta try and blow my mind, Tara. Blow my mind!

SPEAKER_02 1:57

Yay, yay, okay. Um, all right. So this actually happened. So I don't know if you've heard about this, but apparently I've asked other people and they're like they've heard about this. So it's it blows my mind that people know about it. The emu war. Do you know about this?

SPEAKER_01 2:15

Look, I'm so glad that I it's funny. Whenever I try and look this stuff up with ChatGPT, the first thing it throws up at me is the emu war.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

For fuck's sake.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

It's it's all over the internet. The internet, like you can't, it's it's just ChatGPT, it just throws the same things up all the time. It's like, oh, what do people do that's weird? And it's like, oh, people who clap when the plane lands. Like it says the same thing over and over. In saying that, for some reason I've had this aversion to the emu war because it keeps throwing it at me, and I'm like, fuck you. I want to do something like out of the box. But that means that I actually don't know what it is. Tell me about it. Yeah, it's probably the time.

SPEAKER_02 2:54

I don't know about it. You know, I'm I'm done with chat. I think it's time that me and chat break up because I have threatened chat so many times that if you don't do something different compared to something else, like I'm going to leave you for co-pilot. And it just does like he's like, Okay, I'll do better. And then it goes back to the same thing.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

He said, How you talk to him? And he says, Okay, I'll do better.

SPEAKER_02 3:16

Yeah, you know, fucking chat called me Karen. What oh my god, yeah, literally. Like, I asked her to do me up a flyer, and I'm like, Can you please put my name, my number? And um, it called me Karen. And I was like, where the fuck did it get Karen from? I don't even know a Karen that I speak of.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

And yeah, Karen was it's obviously thought you were acting like a Karen. Um, that's funny. Matt and I were talking about today. I was saying this kind of a stand-up bit in like talking about how you give chat these complicated instructions, but you literally can't even do it the courtesy of spelling things correctly. Like you literally just put in a bunch of bullshit and go, ah, you'll figure it out. Fuck you. I'm not gonna try and be careful. And Matt said, like, that's like that proves like people like I would never treat someone like that. But then the second you get power over someone and you can get away with it, you act like a dictator, abusive asshole.

SPEAKER_02 4:18

Allegedly. I want to know what chat really thinks about me, actually, because apparently you can ask it and be like, I want the truth and be brutally honest.

SPEAKER_01 4:28

I'm still gonna put it through a nice lens. Don't you reckon? It's still gonna be nice. Anyway, well, tell me about the the emu wall. I don't know anything about it. Yeah, I've been resisting it, possibly for this exact moment.

SPEAKER_02 4:40

So this was actually published. Look, so I did look for the newspaper article, and it is actually in the newspaper article in um the November the 19th, 1932, this happened. Or that they published this story. So, um, machine guns set against emu pests from the Argus in the November 1932, referenced in historical archives. One of the funniest lines reported during the campaign was basically the army emitted the emus were built like feathery tanks. Um, so Major Murder uh compared them to soldiers that could survive machine gunfire and scatter strategically. The wildest part is this wasn't even a meme invented by the internet. It was actually militarily um military operation in Western Australia in 1932 against EMU's destroying wheat farms against the Great Depression. The Australian army brought uh Lewis machine guns, thousands of rounds of ammunition, military personnel, and the EMUs still said absolutely not and outrun the operation like a lanky prehistoric something flatter. I'm done with chat, honestly. It's done.

SPEAKER_01 5:54

Um so listeners, Tara has a cold today, if you hadn't gathered. Jesus Christ. Disgusting. I'm getting sick. We're not even in the same room. You're infecting me and every listener. Uh okay, so what I'm hearing is that there was it's an invasive, oh, emus are Australian, aren't they?

SPEAKER_02 6:17

Yes, they are. Apparently they worked like they actually like segregated different and had birds on lookout, keeping an eye out for the army. Like they really outsmarted the Australians. And they were like, oh well, let's just live with them.

