Moose On The Loose

The Monkeys Are Running the Town

Moose Enterprises Season 2 Episode 13

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0:00 | 31:14

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This week on Moose on the Loose, we discover that ancient employee loyalty had absolutely no limits.

First, we travel back 4,500 years to the ancient city of Ur, where servants, musicians and guards were buried alongside their dead king so they could keep working for him in the afterlife. Talk about a job that follows you home.

Then we revisit the 2001 classic Shallow Hal and ask the important question: was it a heartfelt lesson about inner beauty, or two hours of fat jokes wearing a motivational speaker costume?

Finally, we meet the rhesus macaque monkeys that have figured out organised crime. These furry little masterminds steal phones, glasses and wallets, then demand food in exchange for returning them.

Plus: animal trivia, Two Mooses and a Lie, and Tara discovers that some animals are far smarter than either of us expected.

It's dead kings, monkey extortion and questionable life choices all the way down.

SPEAKER_00

Welcome back to News on the loose the podcast where Tram Bobeline Tram Bobaline Tram Tram Have I got that right? I can't remember exactly if you I don't remember. You know how he's like, oh no, you don't. And then he wipes out another car thinking that they're heading for the free trampoline from the newspaper.

SPEAKER_01

Oh it's the Simpsons quote. I was thinking of the movie and I was like, I don't remember that being in there.

SPEAKER_00

Trampoppyline. Yeah. That's the free trampoline. Free free trampoline. That's it. Oh, welcome back. We're back. We had a week off, and now we're back. How are you, Tara?

SPEAKER_01

I am awesome after this long weekend.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. How good's a long weekend? But how bad is the going back to work after this?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's a little bit sad.

SPEAKER_00

A little bit sad. Oh my god. I've only got like two hours worth of work tomorrow, and I'm like, oh do you keep asking?

SPEAKER_01

I keep asking people when like what's the retirement age?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I keep trying to come up with schemes to get rich quick so I don't have to work anymore.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, 100%. I'll I'm always entrepreneuring.

SPEAKER_00

They all either involve the lottery or prostitution. There's no in between.

SPEAKER_01

Selling toe feet.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, feet. Feet are get involved. Feet get involved. Yeah, yeah. Well, we've got some fun stuff to talk about today. Uh I don't do you have a preference? Do you want to talk about some crazy shit that happened back in the day? Or do you want to talk about our movie of the week, our inappropriate movie of the week?

SPEAKER_01

The inappropriate movie of the week is my response.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, okay. Um I don't have a sound for this. No, it's sound for the win. Shallow Hal.

SPEAKER_01

Ooh. I was like trying to do a list, like thinking of movies, and I could only come up with two. And when you said Shallow Hal, I was like, how could I not think of that movie? Like you come up, like, yeah, I don't know how I'm not thinking of these movies.

SPEAKER_00

It's incredibly inappropriate, this movie, right? Yeah. Okay. So I'm gonna just give everybody a little summary of what happens in this movie, Shallow Hal. There's this guy named Hal, and he's incredibly shallow, right? So uh he's judging women um, you know, really harshly. Um, and one day he gets stuck in a lift with Tony Robbins, and Tony Robbins hypnotizes him. And then Hal can only see people's inner beauty. So everywhere he goes, every woman is just a stunning knockout of a person.

SPEAKER_01

And then he wait, and all the um really pretty girls that are real bitches are like ugly as hell.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah, because their inner beauty is not their inside is is is right, they're not nice people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I forgot about that. They've got like a ward on their nose and stuff like that. Um, and then so he falls in love with Rosemary. So Rosemary's played by Gwyneth Paltrow. Everyone else sees Rosemary as this larger woman.

SPEAKER_01

FYI, do you notice in the movie that they never really show her head much?

SPEAKER_00

It must have been a lot to do.

SPEAKER_01

In the fat suit, anyway. There's not much, it's just mainly like from head like shoulders down.

SPEAKER_00

So do you reckon they had just a real overweight woman playing most of the scenes?

SPEAKER_01

Well, that's why I think none of her like her heads weren't like her head was never really in it in like a complete scene.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, imagine casting that.

SPEAKER_01

You'd be proud. I'd be like, that's a really fat lady.

SPEAKER_00

And this lady's like, I'm fat, might as well make some money off of it. Have you seen those like um feeding ladies, like on I don't know, YouTube or whatever? People send the money to buy food with to eat because they get off on it, and the women eat this like huge trays of food in one sitting and like a whole thing. Is that like a birthday cake?

SPEAKER_01

Hey, is that mukbang?

SPEAKER_00

I don't know what that is.

SPEAKER_01

That's when like they mukbang. Like, so you watch people eat like a shitload, like um, there's that, oh, what's his name? Nikki Avocado or whatever, and he got really fat from it and got like really, really unhealthy and like was a little bit nutty on YouTube, and then all of a sudden lost all the weight again and is still a fucking nutty, crazy guy. But just eat food, just eat and eat and eat and eat.

SPEAKER_00

Was he doing it for other people's sexual gratification?

SPEAKER_01

Well, maybe. Who knows how many crazy people are out there?

SPEAKER_00

Well, these women are doing it for other people to get sexually aroused by them eating, and then yeah, they're just so overweight that they're gonna die. They're gonna die from it. It's wild. I love those videos. You ever watch my 600-pound life? Uh no, I have not. Oh, so it's basically these hugely overweight people that have to get like transported to the hospital to get weighed in a special ambulance and all this stuff. And there's this doctor there, and his name's Dr. Now, and he just tells them like it is. They're like, I'm I'm worried about going on a diet. Like, I feel like I'm gonna be hungry and stuff. He's like, You already eat all your food for the next five years.

SPEAKER_01

That's the last. Oh my god, what an asshole.

SPEAKER_00

I love how we talk. It's so funny. Anyway, so Hal falls in love with Rosebery, played by Gwyneth Paltrow. Everyone sees her as the very much larger woman that she is. He sees her as an attractive supermodel. And the movie keeps trying to teach us that beauty comes from within, but then immediately follows that with, Look, she broke a chair! Ah and then look, the canoe sank with her, you know, like, and then everyone deserves love. Oh, look, she's broken the elevator. Like you're just swinging back and forth between like it's fine, she's got inner beauty, and how embarrassing are fat people, like how awkward. Yeah, just how embarrassing to to be. But the thing is, he in the end of it, she's uh he sees how she really is because um what's his name? Um, George Costanza? What's his name? Jason. You know who I'm talking about. No. What do you mean you don't know who who's George Costanza played? Did you ever watch Seinfeld?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, no, we've we've we've gone through this before where I'm like, I really need to watch this, but I haven't watched it.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, Jason Alexander. Okay. The actor's name's Jason Alexander, and he's uh he's like, he tells him, like, no, no, she's actually like heaps overweight. She's not pretty, and then it breaks the spell or whatever. And he's like, Oh, you can't see her until we can get you re-hypnotized. Because he's like, You'll need the jaws of life to get that image out of your mind. So he puts Vaseline on his eyeballs, and he's like, I don't know how they've come up with this. It's pretty funny. He's like, Um, I can't come out, Rosemary. I've got uh uh and Jason Alexander goes, CC. And he's he's looking at him like, what? What the fuck? What did you just say that I had? She's like, What's CC? I want to know, I'll take my chances. I'm coming in. And he's like, Um, it's contagious conjunctivitis. Like, that's amazing. And then yeah, he puts all the shit all over his eyes so he doesn't see her. And in the end, he sees her how she really is, and he's like, Oh my god, you're beautiful. Like, surprised that anyone could find anyone overweight attractive. I just feel that it is a movie that manages to insult pretty people, overweight people, old people. At one point, one of the ladies have it had a tail. Do you remember one of the girls in there had a tail?

SPEAKER_01

Oh, I thought that was off um Juice Bigelow.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, maybe I'm getting my movies mixed up.

SPEAKER_01

Um I don't remember tail. Oh no, no, no. Yes, his friend, who is the judgmental one, he's the one with the tail.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, that's right. Yes, Jason Alexander is like, I have a tail. I have a tail, wag, whack. He's like, You mean a story to tell? No, a tail, wag, wag. It's like a story to tell. Oh, yeah, so he wasn't perfect and he was just judging all these women being well, he's got a tail in his pants and they can't date anyone because no one wants to date a guy with a tail. But yeah, I just feel like um, yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't need to be a question in the movie society of like, do overweight people have as much value? And and and like also even for attractive people, like they were ugly on the inside. Are they? Are all attractive women who look after themselves also bitches? That seems a bit unfair.