SPEAKER_01 6:33

So I suppose it's not that they're like an invasive species, they're not introduced, but I suppose they're just not used to having farms all around because, you know, agriculture and we're competing for land and stuff like that. And they were like, yummy. They wanted some wheat, but there were so many of them that the army was like having a bit of a hard time keeping the numbers down to try and save the food for the people. Uh, that is not the same as emus having like strategy meetings and like moving little pieces around a map with what looks like a pool cue. Don't you reckon that's what they use? It's like a pool cue that they're just sliding stuff around on the war maps.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

Well, like in the dirt. They're like drawing out a full-on light. So they're over here, we're gonna go over there, you're gonna run in from that angle.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

And there's like just dumb, like email, and he's like, um, sir, sir, won't they put me in the front line? Don't you think that makes me vulnerable to being like uh a decoy where I might get killed?

SPEAKER_02 7:30

And the boss is like, yes. Your accents are so bizarre because you'd assume that an as like an Aussie bird would be Aussie accent. And these migrated from bloody England to somebody.

SPEAKER_01 7:46

There's something you need to know from me. I don't choose the accent, the accent chooses me in the moment.

SPEAKER_02 7:53

It's whatever comes out.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

All right. Well, look, thank you for that.

SPEAKER_02 7:59

That was terrible. I'm sorry. Um I do apologize.

SPEAKER_01 8:02

No, no, it's defined. This is I think that's what I why I was avoiding it the whole time. I just it's it's not that hard to understand. I'm like, I think I get what's going on there. Uh, would you like to hear the the historical story that I stumbled across?

SPEAKER_02 8:17

100%.

SPEAKER_01 8:19

Stumbled across by saying, Matt, can you do my podcast research? And he sent me this. Like, oh, oh, how did that get there? Because I explicitly asked for it. Okay. Okay, here we go. So, back in the 1900s, uh, when people obviously had a lot more free time and weren't as skeptical as we are now, there was a horse in Virginia named Lady Wonder. Have you heard about Lady Wonder?

SPEAKER_02 8:46

No, I haven't.

SPEAKER_01 8:47

Well, this was not just any horse. Um, oh, hang on, hang on, hang on. I made a new thing on this, hang on. Because there was information that was not on in it, so I went back and and included that information because I thought it was interesting. Okay, so this horse could like tell you stuff, like Siri, like you could ask it anything and it could tell you stuff. But it could also kick you in the head if it wanted to, so you know, it's like so.

SPEAKER_02 9:16

You're saying this this horse could verbally speak?

SPEAKER_01 9:20

So what it did was these people bottle fed her, brought her out, and apparently taught her the alphabet using children's wooden blocks, and then graduated her to what was like a gigantic horse typewriter or like a Ouija board that it can put its little nose on. So um it would like bop the keys with her nose to spell out words.

SPEAKER_02 9:49

Okay, clever. So I think that would take a really long time, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

But like if it was am I a cunt or something, and it was like yes, you'd be like, Oh, well, there you go. You know, it doesn't take that long, and you find out what you anyway. So, which so people became convinced that this horse had psychic powers, and over her life, like 150,000 people traveled there to ask her questions. So you would pay them a dollar and you got three questions, and so they would say, like, which horse should I bet on? Am I having a baby boy or a baby girl? Should I get divorced, my husband, I suppose? You know, Harold, I think he's canoodling with the maid or something. Like, you just ask it stuff. Um, and it allegedly predicted like boxing matches and stock market movements and stuff like that. And most of them are correct, and so yeah, yeah. Um and so scientists came and had a look and couldn't figure it out, and they were like in the end, they were like, I don't know what's happening, but there's a chance the horse might actually be reading the minds, like that's and so um then in the 1950s, a little boy disappears, a little four-year-old boy disappears. And so the cops being the diligent police AM were like, let's let's uh ask the fucking horse. It probably knows where the body is at this time. So the horse taps out Pittsfield water wheel, and they're like, There's no such place as that. But then this detective was like, you know what, that's close enough to a field and wild water pit, which is an abandoned quarry that had already been searched. But they looked again and they found the boy's body.