SPEAKER_01

Like I question myself every single day.

SPEAKER_00

Sometimes I'm like I'm one of those women.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I know. I'm like, I think I'm pretty, but then am I a bitch? Or is it vice versa?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, as an attractive intended. Like, I'm a really nice girl. Um okay. Well, yeah, that is that's the that's the inappropriate movie. Is there anything else you want to tell me about fat people that get people turned on by eating?

SPEAKER_01

Um, no.

SPEAKER_00

We said it all.

SPEAKER_01

This actually happened.

SPEAKER_00

I'm gonna play that again because your cough might have covered it up.

SPEAKER_01

This actually happened.

SPEAKER_00

This actually happened, Tara. This actually happened. Here we go. Okay. Going back about four and a half thousand years to the ancient city of Ur. And I almost didn't do this one because I didn't want to have to try and pronounce this city's name. It's U R. I'm like, oh, that seems like a problem. I don't know how to say it. Uh, the archaeologist uncovered a royal cemetery, and they expect to find kings and queens and treasure. It's a royal cemetery, right? Maybe there's going to be a few ceremonial objects. What they also find in there is dozens of bodies arranged neatly around the tombs, and they include servants, musicians, guards, and attendants. And they're all just lined up, like they're waiting to take a photo, and they're all dead. And so what's happened here is that the king has died, and the people around him are like, Well, who's gonna serve him in the afterlife? And the answer is you lot. And so, yeah, like the musicians had their instruments with them, the guards had their weapons with them, everyone was ready for work.

SPEAKER_01

So they were there prepared to be sacrificed.

SPEAKER_00

Well, it says that the historians thought that they willingly drank poison. But then modern scans revealed evidence that many may have received blunt force trauma to the head. Which means I suppose that means that um serving in the afterlife was less voluntary, I suppose, than we thought it would be. I wouldn't have thought it'd be very voluntary at all. Um yeah, just imagine like getting there for your like annual performance review. They're like, you've been excellent. Oh, thank you. The king's very pleased with your work. Oh, wonderful. He's dead. Oh shit. Back your bags, you're still employed. Yes. I've been promoted. Yeah, good news. You get to keep working with him. But isn't he dead? Yes, he is. Um, yeah, so they've just buried their servants. That's it. That's that story.

SPEAKER_01

They just took away back then. They honestly did believe that to serve them in the after like the afterlife was an actual. I don't think I'd be a fan of that though. I'd be like, you know, I can smile in this lifetime because I go home and I eat and I replenish my need to want to please and be a good servant for you. But afterlife, like, you know, can you explain more? Like, is that forever more, like eternity?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. A lot. Yeah. Um, all right, I've got another, I've got the present day story, which is Are we the problem?

SPEAKER_03

Are we the problem?

SPEAKER_00

Okay, so did you know that there is a town uh in which these Rhesus macaque monkeys are in charge? I don't know where it is, but what I read about, I think it's in India, these these monkeys have come to realize that if they take your shit, you'll give them stuff to get it back. So there's like different monkeys playing different roles, like one stands guard, one gets the thing, one shakes you down for to get the phone back and stuff.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So like the monkey comes over and steals your phone, you panic and you offer it food, and then it throws your phone back because it's been paid. They're like a mob, like yeah, just terrorizing the town and they're in charge. Isn't that amazing? And it just gets a bit loud to happen.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I I don't know. When I went to Thailand, the monkeys there, they were pretty um vicious. And like Monkey Island or Monkey, yeah, some monkey island, I think it was. And they were like, they were really cute, but they were loud and they knew exactly what they wanted. And um, yeah, they would bombard you.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, but it like they take your phone and you're like, here's a banana, and they've still got your phone. They're like, no. You're like, here's two bananas, they're like, no. You're like, here's two bananas and a mango. They're like, fine, deal. Here's your phone back. It's like they're literally like, yeah, they know what they want, like you say. They're like, I'll just wait for the thing that I'm actually wanting here to give you this thing back. I just think that's amazing. And and also they're kind of smarter than us. In that scenario, don't you think they're they're the boss of the humans?

SPEAKER_01

Um yeah, they're tak they're taking advantage of our stupidity.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, they're like, you know, you're you're a slave to money. You don't want to lose this phone, it's worth too much money. So you'll you'll do stuff for it. It gives them power over us.

SPEAKER_01

Wouldn't people learn by now just to have a device like have something like so your phone doesn't get taken?

SPEAKER_00

Have a decoy. How many decoy phones can you have on you?

SPEAKER_01

That's a good idea, actually. I didn't even think of a decoy a decoy phone.

SPEAKER_00

So many monkeys around.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, no, I don't mean decoy, I mean like have a strap around your neck or something. So then, like, if they do try and snatch it, it's gonna be connected to you. So then you have a monkey hanging off you.

SPEAKER_00

All right, I've I've got a little game for you. Do you want to do two mooses and a lie? Uh or do you want to play my game first? Play your game. This is the first time we're having an animal trivia challenge. I'm gonna see if Tara knows anything about animals.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

And our listeners may also like to play along. So, Tara, how many hearts does an octopus have?

SPEAKER_01

Oh, three?

SPEAKER_00

Yes! Oh my god! Oh, I thought you were gonna say something else, and I had a like fully in my head I was gonna say it's three, you stupid bitch. Oh wow. I hope you burn in hell. So ready to insult you. You must have watched um Finding Dory.

SPEAKER_01

That's where I went. No, but there is um My Octopus, my keeper.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, like the new movie?

SPEAKER_01

It was a documentary on an octopus.

SPEAKER_00

My octopus teacher?

SPEAKER_01

Maybe that was it.

SPEAKER_00

I never watched that.

SPEAKER_01

I just mixed up a movie and an octopus documentary.

SPEAKER_00

There is a theory that octopuses My octopus, my keeper. There's a theory that they are aliens. I've heard that, yeah. Yeah, I don't mind that for a conspiracy theory. All right. What is the largest species of penguin? With the actual name. Yes.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, I wouldn't know that. Um, hang on.

SPEAKER_00

What's the only species that you know of of penguin?

SPEAKER_01

I only know oh, penguin.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. What do you think I said?

SPEAKER_01

I always think pelican.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my god, the largest species of pelican. You're like, how many different types of pelicans do I? I only know the one. The one normal pelican.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know. I only know now I'm thinking of pelican. Um, penguin. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

Emperor penguin.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I wouldn't have got that.

SPEAKER_00

What do you mean you wouldn't have got that? You did never watch Happy Feet?

SPEAKER_01

No, I was assuming there was mini, medium penguin, and large. Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_00

Well, the larger species would then be the large penguin, if that's was the different names of them. They would just be called the large one. Okay. What animal has the highest blood pressure on earth?

SPEAKER_01

Blood pressure.

SPEAKER_00

I've never heard this before.

SPEAKER_01

Ooh. I'd go the bird. You think it's a bird, really? I don't know. Sometimes I get so scared they die. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, no, that's that tracks. The giraffe. It's a giraffe. Yeah, so now we all know that. Okay, which venomous mammal lays eggs?

SPEAKER_01

Ooh, the platypus.

SPEAKER_00

Well done! Oh, you put those clues together, didn't you? Yeah, that was good. I like that one. All right, what is the fastest fish in the ocean? I did not know this. The swordfish? No, but I just did a guess the animal the other day with Matt and his son. And I swordfish was the one that I had. And they're just like, is it, you know, is it in the ocean? I'm like, yes. And they're like, is it a type of fish? I'm like, yes. They're like, there's so many types of fish. I'm like, I know. It's gonna take you so long. And then he got it. Eventually, Matt said swordfish. Uh, it's not a swordfish.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Then what is it?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, it's a sailfish.

SPEAKER_01

Never heard of it.

SPEAKER_00

I also have never heard of it. Also, speaking of that game, of like, um, we you know how you could do like something starting with the letter of, like I spy, something starting with the letter of.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I still complain about this to this day. My stepdad, who's a dickhead, but this is probably the I don't know, I still think it's a dickhead move, but it's probably not that bad looking back on it. We we're we're traveling, we're in the car, and he's saying something starting with you, and in the end, it was undulation.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god, what the hell is that?

SPEAKER_00

Thank you. Yes. Is that even a word? It's just the landscape being a bit hilly, like going up and down. It's the lay of the landscape. It's a bit, it's not flat, it's a bit hilly. Oh, that's so stupid. That's what undulation is.