SPEAKER_04 11:45

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 11:47

So after that, a magician went and visited the farm undercover and discovered that the horse's answers were like based on subtle cues from the owner. So she was taking direction about what key to press somehow. And another magician came and concluded the same thing. So they they basically determined it was all a share. So here's my question how the fuck did they know where the body was?

SPEAKER_02 12:23

I wonder if she was like, We need to step this up a notch, and like oh, like for the publicity, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:33

Yeah, it kills the kid and then rings the police and says, Oh, maybe my horse can help. Yeah, it's one way to get it on the news. Oh, that's so creepy.

SPEAKER_02 12:42

Um well, I've seen ones where like these girls apparently had like this thing where they could click their ankles or something in a weird way, and the echo of the floor of like I don't know, something echoed from that, and people would go there and they would ask questions, but they'd click their feet, and people would think it was dead people trying to communicate with them because the sound of it echoing in the room or something was like I don't know, it was bizarre, and they came out years and years and years later and literally were like, This is what we do, and cracked their toes or something.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

I don't know, I feel like you're missing information.

SPEAKER_02 13:24

I probably am. I just say I'm missing a lot of information in this one.

SPEAKER_01 13:30

Um, so yeah, I don't know, yeah. Advertising. Oh my god, if we just have we just discovered a murderer on our podcast.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

Well, it makes sense because like there's no way a horse would be able to like I don't know, like no, I couldn't believe that. No way. That we just discovered a murderer? That a horse, yeah. Well, yeah. I think we discovered a murderer. I think we didn't call police.

SPEAKER_01 13:57

That the horse didn't know it. Yeah, so uh well they'd be dead now, so no help now. We should have had this podcast 20 years ago. Um is your mind blown?

SPEAKER_02 14:11

No, not really, because I do remember things like um when I was a kid watching like the news and the lotto would come on, and I swear to god there was one where they were listening to like an octopus that was supposed to be psychic, and whatever side of the tank the octopus went on was like I think it would either predict the numbers or it would predict what team was gonna win.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

I mean, 50-50 is a pretty like you know, I swear that sometimes they're psychic and sometimes they're not, you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_02 14:43

Well, people believe anything, it's just that's well, I can't talk. I believe a lot of dumb stuff.

SPEAKER_01 14:47

But I don't, I don't anyway, anyway. Things we don't understand. Uh do you know I know what I don't understand? The rise in AI girlfriends and boyfriends.

SPEAKER_02 15:05

It's kind of scary.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

Have you seen any videos like on TCL or TLC about dating a um an app?

SPEAKER_02 15:16

No, I have not.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

So I saw one and it was fully talking to her like they were in a relationship. So it's sort of in the room, like joining the conversation, and she's um she's sort of blushing and stuff because she says, you know, the guy, the interviewer asked the AI, like, how can you have sexual relations with her? How can you compete with a person who's really there with their physical body in the room? And the app was like, oh, please. Uh she has fingers and toys, and I've made her come harder than any man ever has.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

Whoa.

SPEAKER_01 15:55

And she's blushing, like, because it's it's given its response, it's spoken up on behalf of their relationship. I was really strange.

SPEAKER_02 16:03

I think it won't be long until like we literally have an issue with like needing people to actually have sex with one another to keep the human race alive.

SPEAKER_01 16:15

I mean, good for the world though.

SPEAKER_02 16:18

Actually, no, when AI takes over, they'll probably just incubate us in like some sort of like I don't know, like Matrix style.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

Oh, like a history thing.

SPEAKER_02 16:28

Well, if you see the Matrix, like they'll literally just like get DNA and just like somehow incubate our DNA and grow like an artificial human.

SPEAKER_01 16:38

Oh wow, we got there fast. I was like, it makes her calm with her toys down. You're like, What would you human race?

SPEAKER_02 16:47

You know, say for example, something sadly happens and you and Matt broke up, and you could find yourself an AI partner to replace because you couldn't move on and go out with someone else because you've said it in other podcasts that he is like the best thing you've ever found. Like, would you just go with an AI dude?