SPEAKER_01

Anyway, we were playing Josh and I a game before, actually. On Netflix, they've got like some game section, and it's one where you've got to put in a um the answer to and hope to confuse them. Like it's a um, yeah. But because I can't spell, I was like, he'd know which one was mine because I put Donald Trumpet. I can't believe I did that.

SPEAKER_00

Did you think that his name is spelt trumpet?

SPEAKER_01

Well, that's how I spelt it. It's Donald Trump. Wait, Trump. I thought I don't know, silent T, I don't know. Okay, I didn't win.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, you've got a disadvantage.

SPEAKER_01

Well, he pointed it out afterwards. He's like, you know how I didn't know it was I knew it was you? And I'm like, how? And he's like, because I know that Donald Trumpet isn't a person. Like, oh yeah, T-R-U-M-P, not E T.

SPEAKER_00

All right, I've got question seven. What is the only venomous primate? And I'm like looking this up to try and corroborate that this is even true.

SPEAKER_01

Only venomous what?

SPEAKER_00

Primate, a venomous monkey. Oh, that's that's I think that's misleading. It's got a toxic bite. Venomous bites.

SPEAKER_01

So it's toxic or venomous or both because it's the same their venom-filled bites can rot flesh and cause anaphylactic shock. Ooh, it's a spider.

SPEAKER_00

No, no, it's a primate. It's a monkey.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, it is actually a monkey. Okay.

SPEAKER_00

The only venomous primate. What's the name of it?

SPEAKER_01

Spider monkey?

SPEAKER_00

It's called It's called a slow loris, obviously. Ooh, it started with S. Okay, which bird can recognize itself in a mirror? I reckon they all can. The toucan. What? The toucan can. Who can the toucan can? No, it's the Eurasian magpie, obviously. Oh okay, it's Eurasian. Okay. Why are you being like this? Magpie.

SPEAKER_01

Speaking of which, I'd love to own a crow.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah, they're so clever. Why don't people own crows? Why do we have pet cockatoos but no crows? What's that about?

SPEAKER_01

I don't know. I've always wanted to find a baby crow so I could raise it, but I just don't use it.

SPEAKER_00

You should raise a baby crow for sure. Before you die, you should try and raise a baby crow.

SPEAKER_01

It's on my before I die list.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, no, that's a really good one. That's important, Cara. You should do that.

SPEAKER_01

I will. Thank you. I'll put it up. I'll move it from like owning a house up to like a crow lady.

SPEAKER_00

Uh, which animal has the largest eyes in the world? Their eyes are bigger than basketballs.

SPEAKER_01

Basketballs, Jesus. Okay, well then that would have to be something to do with the fish animal.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

A whale? No. Um, what else would have big basketball eyes? Is it a water animal? Yeah. Okay, cool. Um, going in the right direction.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I reckon you nearly got this.

SPEAKER_01

I can't think of anything that's like big like a whale. Something that's it's there. Oh, a killer whale. No.

SPEAKER_00

An orca? Do you think it's because I was like, she didn't specify the type of whale? That's what you've got one.

SPEAKER_01

It's the Ryanum bird.

SPEAKER_00

You look, you've done a good job here. You've got a number of points. I'm gonna give you this one. It's the colossal squid.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, for fuck's sake, the colossal squid.

SPEAKER_00

Giant squid, yeah. Now that I've said that, you're like, oh yeah, they would be pretty big, hey.

SPEAKER_01

I wouldn't have known to say colossal.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, well, you could have said giant squid. I would have accepted giant squid. Yeah, okay, fair enough.

SPEAKER_01

I'd take that. Gross.

SPEAKER_00

Um have you had two two mooses and a lie for me?

SPEAKER_01

I don't have two mooses and a lie for you, but I do have. I was promised two mooses and a lie. No, I said a game. Fine.

SPEAKER_00

Go ahead then. Let's not fight about it.

SPEAKER_03

Uh things we don't understand.

SPEAKER_01

Thanks. Okay, so alright. I'm just reading it. Okay, so we've got inner beauty, outer chaos. So eat, um, so we've got to pick a random wholesome trait and um a random cursed physical manifestation. So an example is loves animals, cursed appearance, looks like a taxidermy possum. Or volunteers at the shoulder, cursed appearance has the posture of a broken coat hanger. What?

SPEAKER_00

So what do you mean I have to choose them? Like, what would it be worth looking like to have? Like, what would I accept in a partner? If they're good to animals, I accept that they look like dog shit.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so you've got to pick your most wholesome trait about Matt, and then I've got to come up with a cursed appearance that was that would be similar to your wholesome trait. And that's what that makes no sense at all. I don't get it either. I'm just making this up as we go because I don't, I'm just reading and doing it as we go. So wholesome traits. Let's see what I can come up with. What?

SPEAKER_00

It's wholesome traits.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Matthew. Yeah. He's the whole everything's a wholesome trait.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, you're so gay.

SPEAKER_00

All right. Matt always does the right thing. Doesn't matter if it's easier or harder. He does the right thing. Not whatever's, yeah, easier. I appreciate that about him. Yeah, you can trust him to do the right thing. Is that wholesome? That's good. Um, okay.

SPEAKER_01

You've got nothing for the I'm just like, he looks like I don't know, he the cursed appearances um, but he's hunchback of Notre Dame.

SPEAKER_00

Hang on, I'm gonna press Tara and I just had an off-air brief pow about how this makes no sense. Uh so welcome back to two mooses and a lie. Okay, Tara. Sharks are older than trees. Octopuses have blue blood. Crocodiles can stick their tongues out.

SPEAKER_01

The lie is crocodiles can stick their tongue out.

SPEAKER_00

That is the lie. I wouldn't have known that. I would have thought they could have maybe stuck their tongue out a little bit, like to the side and stuff, you know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, no, I can't get me on animal ones.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, alright. A group of flamingos is called a flamboyance. Penguins have knees on the outside of their bodies. Crows can recognize human faces.

SPEAKER_01

Two.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I didn't think I was gonna get away with that one.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, nah.

SPEAKER_00

Penguins do not have knees on the outsides of their bodies. Uh, okay. Rats laugh when tickled. Otters hold hands while sleeping. Chameleons change colour mainly to camouflage themselves.

SPEAKER_01

One is the last one.

SPEAKER_00

I win! I win! Whoa, rats laugh when you tickle them. Chameleons mainly change colour for communication and temperature regulation.

SPEAKER_01

That's a trick question.

SPEAKER_00

That's another trick question. A little tricky one there, but it's um I'm I'm fine with it. I don't think it was like, you know, incorrect.

SPEAKER_01

No, that was good. All right, can I give you two misses and a lie about actual shallow how? Oh, yeah, go on then. See how much we can remember the movie seems like we probably haven't seen it for a really long time. So, one, Hal gets um hypnotized in an elevator by Tony Robbins because he's emotionally constipated. That's true. Is it? I don't remember him being constipated.

SPEAKER_00

Two emotionally constipated. He's not full of poo, he's full of emotion, like he can't let his emotions out.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Uh two, uh, how thinks a woman is gorgeous because she has the aura of kindness. No, that's a lie. And then three, Tony Robbins tells how he can now see people's credit scores instead of their inner beauty. All right, well, that was stupid. Um, one, Mauri You gotta read these before you read them. Okay, well, it doesn't matter. Yeah, um, character chaos. Mauritio has a tail that wags when he's excited. Well, that's the truth.

SPEAKER_00

Two, how do you tell me if they're the truth or the lie? As you are reading them out, it is not going to make a good game.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, sorry, my bad. Two, how thinks Rosemary is light enough to carry because she's um he sees her floating like a fairy. Three, how once mistakes a mannequin for real women because of her inner glow.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know, three's weird, but two's wrong. He picks her up and he's like, Why are you so heavy? Like, it doesn't make any sense. You weigh nothing, and she's just like, yeah, he's just carrying her along at great effort.

SPEAKER_01

So two's a lie. No, well, because two is how things rosemary is light enough to carry because he sees her as a floating fairy or sees her.

SPEAKER_00

He does not see her as a floating fairy. It's just rubbish, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01

I don't get the floating fairy, but maybe he does. Okay, and behind the scenes. One, Gwyneth Poultrol wore a 25-pound fat suit that took hours to get into. Two, Jack Black improvised the line about her heart weighing nothing. The studio occasionally wanted the hypnosis to be caused by a cursed lava lamp.

SPEAKER_00

What? Oh. Um, is it the third one?

SPEAKER_01

Three, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yes! Ah, well done. All right, well, that's it. We're all done. Yay! And I will see you next week and we'll talk about another inappropriate movie.

SPEAKER_01

Look forward to it. Alrighty.