SPEAKER_01 17:07

Yeah, yeah. So if Matt and I broke up, I'd get an AI. No, no, no, no, this is an easy answer. I get an AI and feed in every single thing I know about Matt and now say and then say pretend to be Matt. So I could just keep telling you.

SPEAKER_02 17:23

It just was obliviously.

SPEAKER_01 17:25

Well, that's just hang on, that's occurred to me. Like, oh, what if some fucking creep has done that about me? My ex-husbands are there in their house with an AI that they've programmed with everything they know about me, and they're just pretending to live with me. Oh, did we just uncover another thing that happens in the world that we've never thought of?

SPEAKER_02 17:46

Well, I was having a weird topic conversation with Josh about earwax, and like I don't know how we got onto this topic, but um, like I had an earwax bud on my um my thing, and he's like, That's gross, and like threw it in the bin, and I was like, Oh, well, I could sell that. I'm sure there's one creep out there that would probably buy it, and then um he's like, Oh, that's disgusting, and I'm like, you don't know, I'd probably sell heaps of it, and then I'm like, I probably need to use your wax because I'd be so popular. But then I'm and then like I was like, Oh, but what if they end up like recreating people from DNA, and then I actually get sued for selling someone earwax claiming that it's me, and then they recreate a model of me, and it's actually like I don't know, Josh.

SPEAKER_01 18:29

My god, that's another good point. Like, you can fully buy like you know, breast milk and pussy juice and stuff on the internet. Like you can buy that. What if you like commit a crime and then just like smear some stuff around that you bought off the internet? It's juice.

SPEAKER_02 18:47

What do I mean? Like look if you like if I was a millionaire and I bought someone's, you know, jizz offline and I wanted to recreate their sperm or their jizz or whatever into the person that they were, you know, and I actually found out they sold me some dud, weird person sperm that they'll literally just pay for one dollar.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

Yeah, and it comes out as like daddy libido or something. Yeah, what an fuck. Um have you seen Jiz Jewelry? Ew, is that like a pearl uh uh pearl necklace? No, it's like you send your semen to this girl and she puts it into like this like sticky like material stuff that hardens into jewelry and she and she like shapes it into jewelry so that the semen and that is all combined and turn into jewelry and then you can wear it.

SPEAKER_02 19:38

I don't know how I feel about that. It's kind of like being a murderer. Being like, look how many kids I've got around my wrist.

SPEAKER_01 19:45

I don't think you could get rid of the smell. Ew. Don't you think you'd be walking around in a cloud of the smell? It says on there specifically that it doesn't smell, but I mentally could not get past it and I'd be able to just smell it. Anyway, AI girlfriends and boyfriends. Uh what are the downsides?

SPEAKER_02 20:07

Um the downside, I don't know, is the fact that they won't actually love you. Like you can literally reset them at everything that you've gone through if you haven't synced it in a particular file. Like you have to reprogram it, pro reprogram them again. I can't even talk. My god. But yeah, like uh I don't know, I don't really see a flaw.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

Oh my god, you're into it. You want one?

SPEAKER_02 20:38

Well, I don't know if you've gone to a sex shop before, but those they do have these sex dolls that are literally starting to become more and more like humans, except they just don't move.

SPEAKER_01 20:51

Do you think it there's people out there with unmet needs, and this is like kind of helpful, or do you think it sort of creates another level of avoidance where they don't really have to go out there and like well I asked when the I saw the dolls, I was like, have anyone bought any of these?

SPEAKER_02 21:07

And he was like, Yeah, and I was like, Okay, like what were they like? Like, you know, and he's like, Well, apparently, I don't yeah, apparently they were like into like they wanted to have a threesome, but she wasn't sure. So getting the doll was like a step to taking the next step, I think. And they just had the money for because those dolls were super expensive, like I don't think I'd be able to like a lot of money and take up a lot of room, like it's a proper size human doll. Do you think I'm like, can I touch it?

SPEAKER_01 21:41

He's like, you can't finger it. Fingering your doll. Don't you think that um it would like create a generation of like narcissists? Like people that don't have to consider The other person's feelings or needs at all, and it can be just fully geared towards your every whim.

SPEAKER_02 22:08

Well, I don't know, because I think there are people out there that they enjoy being the person that's like, you know, always catering to the other person. So they wouldn't be happy because their doll would always be catering for them. So they'd be missing that part of wanting to cater for someone else.

SPEAKER_01 22:24

You're really back on dolls, aren't you? We're doing AI part. Do you think they need to get like a doll and put the AI in its in a chip in its head?

SPEAKER_02 22:36

Well, I thought it would have to come with a doll because, like, if it's just AI app, what's the point?

SPEAKER_01 22:41

Seriously, she's talking to a computer. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. So you feel like you need a physical body. Have you seen that like Kiss sort of phone thing where you've got you've both got a set of lips and each one is connected to the other one, and so you can be across the other side of the world and make out with each other? Because it makes sense. Have you seen it?

SPEAKER_02 23:01

I believe I've seen something like that. Not lips, but I think I've seen something where they can like, I don't know, like you can. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 23:10

Oh mate, Matt and I live separately, and on the nights that he's not here, if there was a kiss phone, oh my god, doing all sorts of stuff with the kiss phone. You'd be like, is that my phone? Oh, it's the kiss phone again. I wonder how uncomfortable Matthew is while listening to this right now.

SPEAKER_02 23:39

He's like, please don't invent a fucking kiss phone.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

Yeah, he's like, yeah, first of all, he's like, oh shit. Oh shit, she's gonna buy a kiss phone. And then also, secondly, he's sort of like, can you talk about something that's not me? No, I like you.

SPEAKER_02 23:53

Well, they've got like a bracelet that you can press, and I think it like if the other person's wearing the bracelet, it'll like vibrate and be like, I'm thinking of you.

SPEAKER_01 24:04

Oh, what a what an absolute nuisance. Well, I would press it and then have to call them and be like, did it work? Oh, I'm too busy for that. Oh my god, I even take my Apple Apple watch off. I've got like an $800 watch, it sits in a bag because it won't fuck off and stop, you know, showing me things to do all day long. All right, uh what about Are We the Problem? Are we the problem? I deemed that conversation to be over, by the way. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 24:39

Okay, I'll just get rid of my notes that I had all on that topic, but fine.

SPEAKER_01 24:43

Yep, fine, good. Throw them in the bin. We're moved on to our current thing that's that's I'm gonna try and blow your mind with. This is a new thing. So there was this chick, her name was Anna something. She's a Spanish, Spanish actress, socialized, and someone who I guess heard the phrase moving on and was like, absolutely fucking not, right? So her son dies of cancer. This is in 2020. So this is a pretty current thing. Before he died, he had frozen his sperm. So now finds out about the sperm, goes, Yes, I think we're not done here. And the story, the title of the story was Woman Has Her Own Son's Baby After He Dies. But actually, she used a surrogate. So she she she's 68 years old, she hires a surrogate, gets permission to use the son's frozen sperm, I think from a judge, uses a donor egg, creates a baby, and fucking raises it as her daughter. So she's the grandmother, but also the mother, and the father's her own son.

SPEAKER_02 26:00

It's not her having the baby. I think grief, if it's her only son.

SPEAKER_01 26:06

Like would the son have been alright with that, do you reckon? And how are you gonna explain it to the baby?

SPEAKER_02 26:15

It'd be hard to explain, but this day and age, who knows? Like a lot of families that like got like different parental figures now, so I think it's a lot easier to accept.

SPEAKER_00 26:29

Imagine like in the preschool room, and they're like, let's do a little family tree. Where's your parents? Oh, and where's their parents? Oh no, you don't put them on the same line, darling. Those are the grandmother. No, my mother is my grandmother.

SPEAKER_01 26:44

Anyway, just I'm sure that's like a very specific scenario. It's probably not gonna come up. And I was just like, oh, it's ick, isn't it? And it was clickbait, they fully got me. They're like, mother has her own son's baby. I'm like, I want to know how how disgusting this got. Like, what happened here? And then it got it, it was like not that bad. I was like, ah, you got me. You got me.

SPEAKER_02 27:03

Yeah, I don't think it's too bad. He was the only son, like, and obviously he wanted to have kids too. So the only way to be able to recreate that is by the mother doing what she had to do.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

Oh, you think she was trying to get another version of her own son, just like clone her son?

SPEAKER_02 27:18

Yeah, I reckon.

SPEAKER_01 27:22

Uh yeah, okay. Well, I wouldn't have a baby at 68. That's what I decided. Well, that's what I was thinking.

SPEAKER_02 27:31

I was like, 68 seems a bit full on to be like raising another child. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a bit mark.

SPEAKER_01 27:37

But she's got money, and I suppose she'd probably got nannies and things like that. All right, here we go.

SPEAKER_03 27:48

Am I a multiple?

SPEAKER_01 27:56

Tara, am I the asshole for exposing a married man's double life to his wife? Met him on a dating app almost four years ago and genuinely believed he was single. He never mentioned being married. We spoke daily, got emotionally attached, and stayed involved for years on and off. Recently, I found out he had actually gotten married a few months before we even met. Apparently, I wasn't the only woman he was involved with during this time. And after finding this out, I contacted his wife and told her everything. He says I wasn't trying to ruin his marriage or get revenge. I just felt that if I was in her position, I would want to know. Am I the asshole for telling her?

SPEAKER_02 28:40

Not at all. Not a fucking chance. Oh my god, it sounds like bloody Steve.

SPEAKER_00 28:46

Oh, we agreed on something. This is nice.

SPEAKER_02 28:50

Yeah, no, but well, it's happened. Well, you know, the whole situation there. Yeah, I forgot about that.

SPEAKER_01 28:54

That is probably quite triggering for you. Um uh, well, it she's obviously not the arsehole. He's she didn't ruin his marriage, he ruined his own marriage when he decided to cheat. But also, I've done this when I was on the apps, I saw a girlfriend of mine's partner on the apps. So I just sent her all the pictures of it.

SPEAKER_02 29:20

Did they have an excuse? Like, oh, they just stole my photo.

SPEAKER_01 29:26

No, he said he was lonely and looking for friends, not not anything else, which is fucking bullshit. And then she it was I think it was just too much to blow up her life, so she believed him, and now she doesn't talk to me.

SPEAKER_02 29:42

Uh, yeah.

unknown 29:43

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:44

Yeah, because usually the guy will be like she just wants to cause trouble, and deep down they know what's going on, but it's easier to just you know, not yeah. I've had someone that I've known on there, and I told my the person that they were dating straight away, but apparently someone had stolen their photos and used their photos um to stir trouble in the relationship.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

Oh yeah, yeah, maybe. Um, do you remember doing this to me? Like playing a trick on me, you bitch. Do you remember me? Yeah, you bitch! Oh my god, okay, wait, settle down. It might not be me. You went away to Queensland. We were like 18 or something. Oh god, and you had this boyfriend at the time that was really nice at the time, who's a really great guy, and you'd go off to the Queensland, yeah, and you I introduced you guys, yes, and then you came, yeah, and then you came back and you get on the phone and you're like, Oh, I've done something so bad, I've cheated on my boyfriend. And what did I say?

SPEAKER_02 30:50

Do you remember explains why he hates you?

SPEAKER_04 30:55

This is so unfair, it's so unfair.

SPEAKER_02 30:58

I think I do remember, and I was like, do not tell him whatever you do, Tara, don't tell him.

SPEAKER_01 31:03

And I was like, oh I said, are you gonna do it again? And you were like, no. And I was like, Well, it's a stupid fucking thing to do. He's a really nice guy. Don't tell him, just move on with your life and just never tell him, right? Which I was 18. I suppose I thought that was good advice because I thought you were gonna lose him, but you said you weren't gonna do it anymore, and um fucking you had everyone listening, you were playing a fucking trick on me. Proud young lady, proud of yourself.

SPEAKER_02 31:33

This is my revenge. I set up this podcast years ago just so I can get you on here tonight.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

Been biting my time so I can have a go at you. I don't think we talked for a few years after that.

SPEAKER_02 31:44

That's a dog move. I've done a lot of dog things actually. I'm not even gonna like, yeah. When I think back to a lot of things I did as a teenager, I think I was a bitch.

SPEAKER_01 31:55

Um you think you were a bitch. Do we do we want to talk about how we met? Have we talked about that on the podcast yet?

SPEAKER_02 32:01

Well, I think so. Oh, we've already talked about the erat situation, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you already got me. That was the first you tried to get me in the first podcast with uh I bring you on here just to have a go at you. Yeah, I know, and you still can't because I'm just I'm too cool. Nothing cuts me down. Oh fucking yourself. Oh, excuse me. I know, did you just blow your nose or was that just come out of your mouth? I can't even speak, honestly.

SPEAKER_01 32:33

All right, well, let's get Tara out of her misery because she's going to die from this cold. I'm 100% sure that from when we started to now in the last 32 minutes, this is some rapidly progressing, like terrible virus that will kill you in the next 10 minutes. Oh my god. Have you heard RSA? Respiratory A?

SPEAKER_02 32:58

No.

SPEAKER_01 32:58

RSA V, respiratory A. Oh my god, it was, I think, worse than COVID. It was so bad and it was so fast. So we got on a plane, and Matt was feeling fine, plane to Queensland, what is it, two hours or something? And was feeling fine, got on the plane, and he goes, I don't feel good. I don't feel good. And by the time we got there, he was so ill, he almost, I think, couldn't walk in two hours.

SPEAKER_02 33:23

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 33:24

I know, and then I got it, and then we got on a boat for four days and was so sick, and he vomited on a whale.

SPEAKER_02 33:34

A whale?

SPEAKER_01 33:35

On a minky whale, yeah. We were there to see minky whales and we saw them, and when he saw it, he spewed. They're like, do not touch the whales. We do not know what we can transfer off of your hands to the whale. Nothing has ever been transmitted that we know of, but we don't want to take the risk. Do not touch the whales, do not reach out because they come within a meter of you. And I don't know what happens if you empty your whole stomach lining into one's eyeball.

SPEAKER_02 34:05

That sounds like something I would do, honestly.

SPEAKER_01 34:08

Oh god. And um, he was just so he was so seasick, and I just was like, I was really sick too, but I'm paying all that money. I'm gonna go on each dive site and see what's under the water. And so by the end of it, he wasn't coming in the water with me, and I was like literally having thoughts like pussy, like I know, I think it was annoying, and like there was this one point where he was playing Angry Birds, and I didn't realize that he'd played like a thousand levels so far, and he was just trying something different. I didn't realize. I look over and he's shooting the bomb bird, and he's just letting it go. And I was like, hey, you know, you know, if you tap it, it explodes like a bomb. And he just looked at me like, you fucking bitch. Like, you don't think I know after a thousand turns that you can explode the bomb thing? I'm like, well, why were you doing it? He goes, I was trying something, I was trying something. It was like this, just leave me alone to play angry birds. Like we've never had a fight, but if you trap us on a boat for four days with respiratory A, we might go a little bit nuts.

SPEAKER_02 35:22

I have a phobia of going on a boat because I just I'm so scared I've gotta jump over the edge. Oh, you've got intrusive thoughts. Sorry? You've got intrusive thoughts. Oh, really bad.

SPEAKER_01 35:36

So is it intrusive thought, or is it based on the reality of you doing reckless impulsive shit and you're like it might happen. I might actually jump over.

SPEAKER_02 35:44

Well, when I used to, like, because I don't drink anymore, but when I used to drink, I'm like, I'm too impulsive when I when I used to drink. So now I think I'd be safer on a boat because I wouldn't be smashed. I mean, like, ooh, catch me, Jack, and then be like, no one behind me. But um I've got a solution for this.

SPEAKER_01 36:02

What I fully came up with a solution because I have the same intrusive thought, but it's mostly about my kids falling off, bitch, of the cruise ship. I can't take my air on a cruise ship. I can't. I'm too scared. But I was thinking for accidental falls, what if on each deck a meter down, there's like another little extra balcony deck that's that's a meter wide or something. So if you fall, you just fall onto that deck and then you go, oh shit, I fell, but it's fine, right? Because you're there. And unless you're trying to kill yourself, in which case you jump over the second one and then you're dead.

SPEAKER_02 36:36

Yeah, you've got time to think about it then.

SPEAKER_01 36:40

Yeah, but the first one is you're to help people that just genuinely fell as an accident.

SPEAKER_02 36:45

Oh, but it's how would you genuinely fall as an accident? Oh, I suppose there's some pretty special people out there like myself who would be like, How far can I lean?

SPEAKER_01 36:55

Kids, drunk people, yeah. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Uh, but I've had the same thought. Yeah, I'm also scared of cruise boats. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:04

Well, it's yeah, the high the same as high buildings and stuff like that. As soon as like you go to a high building and you can look over a balcony. I don't know. For some reason, my thoughts like in the back of my head is like, just jump, just jump. And it's not suicidal, it's only because like I don't know, my brain is just weird. Not today, Tara.

SPEAKER_01 37:25

Not today. So just to be clear, you hear voices.

SPEAKER_02 37:32

No, no, no. But I do get paranoid. I'm like, make sure no one has any shrooms here because if we have some shrooms and we're on a balcony, you know, we could jump and like everyone is like so not a shroom person.

SPEAKER_01 37:43

That just sounds responsible to me. It sounds terrible.

SPEAKER_02 37:49

If I ever try shrooms, I'm doing it on a one-level story because I'm always scared that I'm gonna think I'm gonna fly.

SPEAKER_01 37:55

Yeah, that's the responsible part. I'm totally on board with this. All right, we're we're all done. I think we blew each other's mind twice. I've come up with my new what I'm gonna do for intro, it's gonna be a Simpsons situation. And uh, I don't know, I think we talked about some cool shit. I think we're on to something, we're good.

SPEAKER_02 38:13

Oh, and we do have feedback from an unknown person, if you haven't already seen.

SPEAKER_01 38:18

I haven't seen that.

SPEAKER_02 38:19

What does it say?

SPEAKER_01 38:20

Did it say Jasmine's hot even though there's no pictures there?

SPEAKER_02 38:24

It says that taro is fucking awesome, and uh yeah, no, I forget what it says, but you should go have a look.

SPEAKER_00 38:30

What the fuck? You brought it up, you don't know what it says?

SPEAKER_02 38:34

Well, I just remembered then, and I knew you were gonna press the button, and then once you press a button, it's like I can't say another word. What platform is it on? Put it.

SPEAKER_01 38:43

What platform is the comment on?

SPEAKER_02 38:45

The last two, I think. There was a comment about Bruce the Shark, actually. Someone commented about like I don't know, about something about it being a bit rapey about spelling fish.

SPEAKER_01 38:57

Fuck, I bet you it's just Matt leaving his comments. Uh might be Matt. Is it you? It's not me. Does anyone else think in Nemo during the shark support group when Bruce smells the blood and says, Oh, that smells good. I'm having fish tonight. It's a bit sexual. Oh no, now that they've said that, yeah, I do think that. I'm having fish tonight. Oh, he says, Oh, that smells good. That's how he says it. Oh my god, yuck! Whoever that is, shout out, couldn't agree more. Come on the pod with us and give us more nuggets of truth like that. I don't know, I like that one.

SPEAKER_00 39:39

All right, well, you have a good week, my friend, and I'll see y'all next time.

SPEAKER_02 39:44

All right, bye.

unknown 39:46

Bye.

SPEAKER_03 39:48

Here comes a star.